People can't use you if you're useless

@deepthoughts2

When you are dead you don't know you're dead. The pain is only felt by others.
The same thing happens when you're stupid

@deepthoughts2

Be a nice human.

Why is it so much easier to fall asleep on the couch unintentionally then to fall asleep in bed intentionally.

@deepthoughts2

Me: communication is key

Her: aight babe what's wrong

Me: nvm😒

Her:

@deepthoughts2

Dont bring a knife to a gun fight.

@deepthoughts2

Me: *hears laughter 45679 kilometers away*

Me: i bet they laughing at me

@deepthoughts2

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or doesn't text back

@deepthoughts2

You can't die in the living room

@deepthoughts2

People who date our exes always think we hate them. Relax, we don't even care. Its your turn to suffer

@deepthoughts2

"The Romans must have not found maths very challenging ,since X was always 10."

@deepthoughts2

I dont know who need to hear this b/t do yourself a favour and take mixed signals as a NO.

@deepthoughts2

remember when your make up was only vaseline?

@deepthoughts2

Following your heart is the surest way of getting lost

@deepthoughts2

I have a negative cash flow position

@deepthoughts2

People: What are you doing with your life?

Me: Nothing

People: You don't know what you are doing with your life???

Me: Oh, I know what I am doing with my life, it is "Nothing!"

@deepthoughts2

ተሳፋሪ: አባት ወራጅ

ረዳት:

ተሳፋሪ:pointing* እዚች ጋ ይኸው እዚች ጋ ጣለኝ

ረዳት: ነካሃት እኮ ተረጋጋ እንጂ

@deepthoughts2

My friend David lost his ID. Now he's just Dav

@deepthoughts2