Just think of all the countless petty squabbles and misunderstandings, of all the fervent hatreds, over so insignificant a thing as the direction and duration of a rocket engine firing.

Poorly Drawn Lines – Cute Animals

Doug's cousin, the one from London, runs a Bumble love cult.

Astronomers are a little unsure of the applicability of this index, but NASA's Planetary Protection Officer is all in favor.

If you pick a low enough orbit, it gives you a lot of freedom to use a lightweight launch vehicle such as a stepladder.

Poorly Drawn Lines – Do Everything

You know that asteroid that almost destroyed Earth in the 90s? Turns out the whole thing was secretly created by Michael Bay, who then PAID Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to look heroic while blowing it up!

Poorly Drawn Lines – Fight You

Poorly Drawn Lines – Feeling Great

The Mercator projection drastically distorts the size of almost every area of land except a small ring around the North and South Poles.

Poorly Drawn Lines – Selling

Cesium-133, let it be. Cesium-134, let it be even more.

Poorly Drawn Lines – Listen

A partial eclipse is like a cool sunset. A total eclipse is like someone broke the sky.

The rare compound solar-lunar-nephelogical eclipse

The Credible Machine

If you're really savvy, you can hide an entire set of illicit transactions by timing them to draw what looks like a graph inset.

First comes blood / Then we perish / Then comes Death in his Eternity Carriage.

Fun fact: The standard North American NAD83 coordinate system is misaligned from the actual Earth, off-center by about 7 feet. Someone knows where I am, and I'm in the wrong place.

Okay, this eclipse will only be visible from the Arctic in February 2063, when the sun is below the horizon, BUT if we get lucky and a gigantic chasm opens in the Earth in just the right spot...