society, chronic illness, survivorship bias
"reading letters from 1818 is wild
"its that time of the year when i get colds for no apparent reason again” have some clairitin hon
But also we're not becoming allergic to everything nowadays like certain white moms fear. Allergies have always existed. They were just talked about differently
Like "oh clams always ~turn my stomach~".
Or "what a pity he was taken from us at age 5"
"Well we didn't have all this fancy chronic illness stuffin the Olden Days, what did people do then??"
They died, Ashleigh.
This is a picture tracking bullet holes on Alied planes that encountered Nazi anti-aircraft fire in WW2.
At first, the military wanted to reinforce those areas, because obviously that's where the ground crews observed the most damage on returning planes. Until Hungarian-born Jewish mathematician Abraham Wald pointed out that this the damage on the planes that made it home, and the Alies should armor the areas where there are no dots at all,because those are the places where the planes won't survive when hit. This phenomenon is called survivorship bias, a logic error where you focus on things that survived when you shouid really be looking at things that didn't.
We have higher rates of mental illness now? Maybe that's because we've stopped killing people for being "possessed” or "witches”
Higher rate of allergies? Anaphylaxis kills,and does so really fast if you don't know what's happening. Higher claims of rape? Maybe victims are less afraid of coming forward. These problems were all happening before, but now we've reinforced the medical and social structures needed to help these people survive. And we stil have a long way to go."
"reading letters from 1818 is wild
"its that time of the year when i get colds for no apparent reason again” have some clairitin hon
But also we're not becoming allergic to everything nowadays like certain white moms fear. Allergies have always existed. They were just talked about differently
Like "oh clams always ~turn my stomach~".
Or "what a pity he was taken from us at age 5"
"Well we didn't have all this fancy chronic illness stuffin the Olden Days, what did people do then??"
They died, Ashleigh.
This is a picture tracking bullet holes on Alied planes that encountered Nazi anti-aircraft fire in WW2.
At first, the military wanted to reinforce those areas, because obviously that's where the ground crews observed the most damage on returning planes. Until Hungarian-born Jewish mathematician Abraham Wald pointed out that this the damage on the planes that made it home, and the Alies should armor the areas where there are no dots at all,because those are the places where the planes won't survive when hit. This phenomenon is called survivorship bias, a logic error where you focus on things that survived when you shouid really be looking at things that didn't.
We have higher rates of mental illness now? Maybe that's because we've stopped killing people for being "possessed” or "witches”
Higher rate of allergies? Anaphylaxis kills,and does so really fast if you don't know what's happening. Higher claims of rape? Maybe victims are less afraid of coming forward. These problems were all happening before, but now we've reinforced the medical and social structures needed to help these people survive. And we stil have a long way to go."
❤10🔥1
mental health, self compassion, socialization
"You hate yourself so loudly. You hate yourself at the top of your lungs. Your loathing for yourself permeates your speech. "Sorry I’m just rambling." "Don’t worry about it." "Just ignore me." "Sorry if I’'m annoying you." "Sorry i don’t make sense." "Sorry about that." Sorry, sorry, sorry. You act as if you have to beat everyone else to the punch. As if the punching bag is you. If you hate yourself first, if you hate yourself loudest, then nobody will hurt you. You clapped your hands over your ears and shut your eyes and balled yourself up so that you’d never have to experience people’s loathing for you. And it meant you never heard their love. You drowned it out. You screamed your hatred over it. And you never got to hear it."
"You hate yourself so loudly. You hate yourself at the top of your lungs. Your loathing for yourself permeates your speech. "Sorry I’m just rambling." "Don’t worry about it." "Just ignore me." "Sorry if I’'m annoying you." "Sorry i don’t make sense." "Sorry about that." Sorry, sorry, sorry. You act as if you have to beat everyone else to the punch. As if the punching bag is you. If you hate yourself first, if you hate yourself loudest, then nobody will hurt you. You clapped your hands over your ears and shut your eyes and balled yourself up so that you’d never have to experience people’s loathing for you. And it meant you never heard their love. You drowned it out. You screamed your hatred over it. And you never got to hear it."
👍7😢1
socialization, lgbt
"
If someone is coming out to you/telling you about their sexuality, match their energy.
If they’re not making it a big deal, you shouldn't either.
If they're really nervous or emotional, respond with compassion.
If they're excited, be excited with them.
I've seen a lot of things that seem to imply that it's always best to be really super amped about someone coming out, but that kind of energy can be embarrassing or uncomfortable if the person doesn't feel the same way.
On the flip side, if you respond with indifference, you might think you're being a good friend by not caring whether they're gay or straight or whatevs, but that can be extremely invalidating if this is a monumental or exciting moment for the person.
Read the room, match the energy."
"
If someone is coming out to you/telling you about their sexuality, match their energy.
If they’re not making it a big deal, you shouldn't either.
If they're really nervous or emotional, respond with compassion.
If they're excited, be excited with them.
I've seen a lot of things that seem to imply that it's always best to be really super amped about someone coming out, but that kind of energy can be embarrassing or uncomfortable if the person doesn't feel the same way.
On the flip side, if you respond with indifference, you might think you're being a good friend by not caring whether they're gay or straight or whatevs, but that can be extremely invalidating if this is a monumental or exciting moment for the person.
Read the room, match the energy."
👍6❤4🥰1
socialization, abuse, self compassion
"please dont beat yourself up for not picking up on red flags sooner. you did your best at the time and ultimately its not your fault someone was treating you badly
Not only that, but it’s not uncommon for abusers to hide or make excuses for things that turn out to be red flags when you look back. And even when they don't, you're not always going to see them in the moment, sometimes you don't realize something is bad until after time has passed and you've processed it."
"please dont beat yourself up for not picking up on red flags sooner. you did your best at the time and ultimately its not your fault someone was treating you badly
Not only that, but it’s not uncommon for abusers to hide or make excuses for things that turn out to be red flags when you look back. And even when they don't, you're not always going to see them in the moment, sometimes you don't realize something is bad until after time has passed and you've processed it."
👏4🥰1
emotions, trauma, self compassion
"emotional flashbacks often dont have a visual component. pay attention to suddenly feeling small, powerless, helpless-- they're signs you might've been triggered and yanked into an emotional flashback
Breathe; blink; check in with your senses; engage your self talk noscript."
"emotional flashbacks often dont have a visual component. pay attention to suddenly feeling small, powerless, helpless-- they're signs you might've been triggered and yanked into an emotional flashback
Breathe; blink; check in with your senses; engage your self talk noscript."
❤5🔥2
parenting, trauma
"there is a tiktok i saw of a woman who was 80 who said when she was 13/14 and was first trying out makeup and her mom saw her put on blush, her mom said she looked like a clown
and now 60+ some years later, to this day, she hears her mom's voice say that to her when she puts on blush
and she ended the tiktok with how words parents say to us haunt us forever
and i have been thinking about that a lot
cause so many of the negative things i hear in my head forever are my mom's voice of things she said
if you're a parent or plan on becoming one, don't become your child's negative voice for their entire lives"
"there is a tiktok i saw of a woman who was 80 who said when she was 13/14 and was first trying out makeup and her mom saw her put on blush, her mom said she looked like a clown
and now 60+ some years later, to this day, she hears her mom's voice say that to her when she puts on blush
and she ended the tiktok with how words parents say to us haunt us forever
and i have been thinking about that a lot
cause so many of the negative things i hear in my head forever are my mom's voice of things she said
if you're a parent or plan on becoming one, don't become your child's negative voice for their entire lives"
❤11
long ago, when humans still lived in caves, someone had to stay up all night to watch out for bears etc
part of the evolution of the humans made it so a part of the group would be awake at night and sleep at day
that part of human history wasnt "that" long ago. there hasnt been time to make brains de-evolve that bit
even nowadays, a part of the human poblation has their brains wired to be awake at night no matter what
if you have a hard time staying awake at day and/or sleeping at night, dont beat yourself up too much about it. its unfair if you blame yourself for stuff that isnt your fault
part of the evolution of the humans made it so a part of the group would be awake at night and sleep at day
that part of human history wasnt "that" long ago. there hasnt been time to make brains de-evolve that bit
even nowadays, a part of the human poblation has their brains wired to be awake at night no matter what
if you have a hard time staying awake at day and/or sleeping at night, dont beat yourself up too much about it. its unfair if you blame yourself for stuff that isnt your fault
❤16
trauma, self compassion
"Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be."
"Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be."
❤11
adhd, neurodivergency, self compassion
"Executive dysfunction life hack
Instead of telling yourself, "i should get up," or "i should do this,"
Ask yourself, "When will i get up?" or "When will i be ready to do this?"
Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is manifestly bad at, listen to yourself with compassionate curiosity and be ready to receive the signal to move when it comes.
Things i did not actually realize was an option
Another thing that has been helpful for me personally has been, when my brain says, ‘I don't want to do that thing right now," i ask it, "Okay. Why not right now, specifically?"
Sometimes there's a reason, and that's cool, but sometimes my brain is like "... because?" And i am able to tell my brain it's full of nonsense and we do the thing."
"Executive dysfunction life hack
Instead of telling yourself, "i should get up," or "i should do this,"
Ask yourself, "When will i get up?" or "When will i be ready to do this?"
Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is manifestly bad at, listen to yourself with compassionate curiosity and be ready to receive the signal to move when it comes.
Things i did not actually realize was an option
Another thing that has been helpful for me personally has been, when my brain says, ‘I don't want to do that thing right now," i ask it, "Okay. Why not right now, specifically?"
Sometimes there's a reason, and that's cool, but sometimes my brain is like "... because?" And i am able to tell my brain it's full of nonsense and we do the thing."
❤15👍2💯1
self compassion, chores, society
"gentle reminder that the 40 hour work week is outdated and was designed with the assumption someone else was going to be always taking care of cooking, cleaning and household errands. it wasnt designed for you to be doing it all and if you're having a hard time, you're not a failure"
"gentle reminder that the 40 hour work week is outdated and was designed with the assumption someone else was going to be always taking care of cooking, cleaning and household errands. it wasnt designed for you to be doing it all and if you're having a hard time, you're not a failure"
❤19
unscheduled reminder for everyone here that yes, you deserve to exist, and yes, it is okay that you do
❤14😢3
socialization, art
"when an artist wants to show you their art
or a writer wants you to read what they've written
it's quite often an expression of trust
because a poem or a story or a painting are often things that come from the heart
little pieces of the artists themselves
and if they’re willing to share it with you
you should appreciate it
THANK GOD SOMEONE KNOWS BECAUSE i SWEAR TO GOD WHEN i SHOW IT TO PEOPLE THEY THINK IM BRAGGING"
"when an artist wants to show you their art
or a writer wants you to read what they've written
it's quite often an expression of trust
because a poem or a story or a painting are often things that come from the heart
little pieces of the artists themselves
and if they’re willing to share it with you
you should appreciate it
THANK GOD SOMEONE KNOWS BECAUSE i SWEAR TO GOD WHEN i SHOW IT TO PEOPLE THEY THINK IM BRAGGING"
❤18