Are girls bulletproof or something? I’m sorry I don’t speak sex. I only speak murder.
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Thank you all for the words of support earlier, I was down and you guys lifted me up. Here is a T shirt I have with the asexuality flag 🤗
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Being the "safe" friend?
So I've been out as Ace for about 4 months now in my friend group mostly guys, and I've done my best to answer any questions they had seemingly effectively. But I've come across a strange phenomenon, a few of my friends who hadn't really opened up to me prior have now. Whether it be about emotional issues or just general sexual and relationship things. Which was odd but I didn't pay much mind, but I've also had a few friends tell me they consider me a "safe" friend, and one of my friends who I will be moving in with has told their partner they don't need to be concerned since im Ace. I know I probably shouldn't find that to be an issue but it just feels really strange to know that's how they see me now.
Tldr: Aside from me suddenly having a lot more responsibility/Impact for my friends personal lives they see me as safe, and I don't know what to make of it. Why did this happen?
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So I've been out as Ace for about 4 months now in my friend group mostly guys, and I've done my best to answer any questions they had seemingly effectively. But I've come across a strange phenomenon, a few of my friends who hadn't really opened up to me prior have now. Whether it be about emotional issues or just general sexual and relationship things. Which was odd but I didn't pay much mind, but I've also had a few friends tell me they consider me a "safe" friend, and one of my friends who I will be moving in with has told their partner they don't need to be concerned since im Ace. I know I probably shouldn't find that to be an issue but it just feels really strange to know that's how they see me now.
Tldr: Aside from me suddenly having a lot more responsibility/Impact for my friends personal lives they see me as safe, and I don't know what to make of it. Why did this happen?
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Sex/fertility dreams (more like nightmares)
I am a married 37f childfree sex-repulsed romantic ace and I think my 'body clock' is attempting one last ditch attempt at making me want babies via my subconscious and I hate it. I was never one to have sex dreams too regularly, assuming because I'm ace, and I've always hated having them. Recently however, they have ramped up and Im finding it a bit traumatic. The subject matter of these dreams is generally pretty normal if a bit weird as dreams tend to be, but get nightmarish particularly when they focus on becoming pregnant. I wake up feeling really gross and traumatised by these dreams in which I engage in things/want things that in waking life I am absolutely not interested in. I suppose they are nightmares because I sure wish they'd go away! Can anyone relate?
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I am a married 37f childfree sex-repulsed romantic ace and I think my 'body clock' is attempting one last ditch attempt at making me want babies via my subconscious and I hate it. I was never one to have sex dreams too regularly, assuming because I'm ace, and I've always hated having them. Recently however, they have ramped up and Im finding it a bit traumatic. The subject matter of these dreams is generally pretty normal if a bit weird as dreams tend to be, but get nightmarish particularly when they focus on becoming pregnant. I wake up feeling really gross and traumatised by these dreams in which I engage in things/want things that in waking life I am absolutely not interested in. I suppose they are nightmares because I sure wish they'd go away! Can anyone relate?
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My teacher said this about asexuality, and I was wondering who may agree?
This week we discussed female sexual disorders. One being a lack of sexual arousal. We had much debate about how we decipher this as a disorder or asexuality. My professor said that it is a disorder when it causes distress and when one wishes they could be sexual. I feel at times, that can explain some aces, too. For some of us it is a distressing thing to accept, sometimes I wish I was like other people. So I don’t know how to feel about that.
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This week we discussed female sexual disorders. One being a lack of sexual arousal. We had much debate about how we decipher this as a disorder or asexuality. My professor said that it is a disorder when it causes distress and when one wishes they could be sexual. I feel at times, that can explain some aces, too. For some of us it is a distressing thing to accept, sometimes I wish I was like other people. So I don’t know how to feel about that.
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Is it even possible to find an asexual partner?
Title pretty much says it. I have never come across a dating profile of an asexual, nor have I ever met an ace person in real life. There are plenty of us online obviously but in real life? Y’all are like unicorns it seems like. In a perfect world I could an asexual but I have to always take my chances with the straights. Not fun.
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Title pretty much says it. I have never come across a dating profile of an asexual, nor have I ever met an ace person in real life. There are plenty of us online obviously but in real life? Y’all are like unicorns it seems like. In a perfect world I could an asexual but I have to always take my chances with the straights. Not fun.
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Ladies, Did You Have Trouble Telling the Difference Between Being "Good Girl" and being Asexual?
This is probably more of a generational thing, but I often wonder if I would have been able to figure out my asexuality sooner had it not been for the endless misogynistic messages drilled into me from childhood (especially from my mother).
The basic gist was, Good girls don't like sex. They don't want sex. They don't ask for sex. They only accept sex from their husband to have children. I wasn't even raised as religious, just in a really small, really Christian town with parents born in the 1930s.
I had no intention of being a "good girl," yet I still couldn't enjoy it the way others clearly do. My fetishist friends would go on about how I must be a sub because of this, that women from my generation feel too much guilt to initiate and enjoy. That we have to pretend like we're being...taken advantage of, to pretend we've taken our own consent away. (side note, this is partially true for some women, but not me).
I was too ashamed to masturbate until I was 24 (FABULOUS day!). Half the reason was that a girl in our high school made the mistake of casually admitting that she masturbates, and she NEVER lived it down. Her name became synonymous with the act. It was horrifying, and really helped me believe that "good girls" don't masturbate, they don't even have a need or desire to do that.
(And then there is the horror story of a male roommate who became obsessed with me, stole my lube, and made of video of himself using it--adding to a video he made of me using it. Gawd, I hate that guy.)
I feel like this combinational push from society, one that says you don't want it because you're a girl, and another that says cool girls put out, really interfered with my ability to recognize what I am.
It also makes me wonder how many women across time were told they were "frigid", were treated for it, divorced for it, looked down upon for it, when really they were just asexual.
Anyone else have any similar experiences?
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This is probably more of a generational thing, but I often wonder if I would have been able to figure out my asexuality sooner had it not been for the endless misogynistic messages drilled into me from childhood (especially from my mother).
The basic gist was, Good girls don't like sex. They don't want sex. They don't ask for sex. They only accept sex from their husband to have children. I wasn't even raised as religious, just in a really small, really Christian town with parents born in the 1930s.
I had no intention of being a "good girl," yet I still couldn't enjoy it the way others clearly do. My fetishist friends would go on about how I must be a sub because of this, that women from my generation feel too much guilt to initiate and enjoy. That we have to pretend like we're being...taken advantage of, to pretend we've taken our own consent away. (side note, this is partially true for some women, but not me).
I was too ashamed to masturbate until I was 24 (FABULOUS day!). Half the reason was that a girl in our high school made the mistake of casually admitting that she masturbates, and she NEVER lived it down. Her name became synonymous with the act. It was horrifying, and really helped me believe that "good girls" don't masturbate, they don't even have a need or desire to do that.
(And then there is the horror story of a male roommate who became obsessed with me, stole my lube, and made of video of himself using it--adding to a video he made of me using it. Gawd, I hate that guy.)
I feel like this combinational push from society, one that says you don't want it because you're a girl, and another that says cool girls put out, really interfered with my ability to recognize what I am.
It also makes me wonder how many women across time were told they were "frigid", were treated for it, divorced for it, looked down upon for it, when really they were just asexual.
Anyone else have any similar experiences?
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I wanted to share a metaphor I thought of
Every journey to discovering your sexuality and romantic preference is different. For some people discovering you're Ace or AroAce is like looking at a pile of spikes at the bottom of a mountain. You don't have to have previous experience to know that you would not like to be impaled with spikes. You just know.
For other people, discovering you don't like sex or romance is like discovering you don't like pizza. Everyone around you seems to love pizza, so you give it a try and it's not your thing. People are confused why you don't love pizza because it's so good, everyone loves it. So you convince yourself, maybe it's the type of pizza you tried. So you try another type. You try different toppings and sauce and every combination until you finally realize that you do not like pizza. You might like some aspects or toppings but you just don't like pizza and that's okay.
Don't feel Invalid if you didn't immediately know or you had to go out and try different things to figure it out. What matters is you know now and don't let anyone take that away from you. And you can still eat pizza even you don't like it lol.
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Every journey to discovering your sexuality and romantic preference is different. For some people discovering you're Ace or AroAce is like looking at a pile of spikes at the bottom of a mountain. You don't have to have previous experience to know that you would not like to be impaled with spikes. You just know.
For other people, discovering you don't like sex or romance is like discovering you don't like pizza. Everyone around you seems to love pizza, so you give it a try and it's not your thing. People are confused why you don't love pizza because it's so good, everyone loves it. So you convince yourself, maybe it's the type of pizza you tried. So you try another type. You try different toppings and sauce and every combination until you finally realize that you do not like pizza. You might like some aspects or toppings but you just don't like pizza and that's okay.
Don't feel Invalid if you didn't immediately know or you had to go out and try different things to figure it out. What matters is you know now and don't let anyone take that away from you. And you can still eat pizza even you don't like it lol.
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My GF of 5 years came out as asexual
Hello, my (23 F) GF (22 F) of 5 years has recently (about two months ago) came out to me a asexual. I am a trans bi woman myself and know a good amount about the community; however I am concerned that I might not be knowledgeable about asexuality and I want to make sure I’m being a good girlfriend.
The two of us get intimate fairly regularly (once a week or so) which I almost always initiate but I feel guilty about it now that she has come out me. I was wondering if any of you who date allosexual (I think that’s the right term for myself, sorry if it isn’t) partners have any advice for me to be more accommodating and accepting of her asexuality.
Sex is awesome to me, but not even nearly as awesome as my gf. I am concerned that maybe she only has sex with me because she thinks I will leave her otherwise or that she thinks it is a necessary part of our relationship.
If have tried to talk to her about this sort thing, but somehow I feel like generally I’m not really understanding how she feels, and that she feels frustrated to be asked so many questions about it. So I thought I would ask y’all if you are willing.
Is it common for an asexual person to still enjoy sex sometimes? or at least be happy to have sex with a partner just to make them happy? Am I being an asshole by initiating sex? Should I give her some time to think about her asexuality where we take a break from talking about it or initiating intimacy? And I guess if you have any advice for me dating an asexual partner it would be appreciated.
Thank you for reading!
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@asexualityonreddit
Hello, my (23 F) GF (22 F) of 5 years has recently (about two months ago) came out to me a asexual. I am a trans bi woman myself and know a good amount about the community; however I am concerned that I might not be knowledgeable about asexuality and I want to make sure I’m being a good girlfriend.
The two of us get intimate fairly regularly (once a week or so) which I almost always initiate but I feel guilty about it now that she has come out me. I was wondering if any of you who date allosexual (I think that’s the right term for myself, sorry if it isn’t) partners have any advice for me to be more accommodating and accepting of her asexuality.
Sex is awesome to me, but not even nearly as awesome as my gf. I am concerned that maybe she only has sex with me because she thinks I will leave her otherwise or that she thinks it is a necessary part of our relationship.
If have tried to talk to her about this sort thing, but somehow I feel like generally I’m not really understanding how she feels, and that she feels frustrated to be asked so many questions about it. So I thought I would ask y’all if you are willing.
Is it common for an asexual person to still enjoy sex sometimes? or at least be happy to have sex with a partner just to make them happy? Am I being an asshole by initiating sex? Should I give her some time to think about her asexuality where we take a break from talking about it or initiating intimacy? And I guess if you have any advice for me dating an asexual partner it would be appreciated.
Thank you for reading!
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When did you find out you were asexual?
I'm 28 and I feel like I'm barely getting an idea of my sexuality, when did you find out?
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I'm 28 and I feel like I'm barely getting an idea of my sexuality, when did you find out?
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I have a sexless marriage
And I’m happy! I just want to brag on how much I love this relationship to people who will share my pride and not feel “sorry” for us.
My partner and I are both ace. I’m sex neutral. When we first got together in that first year we had sex prob about 6 or 7 times over that first year.
We got married in March and we’ve not had sex since last summer. No sex on our wedding night. This is my second marriage and our honeymoon was the absolute best experience!
We got in the giant tub and played with the bubbles and ate leftover desserts from the reception and then we laid in bed and watched facebook reels and TikTok’s til 4am. He even sent a funny cat one to his mom and she texted back “this is what you’re doing on your wedding night!?”. Yep! Because this is what we like to do.
We tossed out all societal expectations and had the night we both enjoyed and we’ve been so very happy.
We got our first apartment and we didn’t “christen” it by screwing in every room. My exes would have been all about that.
There’s no pressure in our marriage. No expectations to meet certain standards. We’re just us and we like it that way.
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And I’m happy! I just want to brag on how much I love this relationship to people who will share my pride and not feel “sorry” for us.
My partner and I are both ace. I’m sex neutral. When we first got together in that first year we had sex prob about 6 or 7 times over that first year.
We got married in March and we’ve not had sex since last summer. No sex on our wedding night. This is my second marriage and our honeymoon was the absolute best experience!
We got in the giant tub and played with the bubbles and ate leftover desserts from the reception and then we laid in bed and watched facebook reels and TikTok’s til 4am. He even sent a funny cat one to his mom and she texted back “this is what you’re doing on your wedding night!?”. Yep! Because this is what we like to do.
We tossed out all societal expectations and had the night we both enjoyed and we’ve been so very happy.
We got our first apartment and we didn’t “christen” it by screwing in every room. My exes would have been all about that.
There’s no pressure in our marriage. No expectations to meet certain standards. We’re just us and we like it that way.
https://redd.it/1cin68p
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Why do I keep thinking about sex but I have no desire to actually do it when the chance is given?
Like I'm not disgusted or opposed to doing it but it's just not exciting to me. In my mind it seems nice but I just never feel like doing it ever and that's been going on for some years already now.
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Like I'm not disgusted or opposed to doing it but it's just not exciting to me. In my mind it seems nice but I just never feel like doing it ever and that's been going on for some years already now.
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Help
I don't know if I'm ace.I like to masturbate.Im don't hate sex or anything but I usually do stuff like that to make my partner happy. I have a problem of saying no, and often do stuff when I don't want too.
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I don't know if I'm ace.I like to masturbate.Im don't hate sex or anything but I usually do stuff like that to make my partner happy. I have a problem of saying no, and often do stuff when I don't want too.
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