Plans for the night: slap her neon moon and brooks until I’m dunn

> When you realize this asshole in front of you is talking about you!

"I've changed my opinion about water. Water is based." - Admin #1

So, the obscene and blasphemous Olympics opening ceremony show in Paris was put together by a gay Jew. Here's the real hidden secret though - the disgusting Fr*nch hired that guy because they knew exactly what they would get from him. Those filthy, disgusting animals need to be kept under the boot of an apathetic aristocracy. Undo the French Revolution and put the Bourbons back on the Throne NOW.

"Hey honey, I'll be back in an hour or two, just running to the store for a couple errands."
"Ok, grab milk too!"
>leaves
>goes directly to the casino for blackjack
>stays for nearly 2 hours
>pops in the gas station on the way home to grab milk
"We need to consider moving. I stopped to get gas on the way home and someone stole 500$ worth of groceries out of the car! I had to get this gas station milk, sorry honey."
"Atleast you aren't hurt!"


Follow me for more life-hacks.

“Holy Mother, why are you weeping? Holy Mother, why are you sad?"

Th’immortal words from the band Alabama

“I’m in a hurry
To get things done
Oh, I rush ‘n rush
until life’s no fun
All I really gotta do
Is live and die
I’m in a hurry
And don’t know why”

He's literally me

Thinkin about energy drinks