Revive this Sunnah
Hadith on Kids:
Anas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, would visit the homes of the Ansar, greet their children with peace, pat their heads, and supplicate on their behalf.
Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá lil-Nasā’ī 8028
Hadith on Kids:
Anas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, would visit the homes of the Ansar, greet their children with peace, pat their heads, and supplicate on their behalf.
Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá lil-Nasā’ī 8028
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A conversation between me and a non-Muslim acquaintance on parenting:
She asked me, "I know that you're raising your kids without TV, without daycare or nannies or public school. You're homeschooling, which is fine...But how can you expect your kids to have an understanding of the world if they only see the world through your eyes? You can absolutely control what they see and how they interpret things, but that puts them at a disadvantage when they do get out into the real world."
My response: I get what you're saying. I hear this exact question raised routinely by my MIL, lol. Sheltering bad, exposure good.
The answer is this: It all has to do with timing. WHEN do I plan to shelter my kids, and for how long? When do I plan to expose my kids, and how?
My hope is to shelter my kids in the first stage of life, showing them the world through my lens (every parent's right and prerogative as a parent!). I want to set a solid foundation for them of truth, strong character, good morals, refined manners, gracious and kind social etiquette, the rules governing interactions with people, etc. I feel like some parents (of course not all!) leave this crucial work of character-building and instilling of values for others to take care of: sometimes TV/Hollywood/ Disney, other times nannies/ daycare/ babysitters, or teachers at school, etc.
Again, I'm not knocking other families' lifestyles or decisions. To each their own. But for my own kids, I'd like to be the one to teach my kids these ideas and instill in them these important values, especially early on as their personalities and habits and thoughts form. I don't want my young, innocent kids exposed to the vulgarities of modern life just yet, as infants, toddlers, and young children. I want to shelter them AT THIS AGE from foul language/ swearing/ cursing, vulgar or sexualized images that are increasingly available on devices (esp of other kids/ older kids, etc), and from bad manners, such as other kids disrespecting their parents or brazenly mocking or disobeying their elders. Call me old school. I don't want my young kids learning any of these types of behaviors. I don't want them even witnessing them at this age. Seeing the same thing repeatedly leads to overexposure and desensitization and utter apathy.
Then, as the kids get older, the sheltering slowly gives way to more exposure, in incremental steps. I talk to them more and more about other people and what they do, what they believe and why, and the differences between people. We are already in this stage now, especially with my older 2 kids. We talk A LOT about incidents that we see while we're out and about, at the park / mall/ play date/ library/ store. They ask their endless questions and I answer and explain, explain, explain.
Then, as they enter their teenage years and older, of course they will branch out and do their own thing. No more influence from mom or dad. In fact, they might to try and distance themselves from us as adolescence sets in (sad but often true).
I want to expose them to the "real world," to very different people and practices and beliefs, but gradually, carefully, when they can process it without internalizing it as the default. Without the dogma of the "real world" becoming normative. I want to first give them a pure lens through which to see the realities of the "real world."
I will teach them about the world and its vastness, but on my terms. Not the world's. I want to expose them to things they will later encounter, but to warn them of the pitfalls that lay ahead and to guide them through them. To point out to them the potential problems so that they might avoid them, instead of falling face first into them.
I certainly have heard of the case of the overly-strict parent of the overly-sheltered kid, who goes nuts the first time he is loosed upon the "real world." Usually this type of scenario involves a kid leaving home for the first time ever and going to college with zero knowledge of what to expect or how to navigate it.
She asked me, "I know that you're raising your kids without TV, without daycare or nannies or public school. You're homeschooling, which is fine...But how can you expect your kids to have an understanding of the world if they only see the world through your eyes? You can absolutely control what they see and how they interpret things, but that puts them at a disadvantage when they do get out into the real world."
My response: I get what you're saying. I hear this exact question raised routinely by my MIL, lol. Sheltering bad, exposure good.
The answer is this: It all has to do with timing. WHEN do I plan to shelter my kids, and for how long? When do I plan to expose my kids, and how?
My hope is to shelter my kids in the first stage of life, showing them the world through my lens (every parent's right and prerogative as a parent!). I want to set a solid foundation for them of truth, strong character, good morals, refined manners, gracious and kind social etiquette, the rules governing interactions with people, etc. I feel like some parents (of course not all!) leave this crucial work of character-building and instilling of values for others to take care of: sometimes TV/Hollywood/ Disney, other times nannies/ daycare/ babysitters, or teachers at school, etc.
Again, I'm not knocking other families' lifestyles or decisions. To each their own. But for my own kids, I'd like to be the one to teach my kids these ideas and instill in them these important values, especially early on as their personalities and habits and thoughts form. I don't want my young, innocent kids exposed to the vulgarities of modern life just yet, as infants, toddlers, and young children. I want to shelter them AT THIS AGE from foul language/ swearing/ cursing, vulgar or sexualized images that are increasingly available on devices (esp of other kids/ older kids, etc), and from bad manners, such as other kids disrespecting their parents or brazenly mocking or disobeying their elders. Call me old school. I don't want my young kids learning any of these types of behaviors. I don't want them even witnessing them at this age. Seeing the same thing repeatedly leads to overexposure and desensitization and utter apathy.
Then, as the kids get older, the sheltering slowly gives way to more exposure, in incremental steps. I talk to them more and more about other people and what they do, what they believe and why, and the differences between people. We are already in this stage now, especially with my older 2 kids. We talk A LOT about incidents that we see while we're out and about, at the park / mall/ play date/ library/ store. They ask their endless questions and I answer and explain, explain, explain.
Then, as they enter their teenage years and older, of course they will branch out and do their own thing. No more influence from mom or dad. In fact, they might to try and distance themselves from us as adolescence sets in (sad but often true).
I want to expose them to the "real world," to very different people and practices and beliefs, but gradually, carefully, when they can process it without internalizing it as the default. Without the dogma of the "real world" becoming normative. I want to first give them a pure lens through which to see the realities of the "real world."
I will teach them about the world and its vastness, but on my terms. Not the world's. I want to expose them to things they will later encounter, but to warn them of the pitfalls that lay ahead and to guide them through them. To point out to them the potential problems so that they might avoid them, instead of falling face first into them.
I certainly have heard of the case of the overly-strict parent of the overly-sheltered kid, who goes nuts the first time he is loosed upon the "real world." Usually this type of scenario involves a kid leaving home for the first time ever and going to college with zero knowledge of what to expect or how to navigate it.
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Delirious with newfound freedom, this naive kid falls flat on his face in a cesspool of alcohol, drugs, and sex.
So I'm not trying to delude myself into thinking I'll shelter my kids forever, or tie them to me eternally. No such delusions here. They will be their own people in time. But it's my job to shape them and train them up to be good human beings with solid character and strong morals, while they are under my care. It's my job to prepare them to face off with the real world so they have a chance, God willing.
The most important part of this training occurs in the small, unassuming window of the very early years. Right now.
So I'm not trying to delude myself into thinking I'll shelter my kids forever, or tie them to me eternally. No such delusions here. They will be their own people in time. But it's my job to shape them and train them up to be good human beings with solid character and strong morals, while they are under my care. It's my job to prepare them to face off with the real world so they have a chance, God willing.
The most important part of this training occurs in the small, unassuming window of the very early years. Right now.
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🌷Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (رحمه الله ) said:
🌷"When the time comes for the children to start talking; then you should dictate to them to say "lā ilaha illā -llah, muḥammadan rasulu -llah" and let the first thing they hear be the knowledge and understanding of Allah and His Tawhid and that He is above His Throne and looks down upon them and hears what they talk and is with them when they are (with His knowledge)."🌷
[Tuhfatul-Mawdud bi Ahkaam al-Mawlud - Page 339]
🌷"When the time comes for the children to start talking; then you should dictate to them to say "lā ilaha illā -llah, muḥammadan rasulu -llah" and let the first thing they hear be the knowledge and understanding of Allah and His Tawhid and that He is above His Throne and looks down upon them and hears what they talk and is with them when they are (with His knowledge)."🌷
[Tuhfatul-Mawdud bi Ahkaam al-Mawlud - Page 339]
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The woman of Jannah
Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported:
A poor woman came to me carrying her two daughters. I gave her three date-fruits. She gave a date to each of them and then she took up one date-fruit and brought that to her mouth to eat, but her daughters asked her that also. She then divided between them the date-fruit that she intended to eat. This (kind) treatment of her impressed me and I mentioned that to Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) who said, 'Verily, Allah has assured Jannah for her, because of (this act) of her," or said, "He (SWT) has rescued her from Hell- Fire". [Muslim].
Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported:
A poor woman came to me carrying her two daughters. I gave her three date-fruits. She gave a date to each of them and then she took up one date-fruit and brought that to her mouth to eat, but her daughters asked her that also. She then divided between them the date-fruit that she intended to eat. This (kind) treatment of her impressed me and I mentioned that to Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) who said, 'Verily, Allah has assured Jannah for her, because of (this act) of her," or said, "He (SWT) has rescued her from Hell- Fire". [Muslim].
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Over 1400 years ago, when a child was born, the messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) made it his sunnah to take a small part of a date and place it in his mouth. He would then chew it until it was soft and then he would rub it onto the palate of the new born baby. This is called the tahneek.
Aaishah (ra) reports, "new-born children used to be brought to the Messenger of Allah and he would supplicate for blessings for them, and rub a chewed date upon their palate." (Muslim)
Today, over 1400 years later - the BBC News has reported that "experts" have said - "A dose of sugar given as a gel rubbed into the inside of the cheek is a cheap and effective way to protect premature babies against brain damage"
This is why we as Muslims follow the sunnah of the messenger without questioning it. It is revelation from Allah. Everything that the messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) did is the best. So don't wait until science catches up, because Islam is the forefront of development.
The things we do according to the sunnah (such as fasting Mondays and Thursdays) are only just being recognised as "scientific breakthroughs".
Aaishah (ra) reports, "new-born children used to be brought to the Messenger of Allah and he would supplicate for blessings for them, and rub a chewed date upon their palate." (Muslim)
Today, over 1400 years later - the BBC News has reported that "experts" have said - "A dose of sugar given as a gel rubbed into the inside of the cheek is a cheap and effective way to protect premature babies against brain damage"
This is why we as Muslims follow the sunnah of the messenger without questioning it. It is revelation from Allah. Everything that the messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) did is the best. So don't wait until science catches up, because Islam is the forefront of development.
The things we do according to the sunnah (such as fasting Mondays and Thursdays) are only just being recognised as "scientific breakthroughs".
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Dear parents, when you send your precious children to public schools in the west for 7-8 hrs per day, don’t be alarmed if they fly off the handle at times.
Recently I mentored a mother who couldn’t understand why her public-school-going-teenager was being influenced and not being a model Muslim child.
As parents, we can’t ignore the fact that when we put our children in these institutions with widespread fitna, it’s going to impact them.
It would be extremely naive and downright foolish to expect a child to overcome the daily obstacles that are in contradiction to their deen, when many adults find it tough to do.
So I urge parents to please think about the places they send their children and empathize with all they have to face throughout the day.
Personally, I don’t send my children to public schools, and I’m of the opinion that it is a disservice to send our precious children to these institutions when we know full well what goes on there.
Recently I mentored a mother who couldn’t understand why her public-school-going-teenager was being influenced and not being a model Muslim child.
As parents, we can’t ignore the fact that when we put our children in these institutions with widespread fitna, it’s going to impact them.
It would be extremely naive and downright foolish to expect a child to overcome the daily obstacles that are in contradiction to their deen, when many adults find it tough to do.
So I urge parents to please think about the places they send their children and empathize with all they have to face throughout the day.
Personally, I don’t send my children to public schools, and I’m of the opinion that it is a disservice to send our precious children to these institutions when we know full well what goes on there.
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No matter how cute they are, never expose your child/kids, nieces & nephews to evil eye.
Don't post their photos & videos online.
Don't post their photos & videos online.
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✍🏻 Right Of Parents
From ʿAbdullāh b. ʿAmr RaḍiAllāhu-ʿAnhu who narrated that a man came to Prophet and pledged to him that he will make Hijrah (migration) and then left his parents in tears, so Prophet Ṣallallāhu-ʿAlaihi Wa Sallam said to him: “Go back to them and make them laugh like you have made them cry.”
● [الأدب المفرد للبخاري ١٣]
From ʿAbdullāh b. ʿAmr RaḍiAllāhu-ʿAnhu who narrated that a man came to Prophet and pledged to him that he will make Hijrah (migration) and then left his parents in tears, so Prophet Ṣallallāhu-ʿAlaihi Wa Sallam said to him: “Go back to them and make them laugh like you have made them cry.”
● [الأدب المفرد للبخاري ١٣]
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Ibn ʿUmar RaḍiAllāhu-ʿAnhumā said:
“Making parents cry is from disobedience and MAJOR SINS.”
● [الأدب المفرد للإمام البخاري ٣١]
“Making parents cry is from disobedience and MAJOR SINS.”
● [الأدب المفرد للإمام البخاري ٣١]
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✍🏻 Right Of Parents
From ʿAbdullāh b. ʿAmr RaḍiAllāhu-ʿAnhu who narrated that a man came to Prophet and pledged to him that he will make Hijrah (migration) and then left his parents in tears, so Prophet Ṣallallāhu-ʿAlaihi Wa Sallam said to him: “Go back to them and make them laugh like you have made them cry.”
● [الأدب المفرد للبخاري ١٣]
From ʿAbdullāh b. ʿAmr RaḍiAllāhu-ʿAnhu who narrated that a man came to Prophet and pledged to him that he will make Hijrah (migration) and then left his parents in tears, so Prophet Ṣallallāhu-ʿAlaihi Wa Sallam said to him: “Go back to them and make them laugh like you have made them cry.”
● [الأدب المفرد للبخاري ١٣]
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How many curse their parents and don’t even recognize it!
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Verily, one of the major sins is that a man curses his own parents.
It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, how can a man curse his own parents?”
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“He insults the father of another man and then that man insults his father and his mother.”
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari: 5973
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Verily, one of the major sins is that a man curses his own parents.
It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, how can a man curse his own parents?”
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“He insults the father of another man and then that man insults his father and his mother.”
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari: 5973
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The Muslim Woman and Her Children
• Undoubtedly children are a source of great joy and delight; they make life sweet, bring more rizq (sustenance) into a family's life and give hope. A father sees his children as a future source of help and support, as well as representing an increase in numbers and perpetuation of the family.
A mother sees her children as a source of hope, consolation and joy in life, and as hope for the future.
All of these hopes rest on the good upbringing of the children and giving them a sound training and education for life, so that they become active and constructive elements in society, a source of goodness for their parents, community and society as a whole.
They then will be as Allah سبحانه وتعالى described them:
"Wealth and sons are allurements of the life of this world..." {18:46}
If their education and upbringing are neglected, they will become bad characters, a burden on their parents, family, community and humanity at large...
• Undoubtedly children are a source of great joy and delight; they make life sweet, bring more rizq (sustenance) into a family's life and give hope. A father sees his children as a future source of help and support, as well as representing an increase in numbers and perpetuation of the family.
A mother sees her children as a source of hope, consolation and joy in life, and as hope for the future.
All of these hopes rest on the good upbringing of the children and giving them a sound training and education for life, so that they become active and constructive elements in society, a source of goodness for their parents, community and society as a whole.
They then will be as Allah سبحانه وتعالى described them:
"Wealth and sons are allurements of the life of this world..." {18:46}
If their education and upbringing are neglected, they will become bad characters, a burden on their parents, family, community and humanity at large...
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Question: Is it permissible to adorn young boys with gold and silver if they are under 2 years of age?
Shaykh ʿAbd al-Azeez bin ʿAbdullah bin Baaz رحمه الله
It is absolutely NOT permissible for young boys to wear gold, even if they are younger than two years of age. Gold is permissible for females and is prohibited for males, whether it is rings, watches or other than that. It is not permissible to place gold on a young boy, just as it is not permissible for a grown man to wear it. Rather gold is for women only.
http://dusunnah.com/article/is-it-allowed-to-adorn-boys-as-young-as-2-with-gold-shaykh-ibn-baz/
Shaykh ʿAbd al-Azeez bin ʿAbdullah bin Baaz رحمه الله
It is absolutely NOT permissible for young boys to wear gold, even if they are younger than two years of age. Gold is permissible for females and is prohibited for males, whether it is rings, watches or other than that. It is not permissible to place gold on a young boy, just as it is not permissible for a grown man to wear it. Rather gold is for women only.
http://dusunnah.com/article/is-it-allowed-to-adorn-boys-as-young-as-2-with-gold-shaykh-ibn-baz/
Masjid Daar us Sunnah | Calling to the Sunnah upon the Methodology of the Salaf
Is It Allowed to Adorn Boys As Young As 2 With Gold – Shaykh Ibn Baz | Masjid Daar us Sunnah
Questioner: Is it permissible to adorn young boys with gold and silver if they are under 2 years of age? Shaykh ʿAbd al-Azīz bin ʿAbdullah bin Bāz: It is absolutely not permissible for young boys to wear gold, even if they are younger than two years of age.…
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