For example, the abuser may say something angry or aggressive, but when the victim becomes upset, they will completely deny having used this tone, quickly changing their voice to a softer and calmer tone. The abuser can then accuse their victim of deliberately trying to hear everything they say in a negative way - even though the abuser knows that they are being intentionally aggressive and negative.

The abuser will make up very persuasive lies to intentionally upset the other person and then scold, mock, and put him down for being upset and overreacting. The abuser will also ridicule anything important to the victim in order to make the victim's opinions, life choices, and thoughts seem stupid or inferior to their own. The abuser will laugh or mock his victim, but when questioned, convince him that he was imagining it.

Recognize these warning signs of gaslighting in yourself:

Apologize. A victim of gaslighting will constantly apologize for doing things wrong, even if they haven't done anything wrong. To feel sorry for everything means that the responsibility and responsibility for all alleged wrongdoing has been claimed by one person: the victim. This ensures that the perpetrator remains innocent and the victim is constantly guilty.

Can't make decisions. The victim will find it increasingly difficult to make decisions because they will feel that whatever they choose will be the wrong choice. Everything they do or say is wrong, so they feel they are no longer able to make rational decisions about anything, so they will leave it to their abuser. This gives the abuser even more power and control and prolongs the poisonous dance that takes place between the two.

Change. Change isn't always easy to spot, as most changes happen little by little, so the process can feel very natural in some ways. However, if the victim thinks back to who they were before the relationship and who they are now, they are likely to see significant differences.

Confusion. Victims of gaslighting are often in a constant state of bewilderment and confusion. They find it very difficult to trust their own Mind and constantly doubt their thinking process. Their instincts don't work because when it happens they are very quickly told it's wrong so it becomes a silent tool that keeps the gaslighter on top of their game. The victim will know that something is seriously wrong, but will find it difficult to figure out what. The person being gaslighted will always wonder if he or she is hypersensitive, as he or she will always feel triggered to respond to the gaslighter's behavior.

Being pulled back.
Whoever gets gaslight will be withdrawn because they feel so low and beat up that they have little confidence to hang out with anyone anymore. The victim will feel safer spending time alone than with other people because when the people around them wonder what is wrong, or what is happening in their relationship, the victim simply won't have the answers to justify what's going on.

Due to either depression or severe anxiety, the victim will find it extremely difficult to function normally in society or even with close friends or family. The abuser has won the battle for control at this stage because without anyone confiding in the victim, it will be very difficult to figure out that it is the abuser who is causing the damage. The abuser will not want anyone to fathom their game, so they will work hard to ensure that their victim becomes alienated from anyone who could offer support.

In general, the main reason for gaslighting is to create a dynamic where the abuser has complete control over their victim so that they are so weak that they are very easy to manipulate.

The gaslighter wants to appear superior to the one being gaslighted. By making their victim feel completely helpless with very low self-esteem, the abuser has complete domination over them, so they are very successful at manipulating their victim to get whatever they want.

This can range from simply having their ego stroked by feeling that they are significantly better than the person they are with, and going to the extreme of getting financial, sexual or material benefits because their victim feels too weak emotionally and mentally. feels like fighting back.

The victim is usually left in a whirlpool from which they will struggle to climb out.
The victim will most likely need guidance and a tremendous amount of support to rebuild themselves to a stage where they have confidence and can trust their own Mind and intuition.
It is imperative that the victim realize that he has been a pawn in a very dirty game so that he can can let go and become familiar with the warning signs so that he does not become the victim again.

Anyone who has been through this type of experience will feel weakened at first. But you will bounce back stronger than before and have learned painful but valuable lessons along the way.
The most important lesson:
trust your intuition completely.
Our fight-or-flight responses are there for a reason — to keep us from getting into dangerous situations.
But when fight or flight has become the normalized standard in society, the game seems "normal".

Ground firmly in your own truth.
Your truth doesn't become true until someone else agrees.
Recognize the game and say no.
Confront people with the question;
"Don't you recognize the game?"
Dare to say that you see things differently, experience things, choose and demand the space and respect that are your given birth right as a human being.

The best thing is;
We are now breaking the game together.
You are not alone.
We do this together.

I send you love
Danielle
🙏💗💫

Key point:
Narcissists are not capable of feeling Empathy.

Not.
Capable.

Some gems from the chat.
👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

This is my experience with my mom: It's like they want you to feel the shame and guilt more than they do - for whatever that is. It's their self-centered protection place in a way... if you feel more shame and guilt than I do than I'm okay, fuck what place I put you in to get me feeling okay with myself. Total lack of empathy. It's the worse and as feeling deep empathy you just want to love them more, or change so they are the person who they are supposed to fucking be in our lives... or like me seek out orphan families, friends that have somewhat normalcy. I don't know if this makes sense but wanted to vent. I feel your angst and pain. Holding you close in my thoughts.

TR, have you ever tried putting mirrors up around you? It is a form of protection. The mirrors show the person their reflection. Sometimes I get astonishing results, immediately. I placed them around me when seeing my MIL and FIL last encounter. ( I chose that word on purpose 😂) They each opened their mouth to insult me and both closed their mouth and said nothing. It was AWESOME.
It is a whole new level of suck when it’s your mother and she is ill. I was there. I knew when she passed it would be a mess of emotions as well. It took some time to navigate. If you ever want to talk let me know. I will listen and validate your journey if you need that for comfort. We are here together for a reason. I feel it. You’ve got this!
You can also Unplug energetically. Visualize a plug 🔌 in a wall. Pull the chord out. The emotional connection will sever. You can always plug it back in if you wish. When I do this, I feel nothing. End of drama. End of energetic vampirism. There is nothing. It is drastic, but sometimes needed for self preservation. When and if you plug back in and re-engage, you can set up strong boundaries and have a game plan ( get in the offensive) or something like that… I’m not a sports person. 🤗

They aren't fixable but they can be managed meaning when they know we see through them they will leave us alone and find another target until they alienate everyone and are left by themselves. That is what is coming for these types. We see the splitting of good and evil more clearly now. They can't hide behind the facade of phoniness. Light brings out the worst in them. I do enjoy triggering one of them sometimes but mostly do my best to steer clear. That's probably the best thing to do is just avoid if you are able. They want a response to their BS because in their sick minds it justifies their behavior and they can deflect it. It doesn't work when they know you see thru them.

Look up the word Narcopath and see if it fits the one you're dealing with now. This is the highest end of the narcissist spectrum. Worst ever. Fukking demons. But once you know what you are dealing with the game changes. Sending strength to you.

Definitely no joke. The mental game and mental abuse/violence is very hard to deal with. But when one wakes up to see what's going on, and heals from it. It's so wonderful on the other side. Sending you love ! ❤🌸❤

I found that all the narcissists in my life, not only gaslight, but they throw energetic bombs. If they are caught in a lie or caught in a corner, they throw a huge energetic bomb to divert the pain and confusion. ( They are great at false flag events!) I have been the target of these bombs many times. Why? Because we hold so much light and it disturbs them. The thing I eventually learned, is although these bombs are devastating to our emotional and energetic well being, they don’t have to be. Just like whenever someone throws something at you, it catches you off guard. You try to catch it, but do you want to catch a bomb? NO!!!! They want you engaged. They want to knock you off your balance point. That’s the purpose of throwing the bomb! They want to take you down with them. So, I learned to not touch it. Don’t pick it up. Don’t own it in any way. That’s their toxic energy and it has nothing to do with me. So, I observe it for what it is and I leave it. I don’t internalize it. If I slip up and reactively engage, once I realize what happened, I cleanse myself of all energy that is not mine, reset my boundaries, gently put the bomb down and disengage, unplugging my energetic connection to the person. It works really well. Now, from a higher perspective, these people are teaching us boundaries. As an empath and energy worker, I had terrible boundaries. I wanted to help everyone, feel everyone. Lesson learned by my spiritual partners - the narcissists. For that I am grateful, even though I’m a bit war torn and beat up. I arrived at my destination. So, calling all narcissists- further missions are not necessary. I learned the lesson. Move on 😁 I remembered how to play this game. 💝

Truer words were never spoken. I have a book that helped me to understand it. I read it long after i got away from it. The effects do linger 😢 I gained such clarity & understanding. Go protect yourself because there isn’t much else you can do once You know what your dealing with. Book 👇

Narcissism
Denial of the True Self
by Alexander Lowen, M.D.