Forwarded from Sheikh Saleh al-Usaymi | English
The greatest of people in wrongdoing in denying the rights – after the rights of Allah and His Messenger ﷺ – are two: a child disobedient to their parents and a student dismissing of their teacher.
أعظم الخلق جُرمًا إذا منع حقًا - بعد حقَّ الله ورسوله ﷺ- اثنان: ولدُ عقْ والدا، ومتعلّمُ جحد معلَّمًا.
أعظم الخلق جُرمًا إذا منع حقًا - بعد حقَّ الله ورسوله ﷺ- اثنان: ولدُ عقْ والدا، ومتعلّمُ جحد معلَّمًا.
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The Way to be Dutiful to the Parents
Honoring the parents is by:
● obeying them in what they command as long it does not involve something impermissible.
● giving precedence to their command over supererogatory acts.
● abstaining from what they forbid.
● spending upon them.
● taking care of their needs.
● doing one's utmost in caring for them.
● dealing with them with the correct conduct and mannerism and showing them respect. The child should not raise his voice to them, stare at them or call them by their names. He should walk behind them and be patient if they do anything that he dislikes.
{P.33 of The Rights of the PARENTS In Light of the Quran and the Sunnah -Shaykh Muhammad Ibn'Umar Bāzmūl.}
Honoring the parents is by:
● obeying them in what they command as long it does not involve something impermissible.
● giving precedence to their command over supererogatory acts.
● abstaining from what they forbid.
● spending upon them.
● taking care of their needs.
● doing one's utmost in caring for them.
● dealing with them with the correct conduct and mannerism and showing them respect. The child should not raise his voice to them, stare at them or call them by their names. He should walk behind them and be patient if they do anything that he dislikes.
{P.33 of The Rights of the PARENTS In Light of the Quran and the Sunnah -Shaykh Muhammad Ibn'Umar Bāzmūl.}
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One of the biggest thieves that steals children's childhood in the modern period is screen time.
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Separated in duniya united in Jannah
💫⭐️🫀
"A daughter sees her father as her first protector, her greatest hero, and her constant cheerleader."
#father #fatherdaughter #daughter
💫⭐️🫀
"A daughter sees her father as her first protector, her greatest hero, and her constant cheerleader."
#father #fatherdaughter #daughter
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The First Thing You Must Teach Your Children is TAWHEED
Ummu Sulaim (radiallaahu 'anha) would teach her son Anas (radiyallaahu 'anhu), saying:
"Say: 'Laa illaaha il Allah (none has the right to be worshipped in truth except Allāh)
Say: 'Ash-hadu anna Muhammadar
Rasulullaah (I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allāh) ""
This was BEFORE the age of weaning.
[Siyar A'laam an-Nubalaa (2/305)]
Ummu Sulaim (radiallaahu 'anha) would teach her son Anas (radiyallaahu 'anhu), saying:
"Say: 'Laa illaaha il Allah (none has the right to be worshipped in truth except Allāh)
Say: 'Ash-hadu anna Muhammadar
Rasulullaah (I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allāh) ""
This was BEFORE the age of weaning.
[Siyar A'laam an-Nubalaa (2/305)]
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اللهُم عافية تُصاحب أُمي وأَبي كـظلهم
Oh Allāh, bless my mother and father with well-being that will accompany them like their shadow.
و أكرمهم بِـجنة عرضها السماوات والأرض، يُخيَّرون بين أبوابها
And honor them with a paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, let them choose between its gates.
آمين يا ربّ
Oh Allāh, bless my mother and father with well-being that will accompany them like their shadow.
و أكرمهم بِـجنة عرضها السماوات والأرض، يُخيَّرون بين أبوابها
And honor them with a paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, let them choose between its gates.
آمين يا ربّ
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#Mother
The first woman in your life was your mother. When your wife comes along, take care of her and treat her well,but don't forget the woman that got you to this point. She has a great right over you, don't neglect her!
https://x.com/ksa_dawah/status/1563905916386385927?s=20
The first woman in your life was your mother. When your wife comes along, take care of her and treat her well,but don't forget the woman that got you to this point. She has a great right over you, don't neglect her!
https://x.com/ksa_dawah/status/1563905916386385927?s=20
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Dont SCREAM at ur child, speak to them using gentle speech & kind words:
How often is it that when our children misbehave we tend to lash out, to shout, to SCREAM to speak in an abrupt and maybe even cold manner...? I came across this ayah in the Quran where Allah says:
“Go, both of you, to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed. And speak to him with GENTLE SPEECH he may be reminded or fear [Allah].”
Qur'an [Surah Taha: 20:44]
How terrible and arrogant was Firawn? How evil was his treatment of the Banu-Israel? How he turned his face in contempt towards Allah? He was the most insolent & arrogant person of his time.
Despite all this, Allah orders Musa (alaihis salaam) & Haroon (alaihis salam) to speak to him in a gentle and kind manner, just in case he might come around and believe.
There is an important lesson here on how you should treat difficult people & those headed in the wrong direction. Especially our own children when they do or say things that are contrary to what you've taught them.
Just like you don't appreciate people talking down to you, your approach needs to be one of love and concern regardless of the behaviour of your child. The manner in which you speak to a CHILD is often times more important and more impactful than what you say!
Its not WHAT you say, its HOW you say it...so STOP SCREAMING at ur child & speak kindly & gentle like a close friend.
How often is it that when our children misbehave we tend to lash out, to shout, to SCREAM to speak in an abrupt and maybe even cold manner...? I came across this ayah in the Quran where Allah says:
“Go, both of you, to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed. And speak to him with GENTLE SPEECH he may be reminded or fear [Allah].”
Qur'an [Surah Taha: 20:44]
How terrible and arrogant was Firawn? How evil was his treatment of the Banu-Israel? How he turned his face in contempt towards Allah? He was the most insolent & arrogant person of his time.
Despite all this, Allah orders Musa (alaihis salaam) & Haroon (alaihis salam) to speak to him in a gentle and kind manner, just in case he might come around and believe.
There is an important lesson here on how you should treat difficult people & those headed in the wrong direction. Especially our own children when they do or say things that are contrary to what you've taught them.
Just like you don't appreciate people talking down to you, your approach needs to be one of love and concern regardless of the behaviour of your child. The manner in which you speak to a CHILD is often times more important and more impactful than what you say!
Its not WHAT you say, its HOW you say it...so STOP SCREAMING at ur child & speak kindly & gentle like a close friend.
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The sad reality is that we do have time for social media, friends and personal interests, yet no time for family.
Let us make the time to visit those who we keep close in our hearts, yet far from our sight. Let us remove the hatred, jealousy, pride and arrogance from our hearts and instead of sending that 'make me maaf' message rather visit the loved one who we may be estranged from. Let us never forget the ones who are old now, yet sacrificed their youth to raise us. Let us remember that this temporary journey begins and ends with family.
May the Almighty unite those parents with their children as their tired eyes, broken heart and restless soul yearn to see their children and grandchildren. May we be blessed with unity, love and happiness.-Naadira Chhipa
Let us make the time to visit those who we keep close in our hearts, yet far from our sight. Let us remove the hatred, jealousy, pride and arrogance from our hearts and instead of sending that 'make me maaf' message rather visit the loved one who we may be estranged from. Let us never forget the ones who are old now, yet sacrificed their youth to raise us. Let us remember that this temporary journey begins and ends with family.
May the Almighty unite those parents with their children as their tired eyes, broken heart and restless soul yearn to see their children and grandchildren. May we be blessed with unity, love and happiness.-Naadira Chhipa
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AVOIDING UNNECESSARY PRESSURE
1. Put your kids in
schools you can afford
because expensive
schools don't
guarantee good
results. Just ensure
they attend a good
affordable school
2. Rent apartments you
can pay for
conveniently. Don’t live
in a house you struggle
to pay yearly.
3. Let’s plan our lives and
live within our means.
Save more and spend
less.
4. Some women buy food
for their children every
morning before going
to school or even for
the whole family, do
you know it’s cheaper
to cook at home?
5. Some people don’t
earn much, but have
DSTV at home, go for
GOTV and upgrade
when your income
upgrades. It’s still the
same CNN anyway!
6. Eat healthy meals and
protect your family
from mosquitoes to
avoid going to the
hospital always.
7. Take advantage of
food and fruits in
season, its cheaper
and you can be
creative to create
amazing meals.
8.Don’t copy your
neighbor’s lifestyle,
she earns well and her
husband is a ‘big
man’
9. Don’t follow trends,
wear clean well-
ironed clothes and
keep your hair neat.
You would still look
good.
10. Keep your circle
small, keep only
friends that have
senses!
11. Above all things, have
the fear of God, have
integrity, don’t be lazy
and be prayerful.
12. Planning is the key, if
you fail to plan, you
PS:Ifplan to FAIL.
13. Don't do more than
your budget this
Time, there is no
award given to best
family that wore an
expensive cloth for
the year
14.Don't be in
competition with
anyone...
The purpose of shoes
and clothes are to
make us smart and
good.
1. Put your kids in
schools you can afford
because expensive
schools don't
guarantee good
results. Just ensure
they attend a good
affordable school
2. Rent apartments you
can pay for
conveniently. Don’t live
in a house you struggle
to pay yearly.
3. Let’s plan our lives and
live within our means.
Save more and spend
less.
4. Some women buy food
for their children every
morning before going
to school or even for
the whole family, do
you know it’s cheaper
to cook at home?
5. Some people don’t
earn much, but have
DSTV at home, go for
GOTV and upgrade
when your income
upgrades. It’s still the
same CNN anyway!
6. Eat healthy meals and
protect your family
from mosquitoes to
avoid going to the
hospital always.
7. Take advantage of
food and fruits in
season, its cheaper
and you can be
creative to create
amazing meals.
8.Don’t copy your
neighbor’s lifestyle,
she earns well and her
husband is a ‘big
man’
9. Don’t follow trends,
wear clean well-
ironed clothes and
keep your hair neat.
You would still look
good.
10. Keep your circle
small, keep only
friends that have
senses!
11. Above all things, have
the fear of God, have
integrity, don’t be lazy
and be prayerful.
12. Planning is the key, if
you fail to plan, you
PS:Ifplan to FAIL.
13. Don't do more than
your budget this
Time, there is no
award given to best
family that wore an
expensive cloth for
the year
14.Don't be in
competition with
anyone...
The purpose of shoes
and clothes are to
make us smart and
good.
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◾️ Where Are You (O Parents), Regarding Your Children? ◾️
بســـم اللــه الرحــمــن الـرحـــيــم
Excerp from Shaykh Saalih Ibnu Fawzaan Al-Fawzaan حفظه الله
📤 Benefit:
The worldly school year has begun, and parents are focused on getting their children into schools. Fathers even go so far as to drive their children to school themselves, or hire drivers, or buy them cars to get there. They've taken care of their worldly concerns, (but what about their spiritual well-being?) Do they check on their children if they're late for the salah at the mosque? Do they ensure their children are learning beneficial religious knowledge, either from them or from righteous individuals? Do they take them to gatherings of Dhikru (remembrance of Allaah)?
While their concern for their children's worldly education and academic success is good – there's no blame in that – it shouldn't be limited to just this. What is more important and obligatory is taking them to the masjid, to religious lessons, and protecting them from bad companions and harmful influences. While evil ideas are spreading now, drugs and alcohol are prevalent. Thus, where are you o (parents), regarding your children?
_
Translated by :
Abu Juwayriyah Nūruddīn ibn Sulaymān حفظه الله
بســـم اللــه الرحــمــن الـرحـــيــم
Excerp from Shaykh Saalih Ibnu Fawzaan Al-Fawzaan حفظه الله
📤 Benefit:
The worldly school year has begun, and parents are focused on getting their children into schools. Fathers even go so far as to drive their children to school themselves, or hire drivers, or buy them cars to get there. They've taken care of their worldly concerns, (but what about their spiritual well-being?) Do they check on their children if they're late for the salah at the mosque? Do they ensure their children are learning beneficial religious knowledge, either from them or from righteous individuals? Do they take them to gatherings of Dhikru (remembrance of Allaah)?
While their concern for their children's worldly education and academic success is good – there's no blame in that – it shouldn't be limited to just this. What is more important and obligatory is taking them to the masjid, to religious lessons, and protecting them from bad companions and harmful influences. While evil ideas are spreading now, drugs and alcohol are prevalent. Thus, where are you o (parents), regarding your children?
_
Translated by :
Abu Juwayriyah Nūruddīn ibn Sulaymān حفظه الله
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MUST READ: A SILENT TRAGEDY!
There is a silent tragedy that is unfolding today in our homes, and concerns our most precious jewels: our children. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! In the last 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions:
Statistics do not lie:
• 1 in 5 children have mental health problems
• A 43% increase in ADHD has been noted
• A 37% increase in adolescent depression has been noted
• There has been a 200% increase in the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14
What is happening and what are we doing wrong?
Today's children are being over-stimulated and over-gifted with material objects, but they are deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:
• Emotionally available parents
• Clearly defined limits
• Responsibilities
• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
• Movement in general but especially outdoors
• Creative play, social interaction, unstructured game opportunities and boredom spaces
Instead, in recent years, children have been filled with:
• Digitally distracted parents
• Indulgent and permissive parents who let children "rule the world" and whoever sets the rules
• A sense of right, of deserving everything without earning it or being responsible for obtaining it
• Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
• A sedentary lifestyle
• Endless stimulation, technological nannies, instant gratification and absence of boring moments
What to do?
If we want our children to be happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and get back to basics. It is still possible! Many families see immediate improvements after weeks of implementing the following recommendations:
• Set limits and remember that you are the captain of the ship. Your children will feel more confident knowing that you have control of the helm.
• Offer children a balanced lifestyle full of what children NEED, not just what they WANT. Don't be afraid to say "no" to your children if what they want is not what they need.
• Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.
• Spend at least one hour a day outdoors doing activities such as: cycling, walking, fishing, bird / insect watching
• Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or distracting technology.
• Play board games as a family or if children are very small for board games, get carried away by their interests and allow them to rule in the game
• Involve your children in some homework or household chores according to their age (folding clothes, ordering toys, hanging clothes, unpacking food, setting the table, feeding the dog etc.)
• Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure your child gets enough sleep. The schedules will be even more important for school-age children.
• Teach responsibility and independence. Do not overprotect them against all frustration or mistakes. Misunderstanding will help them build resilience and learn to overcome life's challenges,
• Do not carry your children's backpack, do not carry their backpacks, do not carry the homework they forgot, do not peel bananas or peel oranges if they can do it on their own (4-5 years). Instead of giving them the fish, teach them to fish.
• Teach them to wait and delay gratification.
• Provide opportunities for "boredom", since boredom is the moment when creativity awakens. Do not feel responsible for always keeping children entertained.
• Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it at the first second of inactivity.
• Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping centers. Use these moments as opportunities to socialize by training the brains to know how to work when they are in mode: "boredom"
• Help them create a "bottle of boredom" with activity ideas for when they are bored.
There is a silent tragedy that is unfolding today in our homes, and concerns our most precious jewels: our children. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! In the last 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions:
Statistics do not lie:
• 1 in 5 children have mental health problems
• A 43% increase in ADHD has been noted
• A 37% increase in adolescent depression has been noted
• There has been a 200% increase in the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14
What is happening and what are we doing wrong?
Today's children are being over-stimulated and over-gifted with material objects, but they are deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:
• Emotionally available parents
• Clearly defined limits
• Responsibilities
• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
• Movement in general but especially outdoors
• Creative play, social interaction, unstructured game opportunities and boredom spaces
Instead, in recent years, children have been filled with:
• Digitally distracted parents
• Indulgent and permissive parents who let children "rule the world" and whoever sets the rules
• A sense of right, of deserving everything without earning it or being responsible for obtaining it
• Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
• A sedentary lifestyle
• Endless stimulation, technological nannies, instant gratification and absence of boring moments
What to do?
If we want our children to be happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and get back to basics. It is still possible! Many families see immediate improvements after weeks of implementing the following recommendations:
• Set limits and remember that you are the captain of the ship. Your children will feel more confident knowing that you have control of the helm.
• Offer children a balanced lifestyle full of what children NEED, not just what they WANT. Don't be afraid to say "no" to your children if what they want is not what they need.
• Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.
• Spend at least one hour a day outdoors doing activities such as: cycling, walking, fishing, bird / insect watching
• Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or distracting technology.
• Play board games as a family or if children are very small for board games, get carried away by their interests and allow them to rule in the game
• Involve your children in some homework or household chores according to their age (folding clothes, ordering toys, hanging clothes, unpacking food, setting the table, feeding the dog etc.)
• Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure your child gets enough sleep. The schedules will be even more important for school-age children.
• Teach responsibility and independence. Do not overprotect them against all frustration or mistakes. Misunderstanding will help them build resilience and learn to overcome life's challenges,
• Do not carry your children's backpack, do not carry their backpacks, do not carry the homework they forgot, do not peel bananas or peel oranges if they can do it on their own (4-5 years). Instead of giving them the fish, teach them to fish.
• Teach them to wait and delay gratification.
• Provide opportunities for "boredom", since boredom is the moment when creativity awakens. Do not feel responsible for always keeping children entertained.
• Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it at the first second of inactivity.
• Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping centers. Use these moments as opportunities to socialize by training the brains to know how to work when they are in mode: "boredom"
• Help them create a "bottle of boredom" with activity ideas for when they are bored.
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• Be emotionally available to connect with children and teach them self-regulation and social skills:
• Turn off the phones at night when children have to go to bed to avoid digital distraction.
• Become a regulator or emotional trainer for your children. Teach them to recognize and manage their own frustrations and anger.
• Teach them to greet, to take turns, to share without running out of anything, to say thank you and please, to acknowledge the error and apologize (do not force them), be a model of all those values you instill.
• Connect emotionally - smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, play or crawl with them.
Article written by Dr. Luis Rojas Marcos Psychiatrist.
#parenting
• Turn off the phones at night when children have to go to bed to avoid digital distraction.
• Become a regulator or emotional trainer for your children. Teach them to recognize and manage their own frustrations and anger.
• Teach them to greet, to take turns, to share without running out of anything, to say thank you and please, to acknowledge the error and apologize (do not force them), be a model of all those values you instill.
• Connect emotionally - smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, play or crawl with them.
Article written by Dr. Luis Rojas Marcos Psychiatrist.
#parenting
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