If Amazon used like .01% of their profit they could probably protect The Amazon

It's my world too.

Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.

I showed her my strength and she were flabbergasted
I showed her how funny I am and she were cheered
I showed her how lovely i am and she were enlightened

After centuries, when she found out the opposite of these she start questioning everything....
Denying all the things i have done to make comfortable

#subscriber

Your ears “click” every time you swallow

The money in your wallet isn't yours. It's just your turn to spend it.

There are no happy endings.
Endings are the saddest part,
So just give me a happy middle
And a very happy start. -Every Thing on It #bookquotes

It's like I attract the pain.

Seasons change
Feelings fade
People leave
You grow

The only thing that’s worse than being ignored by the other gender is being ignored by automatic door sensors.

Its impossible not to think

Some people think they're better than you because they grew up richer. Some people think they're better than you because they grew up poorer.

Her: You get me wet when you talk to me like that

Me: Yeah babe, you like my sexy voice don't you?

Her: What? No. You spit when you talk. Stop spitting on me!

Dirty dishes are so much grosser in cold water than in hot water.

Maybe I should just start conversations with myself . Ain't no body gonna understand me better .

Self complement is the best motivation!

You think your life is hard? I have to fake laugh at every dumb joke my boss make

Behind every bad dad joke is a dad who just wants to cheer you up.

Theme parks can snap a clear photo of you going 70 mph, but banks can’t get a clear shot of a robber standing still