At the end of the day one question remains.

The most important question.

Why aren’t I anyone’s wife?

Honestly. How? I’m literally perfect.

You guys-

There’s something I need you to see.

“Because… you don’t love me. You just want me today… because it’s just easier with me, because I’m always there…”

So anyways, I’m sad.

Nothing’s ever gonna get better, I’ll always be like this and in a couple of years I’ll end up alone probably high or drunk, going through my life as I’m bleeding out waiting to die. And as I’m taking my last breaths I’ll think “damn, I never had a chance.”

I won’t wake up tomorrow and that’s an order.

For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to watch tiktoks about bpd and ocd and cry.

It’s kinda sad how I’m just realizing now all those things I’ve felt since I can remember was caused by this thing and I always blamed myself for not thinking or acting “normal”.

Anyways whatever, my main focus rn is to become insane enough to be hospitalized.

I think logically the next step would be hallucinating and hearing voices.

Wait-

I hereby declare “cold”. At last people, the viruses have won.

All the hand washing and where did it get me?