I wish I met some people a little earlier, some a little later and some never at all

@deepthoughts2

Don't fall in love just because someone pays a little bit of attention to you

@deepthoughts2

A beautiful funeral doesn't guarantee heaven.
~ #Haitian proverb

@deepthoughts2

Me: Will you still love me even after marriage?

Her: This depends on your husband... if he allows me to.

@deepthoughts2

Trusting you is my decision.
Proving me right is your choice.

@deepthoughts2

Him : what’s your number ?

Me : I told you 0919567594 times that I have a nigga 🙄

@deepthoughts2

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.

Went out.
Had a few drinks.
Nice guy. He is a web designer.

@deepthoughts2

Closed mouths don’t get fed, So you better speak up when you want something

@deepthoughts2

People can't use you if you're useless

@deepthoughts2

When you are dead you don't know you're dead. The pain is only felt by others.
The same thing happens when you're stupid

@deepthoughts2

Be a nice human.

Why is it so much easier to fall asleep on the couch unintentionally then to fall asleep in bed intentionally.

@deepthoughts2

Me: communication is key

Her: aight babe what's wrong

Me: nvm😒

Her:

@deepthoughts2

Dont bring a knife to a gun fight.

@deepthoughts2

Me: *hears laughter 45679 kilometers away*

Me: i bet they laughing at me

@deepthoughts2

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or doesn't text back

@deepthoughts2

You can't die in the living room

@deepthoughts2

People who date our exes always think we hate them. Relax, we don't even care. Its your turn to suffer

@deepthoughts2