Good news: we have malware

Bad news: soon our malware collection will no longer be able to fit on an 8TB harddrive.

Our entire malware collection 7z ultra compressed is 7.02TB. Papers is 139GB (59,807 papers).

Yes, I'm chillin' with 7TB of malware while running Windows. I like to play video games and I also like doing WINAPI coding. Yes, I could use a VM, but that's a lot of work. It's easier to just carefully not detonate 7TB of malware.

We have incredible news.

Yesterday we spoke with Bernardo Quintero – the Founder of VirusTotal. He granted us insane API access to clean our malware collection. Thanks to him, and the VirusTotal team, we can now guarantee we're sharing pure malware with all of you.

Thank you, VirusTotal

Hello,

We're aware individuals are having problems accessing some files on vx-underground. Rest assured our finest nerds are on the case.

(two are on Holiday, we're so far up shits creek we can see the shit ocean).

This image was stolen from a Malwarebytes' post. This was the stock photo they used when discussing the National Public Data drama.

This guy looks so concerned 😭😭😭

Some software is secretly malicious.

MalwareBytes, why have you forsaken us?

Administrative updates:

Bad news:
Following our migration we're still having problems with users receiving ACCESS_DENIED when attempting to view or download files

Good news:
We have 100+- papers in queue. We broke a personal record and ingested 450,000+ new malware samples.

MalwareBytes responded by removing the block and blaming the intern.

Unironically underpaid social media controller for memeing the excuse meme.

10/10 for person controlling the account

Our advice to anyone who is trying to grow a project, or community, or whatever, is to be consistent.

Our first year we barely had 1,000 followers. We celebrated when we broke 100 followers because it was surreal thinking 100 people cared about this crappy little website.

Oh, and don't do it for clout. People can smell bullshit a mile away. Just be passionate about what you're doing and have fun. Everything else will follow.

On Tuesday, August 20th, 2024, the United States Department of Justice did a press release on the most intelligent person in world history.

Jesse Kipf, 29 of Somerset, Kentucky, USA, owed a total of $195,758.65 in child support. Jesse, being a true intellectual, decided to the best decision was to compromise the United States Hawaii Death Registry System, using stolen credentials from a physician in a different state outside of Hawaii, and insert himself into the Death Registry. Additionally, he used his own name, Jesse Kipf, to assert his own death and certified his own death using the name Jesse Kipf

tl;dr Jesse Kipf died, death was certified by the deceased Jesse Kipf and corpse of Jesse Kipf was verified by the deceased Jesse Kipf (recursive death certification and verification?)

The death certificate was signed by a different physicians stolen signature.

He was sentenced to 6 years and 7 months in prison for being a true intellectual.

More information: https://www.justice.gov/usao-edky/pr/pulaski-county-man-sentenced-cyber-intrusion-and-aggravated-identity-theft

vx-underground was created to store malware source code, samples, and papers that I liked.

Since 2019 nothing has really changed except I got a team of friends, some help, and some malware source code, samples, and papers.

VXUG in 2019:
https://web.archive.org/web/20190522032703/http://vx-underground.org/

Thanks to everyones donations the new vx-underground hardware has arrived and is in prod.

Pros:
- Process malware faster than a fast thing
- Anime

Cons:
- Sounds like jet engine
- Makes room hotter than hell
- Scares the dog

We're so back.

We're correctly labeling our malware collection and filtering out the non-malicious files

Rumors are floating around someone has compromised wedding planning site 'TheKnot'. Someone is using it to send spam phishing links — accusing people's spouses of cheating.

Which one of you degenerates did this?