If you live to be 113, you technically become a teen again.

Never laugh at your partner's choices. You are one of them

The sky is jealous of the land because it is so much closer to you.

People who are 31 years old have spent an entire month of their life having birthdays

You've spent hours of your life rubbing a piece of glass.

Kids with strict parents are more likely to survive horror movies because they know how to listen for footsteps.

You are someone's reason for choosing a different username

Your argument is as powerful as your weakest example.

Whatever it costs, don't let your dreams to go away. Ever.

My degree of sarcasm depends on your degree of understanding.

If it wasn't already used for photography, "Selfie" would also make a great term for masturbation.

I sometimes wish we never crossed path.

If a guy who hates reading books is reading your favorite book, marry him

2 reasons I don't give money to homeless people:

1. They would spend it on alcohol.

2. I want to spend it on alcohol.
🙄

Make you enemies fall in love with you.

Sometimes I'm single
sometimes I'm engaged,
sometimes I'm married, it depends on who you are.