Literally is turning into slang because people can’t use the word properly
I just finished writing a book on cats
It would have been a lot easier if I had written it on paper though
It would have been a lot easier if I had written it on paper though
Genie: What is your final wish?
Boy: I wish I were you!
Genue: Weurd but alrught.
Boy: I wish I were you!
Genue: Weurd but alrught.
A man is driving along a country road and sees a sign; "$5 for talking dog, take next left."
Thinking this is some sort of joke, the man decides to check it out. So the man takes the left onto a a farm, and a farmer comes out.
F: You here about the dog?
M: Yeah, does the dog really talk?
F: Sure does, come here and I'll show ya.
The man and the farmer walk to the garage, where a dog is lying on a dog bed. It sees them and walks over to them.
F: Go on, ask him anything.
The man says;
M: Alright dog, tell me about yourself.
To the mans surprise, the dog begins to speak, clearly and with proper words, not the typical "arooo you" that you usually hear on the internet.
D: Well, when I was a young pup, I always wanted to serve my country. So, as soon as I could, I enlisted with the airport security as a sniffer dog. I was real good at my job too, got a few promotions and turned some heads. Eventually, the US army picked me up as a bomb-sniffer dog, and I helped prevent tragedies all across the country and oversees. After a while I retired, found myself a nice girl, had a few pups, and finally came to this farm to live out my golden years.
The man is stunned. He says to the farmer:
M: Holy cow, you were right! Why are you only asking $5 for this dog!?
F: Cause he's a liar! He ain't ever done any of that!
Thinking this is some sort of joke, the man decides to check it out. So the man takes the left onto a a farm, and a farmer comes out.
F: You here about the dog?
M: Yeah, does the dog really talk?
F: Sure does, come here and I'll show ya.
The man and the farmer walk to the garage, where a dog is lying on a dog bed. It sees them and walks over to them.
F: Go on, ask him anything.
The man says;
M: Alright dog, tell me about yourself.
To the mans surprise, the dog begins to speak, clearly and with proper words, not the typical "arooo you" that you usually hear on the internet.
D: Well, when I was a young pup, I always wanted to serve my country. So, as soon as I could, I enlisted with the airport security as a sniffer dog. I was real good at my job too, got a few promotions and turned some heads. Eventually, the US army picked me up as a bomb-sniffer dog, and I helped prevent tragedies all across the country and oversees. After a while I retired, found myself a nice girl, had a few pups, and finally came to this farm to live out my golden years.
The man is stunned. He says to the farmer:
M: Holy cow, you were right! Why are you only asking $5 for this dog!?
F: Cause he's a liar! He ain't ever done any of that!
What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter F
The letter F
It's hard to let someone know that they're bad at taking criticsm.
Parents have to keep things PG for their kids, but when their kids become teens, the kids have to keep things PG for their parents.
Everyone has a full size shit inside their body just chillin for a while at some point of the day
Security at an airport is crazy until you get to the baggage claim.Then it’s like you can take any bag you want.
It's crazy how you can be the same age as someone, but at a completely different stage in your life.
Thought For The Day.
People often say “nothing is impossible”
Prove them wrong.
Do nothing all day.
People often say “nothing is impossible”
Prove them wrong.
Do nothing all day.
Ever looked at a couple & be like “ I wonder if they had sex yet "
pros of dating me:
• I'll actually respond to your text
• You can kiss me whenever you want
• We can hold hands
• Cuddles?? Ofc I'm down
• I'll let you play with my hair
• Smooches
• You don't have to worry bout me liking other people cuz I'm annoyed by almost everyone
• I'll actually respond to your text
• You can kiss me whenever you want
• We can hold hands
• Cuddles?? Ofc I'm down
• I'll let you play with my hair
• Smooches
• You don't have to worry bout me liking other people cuz I'm annoyed by almost everyone