adhd, neurodivergency, self compassion

"Executive dysfunction life hack

Instead of telling yourself, "i should get up," or "i should do this,"

Ask yourself, "When will i get up?" or "When will i be ready to do this?"

Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is manifestly bad at, listen to yourself with compassionate curiosity and be ready to receive the signal to move when it comes.

Things i did not actually realize was an option

Another thing that has been helpful for me personally has been, when my brain says, ‘I don't want to do that thing right now," i ask it, "Okay. Why not right now, specifically?"

Sometimes there's a reason, and that's cool, but sometimes my brain is like "... because?" And i am able to tell my brain it's full of nonsense and we do the thing."

self compassion, chores, society

"gentle reminder that the 40 hour work week is outdated and was designed with the assumption someone else was going to be always taking care of cooking, cleaning and household errands. it wasnt designed for you to be doing it all and if you're having a hard time, you're not a failure"

unscheduled reminder for everyone here that yes, you deserve to exist, and yes, it is okay that you do

socialization, art

"when an artist wants to show you their art

or a writer wants you to read what they've written

it's quite often an expression of trust

because a poem or a story or a painting are often things that come from the heart

little pieces of the artists themselves

and if they’re willing to share it with you

you should appreciate it

THANK GOD SOMEONE KNOWS BECAUSE i SWEAR TO GOD WHEN i SHOW IT TO PEOPLE THEY THINK IM BRAGGING"

art, self compassion

"creativity is like a muscle"

depression, neurodivergency, self compassion

"one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former gifted kid™ is that half assed is better than nothing

[...]

anything worth doing is worth doing poorly"

impostor syndrome, anxiety, socialization, self compassion

"what i know ; what i think others know || reality ; what others know"

anxiety, tumblr tigers

"the human stress response seems so maladaptative!
[...]
very very slow tigers are chasing me"

socialization, venting

"just bc someone gets vulnerable and wants your support, doesnt mean they lack awareness or coping strategies. sometimes they just need an outside perspective to validate a feeling or experience, see a blind spot, or feel not so alone in the process"

socialization, feelings

"my feelings are hurt and i need some time to process them so i can better communicate with you is a perfectly valid response"

unscheduled reminder that you cant love someone's mental illness away. it is hard as fuck to acknowledge and deal with that fact, but letting your own mental health be dragged to hell with that someone's is not gonna help any of you. if help is required, try to get help, real help, and do not consider yourself as qualified to deal with other's problems unless you are very sure of what you're doing and have really studied the issues

also reminder that while you cant love someone's mental illness away, you can love them trough it and with it. you can offer company, and try to understand, and show kindness. be aware of your own limits at every moment, for the things you cant do, and for the things that you can do

society, boundaries, socialization

"dont kneecap your sentences"

self compassion, abuse, emotions

"fuck anyone who says i have to forgive everyone"

abuse, gaslight

"sometimes people pretend you're a bad person so they dont feel guilty about the things they did to you"

self harm, behavior

"being suicidal doesnt necessarily mean you're holding a gun to your head"

parenting

"if you had a child by choice, you:
signed up for"

socialization, relationship, trauma

"if you are dating someone who has been subjected to abuse/mistreatment, and you notice them idealizing the hell out of you for treating them w basic respect, dont take the ego boost. tell them that they are always ennoscriptd to basic kindness and respect in every relationship"

trauma, self compassion

"as a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor i've ever had has at some point said "but i didnt have it as bad as some people" [...]


one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.

dont buy into it, because its nonsense. it doesnt matter if someone else had it "worse." every person who experienced a trauma deserves to get the attention and care then need to heal from it"

open collective "challenge":

say something nice about someone else in the comments (be mindful of triggering stuff), or, if you feel extra daring, try to say something nice about yourself

this message will never be "too old to reply to", you are invited to participate regardless of when you see it

socialization, feminism

"here's the thing:
men get sexually assaulted, men get abused, men have toxic gender stereotypes that they are expected to live up to. this is a problem, and i am more than willing to have discussions about this, and talk about what can/should be done to change these things etc, if you bring it up as its own topic.

however, if you bring these things up as an attempt to override discussions about women, i will not listen to you. if you really cared about men's issues you'd bring it up at other times, not only when we're discussing women. thats not you caring about men's issues, thats you not wanting to talk about women's issues because you want everything to be about men"

gender, labels, society, mental illness, neurodivergency

"autism is widely underdiagnosed in girls because women tend to present as quiet and reserved, which is just how women are supposed to be

personality disorders are underdiagnosed in men because they tend to present more explosively and involve more narcissistic behaviours, which is just how men are supposed to be"