Whats the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"

A professional thief says, "Sign here please."

@deepthoughts2

2 reasons I don't give money to homeless people:

1. They would spend it on alcohol.

2. I want to spend it on alcohol.
🙄

Never trust a fat doctor and a skinny chef

We are not made to be free

Not to know is bad. Not wanting to know is worse.

Her: stop correcting me

Me: stop being wrong

if loving you is wrong, i dont wanna be right

If you don’t heal what hurts you, you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you

Having a dirty mind makes ordinary conversations much more interesting😄

Attending a school graduation is like being stuck watching the credits after a movie

Confidence is not "They will like me". Confidence is "I'll be fine if they don't".

No one is you and that's your power

A lot of people probably think that Google is “the internet”

A successful dating app is constantly losing customers.

@Deepthoughts2

Statistically, 100% of Coronavirus patients will die.

Eventually.

@deepthoughts2

Watch this out the epidemic concern vine. And its hilarious😂

Good sense of humor
Dirty mind
and beautiful heart

A deadly combination

@deepthoughts2

Watering a lake makes it grow.

@deepthoughts2

Being alive costs too much money.

@deepthoughts2