abuse, relationships

"you deserve connections that don't require you to walk on eggshells to get a point across. you deserve connections that don't require you to sacrifice your peace just to protect feelings or egos. you deserve connections that don't require you to distance your self, from yourself. "

invisible problems, self compassion, neurodivergency, society

"hard to swallow pills

you're not "lazy". your mental illness forces you to spend an enormous amount of energy just to keep yourself together. you work hard every day. even if the fruits of your labor aren't immediately obvious to everyone."

communication, good intentions

"one doesn't have to operate with great malice to do great harm

the absence of empathy & understanding are sufficient"

abuse, trauma, socialization, trauma reactions

"Emotional abuse works like this: You are screamed at, and then, not knowing any better, you stand up for yourself. You think this is a way of being strong. You think this is a defense tactic.But this only provokes more screaming. Going silent provokes more screaming too, but usually it keeps the threats to the minimum. It keeps it just at screaming and not: a shove down the stairs, or order to pack your stuff and get out. So you learn how to go silent. How to play dead. How to cry without making a noise. How to swallow noise. How to wipe your cheeks, get out of the car, and go about your day. You learn. And when the screaming has stopped, when the two of you are in the car or out to dinner and they’re all smiles, all asking for favors, all questions, you are still hurt and annoyed and want to ask them, how? How can you speak to me like that? How can you pretend you did not say those things? How can you have forgotten? But you’ve learned. So you listen to, "Can i borrow your key"s and "how was your day"s and you play dead. You swallow the noise. And sometimes it doesn’t matter who is speaking to you, it doesn’t matter if they’re a friend, it doesn’t matter if their criticism is constructive, it doesn’t matter. You’ve learned. Any sort of speaking, any raising of the voice, any insult and you play dead."

boundaries, relationships, socialization

"Healthy Relationships

Accountability
·Admits mistakes (or when wrong)
·Accepts responsibility for behaviors, attitudes, & values

Trust
·Accepting each others word
·Giving the benefit of the doubt

Cooperation
·Asking not expecting
·Accepting change
·Making decisions together
·Willing to compromise
·Win win resolutions to conflict


Support
·Support each others choices
·Being understanding
·Offering encouragement
·Listening non-judgmentally
·Valuing opinions

Honesty
·Communicates openly and truthfully

Safety
·Refusing to intimidate or manipulate
·Respecting physical space
·Expressing self non-violently
"

trauma, growth, healing

"What we think healing will look like:
Meditating Peacefully

What healing actually looks like:
Unpacking Trauma

Having Difficult Conversations

Taking Radical Responsibility For Your Actions

Setting & Enforcing Boundaries

Implementing Healthy Routines"

socialization, boundaries

"peace of mind is much more important than proving a point"

#art_credit_missing

socialization, boundaries

"my parents told me "the problem with putting others first is you've taught them you come last" and that hit me hard"

unscheduled post:

forwarding a message to give it visibility
"[...] fill the form, there's only one page and a couple questions, so go for it - no big bureaucracy involved"

edit for extra explanation: "conversion therapies" refers to the extremely abusive places, often camps, that promise to turn gay kids heterosexual, trans youth into cis "normal, decent people" and sometimes other things like "curing autism"

Ban conversion therapies in Europe:
https://eci.ec.europa.eu/043/public/#/screen/home

growth, healing

"changing every "i should have known better" to "i know better now". i will not judge past versions of me through the lens of who i am now."

"My therapist told me yesterday: some people (esp family) will choose to remember & recognize only the version of you that they held the most power over, no matter how long it's been or how much you've changed.

And i cannot stop thinking about it."

growth, socialization, abusers

"you've changed

we're supposed to"

#art_credit_missing
#help_wanted

anxiety, growth, socialization

"accidently spent all my life making sure everyone around me feels comfortable, only to realize i never felt comfortable the whole time"

growth

"you're not too much

you're outgrowing all the people and places that try to keep you the same"

#art_credit_missing
#help_wanted

feminism, pink capitalism, society, gender roles

"advertisers must convince young women that they are in need of constant improvement without threatening young women's views of themselves as intelligent, self-directed, and equal. buzz words like "empowerment," self-determination," and "independence" are sprinkled liberally across their pages. but this seemingly progressive rhetoric is used to sell products and ideas that keep girls doing gender in appropriately feminine ways, leading them to reproduce, rather than challenge, gender hierarchies. an ad for a depilatory cream, for instance, tells girls that they are "unique, determined, and unstoppable," so they should not "settle... for a sandpaper skin." feminist demands for political and economic equality - and the refusal to settle for low-wages, violence, and second-class citizenship - morph into a refusal to settle for less than silky skin. pseudo-feminist language allows young women to believe that they can "empower" themselves at the checkout counter by buying the accountrements of traditional femininity"

anxiety, guilt, impostor syndrome

"does anyone else get a strong sense of guilt and shame from receiving *positive* attention?

yes! i took a seminar on shame once where the trainer told us that compliments often trigger shame in people who have experienced developmental trauma because compliments are discordant with our internal sense of self, causing us to feel as though we have committed deceit"

activism

"no offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you dont care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD"