parenting, trauma
"there is a tiktok i saw of a woman who was 80 who said when she was 13/14 and was first trying out makeup and her mom saw her put on blush, her mom said she looked like a clown
and now 60+ some years later, to this day, she hears her mom's voice say that to her when she puts on blush
and she ended the tiktok with how words parents say to us haunt us forever
and i have been thinking about that a lot
cause so many of the negative things i hear in my head forever are my mom's voice of things she said
if you're a parent or plan on becoming one, don't become your child's negative voice for their entire lives"
"there is a tiktok i saw of a woman who was 80 who said when she was 13/14 and was first trying out makeup and her mom saw her put on blush, her mom said she looked like a clown
and now 60+ some years later, to this day, she hears her mom's voice say that to her when she puts on blush
and she ended the tiktok with how words parents say to us haunt us forever
and i have been thinking about that a lot
cause so many of the negative things i hear in my head forever are my mom's voice of things she said
if you're a parent or plan on becoming one, don't become your child's negative voice for their entire lives"
❤11
long ago, when humans still lived in caves, someone had to stay up all night to watch out for bears etc
part of the evolution of the humans made it so a part of the group would be awake at night and sleep at day
that part of human history wasnt "that" long ago. there hasnt been time to make brains de-evolve that bit
even nowadays, a part of the human poblation has their brains wired to be awake at night no matter what
if you have a hard time staying awake at day and/or sleeping at night, dont beat yourself up too much about it. its unfair if you blame yourself for stuff that isnt your fault
part of the evolution of the humans made it so a part of the group would be awake at night and sleep at day
that part of human history wasnt "that" long ago. there hasnt been time to make brains de-evolve that bit
even nowadays, a part of the human poblation has their brains wired to be awake at night no matter what
if you have a hard time staying awake at day and/or sleeping at night, dont beat yourself up too much about it. its unfair if you blame yourself for stuff that isnt your fault
❤16
trauma, self compassion
"Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be."
"Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be."
❤11
adhd, neurodivergency, self compassion
"Executive dysfunction life hack
Instead of telling yourself, "i should get up," or "i should do this,"
Ask yourself, "When will i get up?" or "When will i be ready to do this?"
Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is manifestly bad at, listen to yourself with compassionate curiosity and be ready to receive the signal to move when it comes.
Things i did not actually realize was an option
Another thing that has been helpful for me personally has been, when my brain says, ‘I don't want to do that thing right now," i ask it, "Okay. Why not right now, specifically?"
Sometimes there's a reason, and that's cool, but sometimes my brain is like "... because?" And i am able to tell my brain it's full of nonsense and we do the thing."
"Executive dysfunction life hack
Instead of telling yourself, "i should get up," or "i should do this,"
Ask yourself, "When will i get up?" or "When will i be ready to do this?"
Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is manifestly bad at, listen to yourself with compassionate curiosity and be ready to receive the signal to move when it comes.
Things i did not actually realize was an option
Another thing that has been helpful for me personally has been, when my brain says, ‘I don't want to do that thing right now," i ask it, "Okay. Why not right now, specifically?"
Sometimes there's a reason, and that's cool, but sometimes my brain is like "... because?" And i am able to tell my brain it's full of nonsense and we do the thing."
❤15👍2💯1
self compassion, chores, society
"gentle reminder that the 40 hour work week is outdated and was designed with the assumption someone else was going to be always taking care of cooking, cleaning and household errands. it wasnt designed for you to be doing it all and if you're having a hard time, you're not a failure"
"gentle reminder that the 40 hour work week is outdated and was designed with the assumption someone else was going to be always taking care of cooking, cleaning and household errands. it wasnt designed for you to be doing it all and if you're having a hard time, you're not a failure"
❤19
unscheduled reminder for everyone here that yes, you deserve to exist, and yes, it is okay that you do
❤14😢3
socialization, art
"when an artist wants to show you their art
or a writer wants you to read what they've written
it's quite often an expression of trust
because a poem or a story or a painting are often things that come from the heart
little pieces of the artists themselves
and if they’re willing to share it with you
you should appreciate it
THANK GOD SOMEONE KNOWS BECAUSE i SWEAR TO GOD WHEN i SHOW IT TO PEOPLE THEY THINK IM BRAGGING"
"when an artist wants to show you their art
or a writer wants you to read what they've written
it's quite often an expression of trust
because a poem or a story or a painting are often things that come from the heart
little pieces of the artists themselves
and if they’re willing to share it with you
you should appreciate it
THANK GOD SOMEONE KNOWS BECAUSE i SWEAR TO GOD WHEN i SHOW IT TO PEOPLE THEY THINK IM BRAGGING"
❤18
unscheduled reminder that you cant love someone's mental illness away. it is hard as fuck to acknowledge and deal with that fact, but letting your own mental health be dragged to hell with that someone's is not gonna help any of you. if help is required, try to get help, real help, and do not consider yourself as qualified to deal with other's problems unless you are very sure of what you're doing and have really studied the issues
also reminder that while you cant love someone's mental illness away, you can love them trough it and with it. you can offer company, and try to understand, and show kindness. be aware of your own limits at every moment, for the things you cant do, and for the things that you can do
also reminder that while you cant love someone's mental illness away, you can love them trough it and with it. you can offer company, and try to understand, and show kindness. be aware of your own limits at every moment, for the things you cant do, and for the things that you can do
❤22👍1
socialization, relationship, trauma
"if you are dating someone who has been subjected to abuse/mistreatment, and you notice them idealizing the hell out of you for treating them w basic respect, dont take the ego boost. tell them that they are always ennoscriptd to basic kindness and respect in every relationship"
"if you are dating someone who has been subjected to abuse/mistreatment, and you notice them idealizing the hell out of you for treating them w basic respect, dont take the ego boost. tell them that they are always ennoscriptd to basic kindness and respect in every relationship"
❤14
trauma, self compassion
"as a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor i've ever had has at some point said "but i didnt have it as bad as some people" [...]
one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.
dont buy into it, because its nonsense. it doesnt matter if someone else had it "worse." every person who experienced a trauma deserves to get the attention and care then need to heal from it"
"as a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor i've ever had has at some point said "but i didnt have it as bad as some people" [...]
one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.
dont buy into it, because its nonsense. it doesnt matter if someone else had it "worse." every person who experienced a trauma deserves to get the attention and care then need to heal from it"
❤17👍2🔥2