self compassion

"kurt vonnegut wrote: "when i was 15, i spent a month working on an archeological dig. i was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kind of "getting to know you" questions you ask young people: do you play sports? what is your favorite subject? and i told him, no i dont play any sports. i do theater, im in choir, i play the violin and piano, i used to take art classes.

and he went wow. thats amazing! and i said, "ob no, but im not any good at any of them."

and he said something then that i will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: "i dont think being good at things is the point of doing them. i think you've got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all theaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them." "

relationships

"idk who needs to hear this but trying to collect as many partners as you can with no regard for your ability to give enough time and energy to your current partners is not a healthy approach to polyamory"

socialization, boundaries

"friend
oh psh
its fine
you do you. i trust your choices

true friend
inhale
gurl."

society

"not disabled enough
right amount of disabled
too disabled"

#hard_to_transcribe

self compassion, trauma

"self gaslighting sounds like:"

healing, growth, trauma

"its okay if you thought you were over it but it hits you all over again.

its okay to fall apart even after you thought you had it under control

you are not weak. healing is messy. and there is no timeline for healing."

self compassion, healing

"re-parenting yourself re-victimizing yourself"

parenting

"i never want my kids to mess up and think "dads gonna kill me!"

i want their first thought to be "i need to call my dad" "

socialization, anxiety

"they may not be avoiding you"

socialization, boundaries

"if you cant handle me at my worst then you sure as hell deserve a break from me. my emotions are not ur responsability, and i understand that u need to care for ur own mental health, & if i threaten its stability, theres no need to feel guilty. i know u did ur best"

[tags?]

"you can be angry about things but still make the conscious decision not to be cruel. when we remind each other to be kind, we're not saying dont be mad. theres a lot of stuff to be mad about right now. but you can still be a kind and patient person. you dont have to be mean to other people. you can choose"

socialization, discrimination, minorities

"i want to debate this with you
i do not want to debate that"

unscheduled post:

an admin's friend is having economic issues, namely that their current job does not pay enough to afford medication and post-surgery extra costs (on top of the regular rent, electricity, insurance, phone/internet expenses). this post is an extraordinary promotion of that, so that people here can chime and help with it

always remember to only give what you dont need and never give any amount of money that could have an impact on your own life. at this point, literally any amount helps

thank you
https://ko-fi.com/aleixsamael

everyone here is welcome to share this post with whoever they consider appropriate

language, mental health, depression

"honestly the best thing i've done in the past year was replacing "i wanna die" with "i wanna commit a crime." same humor and sentiment without the suicidal ideation"

socialization

"thinking about how good friendship is... like two people just like each other... and choose over and over to spend time with each other"

abuse, trauma, impostor syndrome, parenting

"what people dont understand about abusive parents

what people dont understand about abusive parents is that we cant always hate them. we cant just constantly hate them because a lot of them are quite nice half the time

it makes it hard to hate them because its like "they've been horrible to me but they treated me to a present yesterday or a cute little chocolate bar so i'd me rude to hate them because of what the've done for me" and its destroys your mind because then people questions if they actually are abusive when you seem to like them at that time"

minorities, society

"one of my special interests is evolutionary biology and its honestly very soothing in a lot of ways. the idea that things come into being not because they were designed to be a certain way but because it happens that something they have works well enough for them to survive is calming. you cant be broken or wrong when there was no "correct" body and mind to conform to in the first place.

my body, my fat, my autism, my lesbianism, those are all things that just... are. there is no goal for my body to meet, and no standard to deviate from. its fine the way it is

as humans, we can define success in any way we want, but as long as im living and breathing, im doing fine as far as natural existence is concerned. things are too complicated and sprawling and random to fit into boxes, and its okay to exist however i happen to be"

next post will be a "spoilered image", which works the same as spoilered text, "tap/click to show". if you get a "telegram cant display this message" instead, you most likely need to update your telegram client

nswf image warning (cartoon, not photos)

body

"monthly breast check"

[reminder that both afab and amab people can get breast cancer, with and without hrt, and even post top surgery]