Did you guys know that Jaiden Animations helped write a diary of a wimpy kid book? Look up Jaiden Animations Dog Days to find out more.

Just told my 10yo daughter about #stephenbreyer She had tears in her eyes. And then she did the Wakanda pose and said "#breyerkanda forever" -- which is the sort of pop culture cross-over that I can celebrate.

If Putin doesn’t chill I may have to get involved

NATO has declared a no-bitches zone over your exact location.

Jacksonian Democrats: *destroy the economy*
Jacksonian Democrats: “How could the whigs do this?”

Friendly reminder that Margaret Thatcher has been dead for 9 years.

I can fix her

haha what a funny video, let’s put a GTA 5 stunts video behind it

y’all remember Flappy Bird

zelensky: do you need a ride out of there
boris: no, i need ammunition

Shinzo Abe just died? Wow. I didn’t know that, you’re telling me now for the first time. He led an amazing life. What else can you say. Whether you agreed or not, he was an amazing man who led an amazing life. I am actually sad to hear that.

In honor of Shinzo Abe's memory I will be denying this ever happened

God gives his achiest tummies to his bravest boys

dry ass lips

mr. gorbachev, tear up this pussy

>meets Liz Truss
>dies

HALDEMAN: he said "death con 3 on the Jewish people"
NIXON: And is this bluster? Is the fellow serious?
KISSINGER: [weary rattle] it would appear to be bluster though of course there are precedents
HALDEMAN: [mumbling]
NIXON: That Life of Pablo was quite good

Talking to my 82 year old mom about all the news of Trump. She interrupted me and said, “Hoss, the only way I can stomach to watch that pre-death bloated Mango Mussolini on the news is with my resting bitch face applied and a glass of wine at the ready!”
Holy Wisdom Shit Balls

Jared Diamond molested me and blamed it on geography

He was just indicted? Wow. I didn’t know that. You’re telling me now for the first time. He led an amazing life. What else can you say? He was an amazing man. Whether you agreed or not, he was an amazing man who led an amazing life. I’m actually saddened to hear that.

[youth pastor voice] you know who else was arrested the week before Easter?