Shinzo Abe just died? Wow. I didn’t know that, you’re telling me now for the first time. He led an amazing life. What else can you say. Whether you agreed or not, he was an amazing man who led an amazing life. I am actually sad to hear that.

In honor of Shinzo Abe's memory I will be denying this ever happened

God gives his achiest tummies to his bravest boys

dry ass lips

mr. gorbachev, tear up this pussy

>meets Liz Truss
>dies

HALDEMAN: he said "death con 3 on the Jewish people"
NIXON: And is this bluster? Is the fellow serious?
KISSINGER: [weary rattle] it would appear to be bluster though of course there are precedents
HALDEMAN: [mumbling]
NIXON: That Life of Pablo was quite good

Talking to my 82 year old mom about all the news of Trump. She interrupted me and said, “Hoss, the only way I can stomach to watch that pre-death bloated Mango Mussolini on the news is with my resting bitch face applied and a glass of wine at the ready!”
Holy Wisdom Shit Balls

Jared Diamond molested me and blamed it on geography

He was just indicted? Wow. I didn’t know that. You’re telling me now for the first time. He led an amazing life. What else can you say? He was an amazing man. Whether you agreed or not, he was an amazing man who led an amazing life. I’m actually saddened to hear that.

[youth pastor voice] you know who else was arrested the week before Easter?

hey peter, install counter strike source

Range Safety: Let him cook

I'll bet anyone $10 million dollars that the US does not enter hyperinflation

You watching succession meanwhile your bitch givin me a suck session

Pat Robertson: Dead
Sleeper Agent Brett: Activated
Donald Trump: Indicted

Trust the plan

What if George Floyd was on the submarine?

Gorsuch normally: it’s completely within an employer’s rights to castrate any employee
Gorsuch on reservation law: I am issuing this ruling from Piscataway land

“it's hot" "i'm burning up" "the smoke from the fires makes it hard to breathe" imagine how rbg feels

yooo I won the lottery, all I had to do was wire them the transfer fee

oh sorry I’ll unfollow him right away I was a fan of his boulder rolling but I never knew about him betraying zeus or tricking thanatos and persephone