There is a big difference between loving the person and loving the moments that you spent with that person.

I don’t have the energy to pretend like I like you.

"Never retreat. Never explain. Get it done and let them howl." - Benjamin Jowett

Q: Whats 72?
A: 69 with three people watching

Your innocent friend Is low-key freak And you don't know That.

I want to forget my name while I’m busy moaning yours.

If Google is A girl or A boy

Obviously A girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.

Sound track of "money heist" Bella ciao💥💥💥

IF SHE LOOK good & She Singel She's The problem.

THIS GENRATION
👉 constructive criticism =Hating
👉 showing feelings =weak
👉 2k followers= Celebrity
👉Plastic Tits/Ass =Ig model
👉Being a side chick= Acomplishment

Dating someone for 4 years and then break up

Congratulations now you have a degree of r/ship management and analysis.

I asked my wife why she married me.

She said “Because you are funny.” I said “I thought it was because I was good in bed.” She said “See? You’re hilarious!”

One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Samsung users are going to be like,

"Samsung has had this feature for years"

I decided to replace my belt with multiple watches connected together.

It was a big waist of time.

Did you know that I hold the World's Record for the smallest penis?

It's really hard to beat...

It's too cold for you here so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater

In the end
You'll be my light in the dark
When the sun goes down

When you stop chasing, they start noticing .

Power corrupts absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Someone once said if you stress about something before it happens, then you’re putting yourself through it twice.

I’m probably not the only one who needed to hear this.

deep inside people know when they do you wrong you ain't gotta tell em