Being a meteorologist is probably one of the only jobs where you can consistently fail and not get fired.

@deepthoughts2

"Only Small penis peeing area" would do a great job than "Peeing is prohibited".

@deepthoughts2

What inspires you to get up everyday in the morning?

Me: my bladder

@deepthoughts2

Short person: i think am falling for her

Me: you mean you are rolling for her

@deepthoughts2

You are lying if you say you've never recorded yourself singing because you were sure you had talent and you were deeply dissapointed you delete it and pretend it never happened.

@deepthoughts2

No one:

My dick while am in class: aight am gonna stretch now

@deepthoughts2

No one:

Girl with cold hands: feel how cold my hands are

@deepthoughts2

Boring Classes have given more time for young artists to practice drawing at an early age.

@deepthoughts2

If pretty girls moan during sex do the ugly ones roar🤔

@deepthoughts2

Short couples can't 69 they ea

@deepthoughts2

Wow they ask lots of questions when donating blood!

"Where did you get it? Is it human? Why do you have so many jars of it?"

@deepthoughts2

*me flirting*

Me: let me sniff shiro powder off dem titties

@deepthoughts2

Depressed person: i feel numb and dead
Me: since our outer layer skin cells are dead,aren't we all dead
Depressed person:
Me:

@deepthoughts2

Every time I look in the mirror I see a person I truly hate

And then I realize it's not a mirror, it's a window

@deepthoughts2

The world is full of dreamers that never made it. Love stories that never ended. And broken hearts that were never mended

@deepthoughts2

Eat like no one is going to see you naked

@deepthoughts2

We do not fear love, we fear that love will grow cold and die before we do

@deepthoughts2

My girlfriends dad asked me what
I do. Apparently, "your daughter"
wasn't the right answer.

@deepthoughts2

Thanks to modern-day Porn, the word “Daddy” has irreversibly been spoiled.

@deepthoughts2

That moment after you cum and all her beauty is gone.

@deepthoughts2