The IAU is sad to announce that at 00:39 UTC on December 22nd, Jupiter and Saturn did unfortunately come into contact, and appear to have blooped together.

"Okay, for the last time, the shot is free, so we can't--" "Shut up and take my money!"

Wow, rude of you to regift literally every gift that you or anyone else has ever received.

Then I'm going to go on a weeks-long somatic hypermutation bender, producing ever-more targeted antibodies, while I continue to remain distanced and follow guidance from public health authorities.