self compassion, socialization, relationships, parenting

"im not sure if this will come out right but:

being loved is NOT a reward for being beneficial or useful in any way.
you dont become less deserving of being loved if you arent productive for a day or if you have a bad day and cant get out of bed

i promise. being loved has nothing to do with how you "help" the world or those around you"

impostor syndrome, intrusive thoughts

"Being a good person is a choice. Don’t let people fool you into believing that truly good people never have bad thoughts, are never tempted by the easier path, by the low road, never mess up or act out selfishly. Never believe a person can be good without making a conscious effort.

Every single time you do something good, you’ve made a decision to make the world a little brighter.

Goodness is not an inherent trait, it is a choice. Keep making it! I see you, I’m proud of you, and I’m rooting for you!"

mental health, language

"honestly i think one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is to separate your negative qualities from your identity

instead of saying "im lazy", saying "i've made a habit of not doing work unless its absolutely necessary". instead of saying "im a bad friend", saying "i havent communicated as much as i should with people i care about"

by being specific about your problems, and by framing it as an action that you are consciously either working on or ignoring rather than an unchangeable part of who you are, you allow yourself to accept your mistakes and work constructively on them instead of pretending they didnt happen or wallowing in blaming yourself"

language, relationships, socialization

"some of y'all still cant recognize the differences between platonic, romantic, sexual, mentor-student, and familial relationships, both in fiction and in reality, and it really shows

[...]
eros
filia
storge
ludus
agape
pragma
philautia
"

socialization, boundaries

"the weeknd said "i dont accept apologies. you did what made you happy at the expense of my emotions and i understand it but i wont respect it" "

healing, trauma, impostor syndrome

"it just occurred to me that many people are actually afraid to heal because their entire identity is centered around the trauma they've experienced. they have no idea who they are outside of trauma & that unknown can be terrifying"

self compassion, rest

" "all that matters is that u tried ur best"
me *instantly flashes back to every moment i procrastinated and wasted*
[...]
you cant work at full throttle 100% of the time
[...]
time off isnt an indulgence, its a necessity"

socialization, relationships, self compassion

"in therapy my therapist in i were talking about my own feelings of self worth in relationships. and she asked me to say qualities about myself that someone else would be attracted to. so i named some things like compassionate, empathetic, etc. and she said "you named things you can give someone. ways you can serve, rather than ways that you are" "

society

"calm down edgelords, the whole point of society is that its not survival of the fittest. literally the point is that we're leveraging our collective strenghts to lead to better outcomes for everyone. we've been doing it for a couple thousand years now

the survival strategy our species dumped all its points in is cooperation and community"

self compassion

"kurt vonnegut wrote: "when i was 15, i spent a month working on an archeological dig. i was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kind of "getting to know you" questions you ask young people: do you play sports? what is your favorite subject? and i told him, no i dont play any sports. i do theater, im in choir, i play the violin and piano, i used to take art classes.

and he went wow. thats amazing! and i said, "ob no, but im not any good at any of them."

and he said something then that i will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: "i dont think being good at things is the point of doing them. i think you've got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all theaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them." "

relationships

"idk who needs to hear this but trying to collect as many partners as you can with no regard for your ability to give enough time and energy to your current partners is not a healthy approach to polyamory"

socialization, boundaries

"friend
oh psh
its fine
you do you. i trust your choices

true friend
inhale
gurl."

society

"not disabled enough
right amount of disabled
too disabled"

#hard_to_transcribe

self compassion, trauma

"self gaslighting sounds like:"

healing, growth, trauma

"its okay if you thought you were over it but it hits you all over again.

its okay to fall apart even after you thought you had it under control

you are not weak. healing is messy. and there is no timeline for healing."

self compassion, healing

"re-parenting yourself re-victimizing yourself"

parenting

"i never want my kids to mess up and think "dads gonna kill me!"

i want their first thought to be "i need to call my dad" "