Who am I in a world where I shape who I want to be?

Sometimes it's just difficult to keep going knowing what I now know let alone the things which I do not. How can I shape myself with such many molds, molds that deem to have truth, claim to hold a miracle, molds that promise and molds that keep it, molds that tell me to choose a mold but to be careful of which mold I choose and molds that say they are good. It's sad how I can't just call it confusion and move on because I'm in a mold of my own questions. Maybe I should listen to the mold that tells me to find a mold that answer the questions, or maybe the mold that puts me at ease by asking "WHAT MOLD?".

When I said I wanted clarity, I meant I don't want to see my own eye's reflection in my glasses.

Heartbeats of freedom
Heart beats to breath,
Heart aches for a dreamy romance
For roads I've never seen,
And yet, know.

A tigress and a knight, my soul seeks revenge but can't seem to compromise down to justice, down to where it all matters. "I'm too human" is what I hear inside, deep deep down, if I'm strong enough to look beyond the suffering I keep placing before me like a construction site that keeps running out of funds. Deep down, I'm just a kitten with a gentle tap of a two sided blade, one that is and one that wants to be.

20 👍🏽 and I'll explain my new profile picture.

;) thank you

Ryla Ethiopia performance, Not only have I learned key elements about modern leadership while harnessing what I have to offer, I have seen my color very well when it comes to my writings, music and performance, Thankyou once more. I definitely recommend the intensive training to anyone on their own path. 💙
@meskelhaile on the camera 🙏 thankyou very much brother!

Finished compiling what soon will be my first collection.

Love got overrated,
and underexplained. Because they tried.

Ohh 2020! 🥲😌

This...This is,
not about love, not even pain
I'll scribble
before I'm swallowed again.

Your months haunt me back to jump
Into the perfect world I had built,
Stories untold and selfs I had to shoot
down, so that they may live in harmony with darkness.

I pushed and pulled but later
gave into your words,
How could I have done that without light?
You had mistakes but you were true.

I believed once again, and proved to myself that I, a child turned man turned child could move mountains then remembered why I was holding my ears shut for so long.

This...This is,
not about love, not even pain
I'll scribble
before I'm swallowed again.

So long to the playlists that you made for me,
Cause they were made up for me.

I gave love almost as fast as you turned it into fear again and again, I put on my shades so when they colide they don't blind me, then caught a glimpse of your eyes that taught me the same magic trick, turning my roses into flames, my words into ash.

You whispered to me desperation is sometimes okay, to feel is to feel human and justified my toxic traits, I drowed myself in tears and how much I missed being human, then you let me walk out a door and called it a choice and I came back to find the doors locked already.

Why did you have to pull him into your world that was made for one?
Would it surprise you to know that I don’t want to see you ever again? “I know.”, she replied swallowing every bit of emotion her heart tells her to show, facts, truth, desire aside, she begged him with her eyes. He was not sure about what she was trying to say because he stopped listening to her words long ago. But her eyes say three; A desperate plead to step away before she hurt him again, A truth he was not ready to hear but knew, and hate. And too afraid to open the box, he froze, again. All three meant one and that one shatters his word because it threatened to expose him for what he truly was. A hypocrite.
What if her scent was an escape from the bareness of his beautiful reality?
You promised it wouldn’t always be this way,
Your lullabies covered my ears as we swam in the ocean of time, to a place I learned to let go, unburdened me of the clothes I had been wearing for a while until I was too honest to tell you that I had never been this bare, my chest softer by the minute, second, moment, you put all your weight then pushed me down into my own depth, down memory lane, down where light slowly starts to give up. Last thing I saw was your dry face, even underwater, but the last thing I felt was your hand going in my softened chest, all the way in till I felt you choking me from the inside. And for the first time I saw your tail.
Now it’s all in the past. A tale of a girl who tried to drown a merman.

I tried to understand God.
And in time, he let me.
But I couldn't live life anymore.
I chased after life and he let me.
I put all I knew into a box, then another until it filled up a room and locked it.
He then put the key around my neck as a reminder.
I forgot what it all was but the key.....the key reminds me of how big the room must have been, and upon remembering that, everything else I want to remember comes forth on it's own.

Now I live my life.

Doesn't it feel like we’re in a constant battle trying to merge the world in our head with the one we’re actually living in, like hot and cold water and sometimes water and oil and sometimes like there wasn’t even a glass to begin with, maybe I'm just confused.

Its when the voices start to whisper the road the doubt for sanity comes along. You think you finally understood the metaphors, angels, thoughts, that feeling in your chest and maybe even what is beyond your breath if you’re clam enough but its a matter of the next step you make before it all disappears like it never even made sense in the beginning. Some questions are not meant to be answered but should be asked regardless, because sometimes...the questions could be the answers we’re looking for or just hiding within.

- a while back

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