"Hey honey, I'll be back in an hour or two, just running to the store for a couple errands."
"Ok, grab milk too!"
>leaves
>goes directly to the casino for blackjack
>stays for nearly 2 hours
>pops in the gas station on the way home to grab milk
"We need to consider moving. I stopped to get gas on the way home and someone stole 500$ worth of groceries out of the car! I had to get this gas station milk, sorry honey."
"Atleast you aren't hurt!"


Follow me for more life-hacks.

“Holy Mother, why are you weeping? Holy Mother, why are you sad?"

Th’immortal words from the band Alabama

“I’m in a hurry
To get things done
Oh, I rush ‘n rush
until life’s no fun
All I really gotta do
Is live and die
I’m in a hurry
And don’t know why”

He's literally me

Thinkin about energy drinks

Fuckin bullshit

Giga Jar Jar

@CokeMemes