self compassion, rest, mental health, body

"taking care of yourself is productive."

body

"sometimes my body feels like a rented house
and that i shouldnt settle in
because soon, i'll be leaving out again

but when i get a tattoo, it feels like im painting the walls
and when i look at them, im reminded that this is more than a rental

i own this body
and its walls are mine"

#art_credit_missing

microwave, perspective

"you're hooked up to the internet and sentient. what do you think of life? bad? horrible?

i really like it

even with all the pain and suffering?

when you look at the night sky do you look at the stars or the space between them?"

#art_credit_missing

trannoscription
[1/2]

"i think we're kind of starting to get away from this but have y'all noticed how in the vast majority of popular media, sex scenes dont actually tend to involve a lot of talking/fumbling/awkwardness unless its for humor or to indicate that the people having sex are a.) probably wrong for eachother somehow or b.) inexperienced, possibly having sex for the first time?

but "good" sex, between people who are experienced and in love etc, is almost always effortlessly athletic and steamy and they somehow telepathically know exactly what to do. im not talking about knowing what their lover enjoys, thats entirely feasible, but they never even have to coordinate what they're doing. theres no "do you want me on top?" or "do you want me to do [x]?" or accidentally getting in each other's way.

the overwhelming message that i've always gotten from pop culture is that good sex happens without communication and, more dangerously, that needing to communicate is a sign that you're somehow bad at sex, when in reality thats almost definitely that you're, you know, a considerate partner who actually gives a shit about people being comfortable when they have sex with you

[2/2]

not only that but like, overwhelmingly sex in media is portrayed as this steamy, well-oiled, SERIOUS machine. like... wheres the fun?
pop culture seems to be obsessed with this communication-less pantomime of actual intimacy rather than the reality of intimacy going hand in hand with not only consideration but humour and mutual vulnerability.

sex is by nature so awkward and off it NEVER works the way you see in films or on tv. its never seamless and perfect and that is not a BAD THING.

you're not "doing it wrong" if you're having problems getting a good rhythm and keep messin' each other up by trying to help

you're not doing it wrong if you're laughing and talking and not taking it seriously

and additionally, and now this is a complete tangent from the original point here, but you're not doing it wrong if you dont manage to get off or get your partner off

sometimes sex is just the action and not the climax and thats COMPLETELY FINE. my partner and i struggled a LOT with this when we first started having sex because we both had terrible guilt when we couldnt reach climax or couldnt get the other off because we felt like that was what the whole point of sex was.

media puts a lot of PRESSURE on sex and what it looks like that shouldnt be there and its AWFUL.

the focus is just so... wrong"

body, chronic pain, self care

"{1} you motherfuckers better be lifting with your legs and not your back
{2}because i never knew what that really meant until my back already hurt:

wrong way to lift
right way to lift
"

drugs, substances
[this post is intended as harm reduction from somebody inexperienced, please be aware of your own context]

"the trip sitter code of ethics
1, im a "sitter" - not a guide. i wont interfere or attempt to "join" the experience
2. im in charge - but should only take control when completely necessary
3. i talk through challenging experiences - not down
4. everything that happens or is said remains confidential
5. i pass no judgement
6.i practice compassionate & active listening
7. i remain alert & vigilant to my surroundings
8. i have knowledge about the substances being used
9. i respect the boundaries of my participants
10. im empathetic to the needs of my participants
11. my participants are my sole attention - im not on my phone or preoccupied in any other way"

lgbt

"dear trans kids
its totally okay to name yourself after someone you admire. parents do it all the time, they name their kids after family members, friends, celebrities, anything. and you can do the same. you're not faking anything, and i love your name. it suits you."

rest, self compassion, society

"i dont know who needs to hear this but rest is not a reward. you dont have to earn rest. you need rest. you deserve rest. you are worthy of rest simply because you are a living being. and dont ever feel guilty for taking time to rest."

boundaries, socialization, emotional labor

"{1}explaining basic shit to you isnt worth my time and energy, random dude!

{2}but how am i supposed to learn anything if you wont devote hours of free labor to patiently spoon-feeding me knowledge while i spit it back out in your face???"

{art by tikva wolf}

relationships, socialization, trauma, patterns

"
"i have to keep you entertained (or turned on) so you dont turn on me or abandon me" is a mindset so familiar to so many complex trauma survivors that a lot of us dont even realize we're doing it in so many of our relationships"

trauma, boundaries, relationships, socialization, parenting

"your parents will beat you and rain emotional and verbal abuse. then they'll tell you that it's because they love you. you'll learn to see that as normal.

in the future, your partner will abuse you and tell you it's because he loves you. you wont be able to tell the difference."

socialization,

'stop telling people that no one will love them until they love themselves
stop planting the idea in people's brains that they are unworthy of love because of their own struggle'