On Tuesday, August 20th, 2024, the United States Department of Justice did a press release on the most intelligent person in world history.

Jesse Kipf, 29 of Somerset, Kentucky, USA, owed a total of $195,758.65 in child support. Jesse, being a true intellectual, decided to the best decision was to compromise the United States Hawaii Death Registry System, using stolen credentials from a physician in a different state outside of Hawaii, and insert himself into the Death Registry. Additionally, he used his own name, Jesse Kipf, to assert his own death and certified his own death using the name Jesse Kipf

tl;dr Jesse Kipf died, death was certified by the deceased Jesse Kipf and corpse of Jesse Kipf was verified by the deceased Jesse Kipf (recursive death certification and verification?)

The death certificate was signed by a different physicians stolen signature.

He was sentenced to 6 years and 7 months in prison for being a true intellectual.

More information: https://www.justice.gov/usao-edky/pr/pulaski-county-man-sentenced-cyber-intrusion-and-aggravated-identity-theft

vx-underground was created to store malware source code, samples, and papers that I liked.

Since 2019 nothing has really changed except I got a team of friends, some help, and some malware source code, samples, and papers.

VXUG in 2019:
https://web.archive.org/web/20190522032703/http://vx-underground.org/

Thanks to everyones donations the new vx-underground hardware has arrived and is in prod.

Pros:
- Process malware faster than a fast thing
- Anime

Cons:
- Sounds like jet engine
- Makes room hotter than hell
- Scares the dog

We're so back.

We're correctly labeling our malware collection and filtering out the non-malicious files

Rumors are floating around someone has compromised wedding planning site 'TheKnot'. Someone is using it to send spam phishing links — accusing people's spouses of cheating.

Which one of you degenerates did this?

I got social engineered into giving an interview for BreachedForum.

They impersonated CyberScoopNews. It seemed strange the journalist was using a Gmail, but I never thought I would be tricked into a vx-underground interview.

Solid impersonation, silly goof.

10/10

Our interview with 'Grep' — impersonating a journalist.

https://x.com/vxunderground/status/1827002916856627556

New cooling system on fleek 🙏🙏

Thank you to our friend TracketPacer for the hardware donation to vx-underground. It doesn't seem fully functional, but it may be a mistake on our part.

We've sanitized the vx-underground malware ingestion releases for May, 2024. All samples are now named correctly. We're now processing June and July 2024.

It's literally only malware 🥺

United States Federal Bureau of Investigation: you're a person of interest

tfw the FBI is flirting with you (they think you're really interesting)

There have been multiple instances now where we end up speaking with Chief Executive Officer's at large, and well-known, cyber security company's.

Ultimately during the course of our conversation we end up responding with kitty kat pictures.

Each time they're confused 😂😂😂

Imagine being the big-boss of some place and unironically having to deal our dumbasses because we're the only morons willing to collect malware material at this scale😂😂

The CEO of Telegram was arrested in France at 8PM (approx. 3 hours ago as of this writing).

It is alleged he was arrested for lack of moderation on Telegram and not complying with Law Enforcement agencies.

https://www.tf1info.fr/justice-faits-divers/info-tf1-lci-le-fondateur-et-pdg-de-la-messagerie-cryptee-telegram-interpelle-en-france-2316072.html

Just detonated ransomware on my ransomed computer. Now the ransomware group is being ransomed so they can get their ransom from me.

Administrative updates:

- Daily malware ingestion average is 400,000
- Infrastructure difficulties with our VXDB — migrating is illegal and for nerds
- Paper additions temporarily suspended
- SosMula of City Morgue agreed to give us his autograph

Have a nice day

upgraded the cooling system last night

been a tough week fr