When I was ten-years-old, I saw two dogs shagging in the street and asked my Mum what they were doing.

“Dancing,” she replied.

The first school dance I went to, I got fucking expelled.


@FaaaQ

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody Knows.


@FaaaQ

What does a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common?
They're both thinking "oh shit my mom's gonna kill me!"



@FaaaQ

If someone calls you a nobody, just remember

Nobody's perfect.

@FaaaQ

Lovely meaningful dialogues.

You know the razor blade works when there's no reviews on amazon.


@FaaaQ

The essence of Dota.

So, one day hitler goes to visit one of the camps, Upon arrival he requests, that all who are there gather and stand in a line.

He menacingly walks up to the first one and starts mustering him carefully. Then he proceeds to ask him a question:
"Tell me, how high can you jump?"

Taken aback by this sudden question, the prisoner answers stutteringly:
"Oh... umm... somwhere around one meter... I think?"

"Aha", answers Hitler, turns around to the camps leader who is following him, and commands: "Give zis man an additional piece of bread tomorrow morning!"

"Jawohl, mein Führer", answers the leader, while wondering about this sudden stroke of generosity.

Hitler meanwhile walks up to the next person in the line, and asks him the same question:
"How high can you jump?"

"Two meters", is the answer.

Hitler turns around to the camp leader again, and commands:
"Give zis man TWO additional pieces of bread tomorrow morning!"

"Mein Führer, are you sure about this? I mean-", but before he can finnish his doubts, Hitler cuts him of:
"Did you not listen? Give him two additional pieces tomorrow morning!"

"Jawohl, mein Führer"

Then Hitler proceeds to the next person in line, only to ask the same question again:
"And you? How high can you jump?"

The prisoner, seeing a pattern, answers:
"Five meters. Or six, if I really put myself into it."

Hitler slowly turns around to the camps leader:
"About zis man here..."

"Yes? Five pieces of bread? or six?"

"What? No! Zat would be ridiculous. Shoot him in ze head. He jumps high enough to get over ze fences."

@FaaaQ