I never would’ve watched Pippi Longstocking had I known she would grow up to be the idiot press secretary for Joe Biden.

Can someone please help me open this cage?

I was in California recently to visit the Queen Mary. He's very upset about his recall.

A virus that attacks all five senses, the equilibrium, the muscles, the heart, lungs and brain and is highly communicable? Sounds like the prefect weapon. Thanks China! Hey, do you know where I can get 500 paper plates for $2?

How many water-dropping planes and helicopters to combat the annually expected wildfires could the state of California buy with the billions of dollars the state spends on illegal immigrants so Democrats can keep getting elected in perpetuity?

Do people in California love losing everything in a wildfire as much as people in Chicago love being murdered? #keepvotingdemocrat

Why use a pandemic to win one election when you can use it to win two?

Is Kamala Harris doing a Barack Obama impersonation or is Barack Obama doing a Kamala Harris impersonation?

Why hasn’t the Biden administration mandated leeches yet?

Where do I apply for a job as one of the Biden administration’s experts?

Experts say Joe Biden has dementia. Joe Biden is also corrupt studies show.

Nancy Pelosi only tells lies when she’s awake experts say.

Democrats will use Covid to steal the 2022 elections studies show.

Joe Biden drives an 18-wheeler but Hunter stole 14 of the wheels and sold them for crack.

Why does Joe Biden’s face look like someone stepped on it with golf cleats?

You need to wear a mask until there’s a cure for death experts say.

How long until they start blaming President Trump for the vaccine Joe Biden’s been taking credit for?

Are you happy you got your $500 Child Tax Credit while Joe Biden gets a Child Tax Credit of $500,000 per painting?

Chris Cuomo attacking Ron DeSantis is like Mohamed Atta’s brother attacking Sully Sullenberger.