“The nightmare is over… God will look after me…” Alan Kelly briefly addresses cameras outside the Santa Cruz County courthouse in Nogales after prosecutors decide not to retry the case against him:

https://twitter.com/AliBradleyTV/status/1785051281754583402

If you build it, they will come.

Forklift Chad. English dub of the German original staplefarher Klaus.

A rope walks into a bar

The bartender looks at it and immediately says, “Get out. We don’t serve ropes here.”

The rope is understandably offended and says, “What? Why??”

The bartender shakes his head. “I’m sorry, but your kind have been too much trouble in the past. One of our staff getting accidentally hanged was the last straw. It’s nothing personal, but you have to leave.”

The rope complied, but felt very upset. He went home and talked to some friend ropes who encouraged him to stand up against the discrimination. Feeling emboldened, the rope tied himself up in various ways and pulled his ends apart until they were poofy. He was nearly unrecognizable. He walked back to the bar and confidently through the door.

The bartender peered at him with narrowed eyes. “Hey,” he said suspiciously, “aren’t you a rope?”

The rope replied, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot.”

Two idiots building a house

One looks over and sees the other keeps throwing nails over his shoulder.

Pulls a nail from his apron, nails it in. Pulls another nail from his apron, throws it over his shoulder.

Second idiot asks, “Why are you throwing half of the nails away?”

First idiot pulls a nail from his apron and holds it up to the house and says, “See? Some of these nails have the point on the wrong side!”

Second idiot shakes his head in disbelief. “You idiot! Those are for the other side of the house!”