boundaries, relationships, socialization

"Healthy Relationships

Accountability
·Admits mistakes (or when wrong)
·Accepts responsibility for behaviors, attitudes, & values

Trust
·Accepting each others word
·Giving the benefit of the doubt

Cooperation
·Asking not expecting
·Accepting change
·Making decisions together
·Willing to compromise
·Win win resolutions to conflict


Support
·Support each others choices
·Being understanding
·Offering encouragement
·Listening non-judgmentally
·Valuing opinions

Honesty
·Communicates openly and truthfully

Safety
·Refusing to intimidate or manipulate
·Respecting physical space
·Expressing self non-violently
"

trauma, growth, healing

"What we think healing will look like:
Meditating Peacefully

What healing actually looks like:
Unpacking Trauma

Having Difficult Conversations

Taking Radical Responsibility For Your Actions

Setting & Enforcing Boundaries

Implementing Healthy Routines"

socialization, boundaries

"peace of mind is much more important than proving a point"

#art_credit_missing

socialization, boundaries

"my parents told me "the problem with putting others first is you've taught them you come last" and that hit me hard"

unscheduled post:

forwarding a message to give it visibility
"[...] fill the form, there's only one page and a couple questions, so go for it - no big bureaucracy involved"

edit for extra explanation: "conversion therapies" refers to the extremely abusive places, often camps, that promise to turn gay kids heterosexual, trans youth into cis "normal, decent people" and sometimes other things like "curing autism"

Ban conversion therapies in Europe:
https://eci.ec.europa.eu/043/public/#/screen/home

growth, healing

"changing every "i should have known better" to "i know better now". i will not judge past versions of me through the lens of who i am now."

"My therapist told me yesterday: some people (esp family) will choose to remember & recognize only the version of you that they held the most power over, no matter how long it's been or how much you've changed.

And i cannot stop thinking about it."

growth, socialization, abusers

"you've changed

we're supposed to"

#art_credit_missing
#help_wanted

anxiety, growth, socialization

"accidently spent all my life making sure everyone around me feels comfortable, only to realize i never felt comfortable the whole time"

growth

"you're not too much

you're outgrowing all the people and places that try to keep you the same"

#art_credit_missing
#help_wanted

feminism, pink capitalism, society, gender roles

"advertisers must convince young women that they are in need of constant improvement without threatening young women's views of themselves as intelligent, self-directed, and equal. buzz words like "empowerment," self-determination," and "independence" are sprinkled liberally across their pages. but this seemingly progressive rhetoric is used to sell products and ideas that keep girls doing gender in appropriately feminine ways, leading them to reproduce, rather than challenge, gender hierarchies. an ad for a depilatory cream, for instance, tells girls that they are "unique, determined, and unstoppable," so they should not "settle... for a sandpaper skin." feminist demands for political and economic equality - and the refusal to settle for low-wages, violence, and second-class citizenship - morph into a refusal to settle for less than silky skin. pseudo-feminist language allows young women to believe that they can "empower" themselves at the checkout counter by buying the accountrements of traditional femininity"

anxiety, guilt, impostor syndrome

"does anyone else get a strong sense of guilt and shame from receiving *positive* attention?

yes! i took a seminar on shame once where the trainer told us that compliments often trigger shame in people who have experienced developmental trauma because compliments are discordant with our internal sense of self, causing us to feel as though we have committed deceit"

activism

"no offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you dont care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD"

"there is joy and nice things in this world, and if i cannot find one, i will make one.

i fucking refuse to live in a bleak and dark, loveless world. i cant stop evil from existing and theres scarce little i can do to comfort the people wounded by it, but i was given hands for making things, and if small comforts are all im capable of, i will fucking make them."

self care

"
"fed is best" applies to us non-baby people too

if your child will only eat chicken nuggets and yogurt: fed is best

if the only meal you had time for was from a drive-thru: fed is best

if a frozen pizza is all you could manage to cook in a day: fed is best

fast food is still food
convenience meals are still food
a bowl of cereal or a PB&J is still food

feeding ourselves (not to mention children!) can be difficult sometimes, so if you fed yourself today in some way: good job!"

society, authority figures

"i follow my grandmother's rule: its only a lie if they have a right to know"

family, abuse

"my therapist told me yesterday: some people (esp family) will choose to remember & recognize only the version of you that they held the most power over, no matter how long its been or how much you've changed"

guilt, self care

"tired of explaining that "i dont have the time" doesnt mean "literally every second of my schedule is accounted for", but rather "im giving as much of myself as im currently able to give""

rest, digital, mental health

"before the internet, you could receive maybe 1 or 2 pieces of bad news per day

but now you get to hear everyone's bad news from all over the world, 24/7

and that's not mentally healthy.

its important to take some time to shut off the phone, close the laptop, and just find somewhere nice to sit and relax"

{art by shen comix}