Be a nice human.

Why is it so much easier to fall asleep on the couch unintentionally then to fall asleep in bed intentionally.

@deepthoughts2

Me: communication is key

Her: aight babe what's wrong

Me: nvm😒

Her:

@deepthoughts2

Dont bring a knife to a gun fight.

@deepthoughts2

Me: *hears laughter 45679 kilometers away*

Me: i bet they laughing at me

@deepthoughts2

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or doesn't text back

@deepthoughts2

You can't die in the living room

@deepthoughts2

People who date our exes always think we hate them. Relax, we don't even care. Its your turn to suffer

@deepthoughts2

"The Romans must have not found maths very challenging ,since X was always 10."

@deepthoughts2

I dont know who need to hear this b/t do yourself a favour and take mixed signals as a NO.

@deepthoughts2

remember when your make up was only vaseline?

@deepthoughts2

Following your heart is the surest way of getting lost

@deepthoughts2

I have a negative cash flow position

@deepthoughts2

People: What are you doing with your life?

Me: Nothing

People: You don't know what you are doing with your life???

Me: Oh, I know what I am doing with my life, it is "Nothing!"

@deepthoughts2

ተሳፋሪ: አባት ወራጅ

ረዳት:

ተሳፋሪ:pointing* እዚች ጋ ይኸው እዚች ጋ ጣለኝ

ረዳት: ነካሃት እኮ ተረጋጋ እንጂ

@deepthoughts2

My friend David lost his ID. Now he's just Dav

@deepthoughts2

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. And if it just sits there on the sofa, watching TV, unaware that it's been set free, you probably married it or gave birth to it😜😜😜

@deepthoughts2

If pooh the bear can wear crop-top so can I

@deepthoughts2

I've accepted the fact that i'll die without understanding
SUDOKU, and im okay with that

@deepthoughts2