Because our higher awarness as evolved/older souls usually does make us more resilient and we aren't impacted in the same way, by knowing who you are and being able to stay anchored in that things do not always effect you in the same way. This is why my conscious soul fractal depite having a lot of past life trauma too was still a lot less disconnected.
And I also think it was my claricognizense that allowed me to stay more free and in clarity.
But this meant that I wasn't always able to relate to humans, I did not understand all those struggles and lower emotions to the same degree I do now, it's very different when you've truly been there.
The victim role is not just about having been in a victimizing experience, but also not being believed about it and being blamed for it, not being able to speak up out of fear of being ridiculed or ostracized, people always taking the side of the perpetrator. Having to the deal with the aftermath without support, being alone with it all, perpetual lack.
Or even becoming the perpetrator ourselves at times.
All these things are crucial aspects.
Forgiving yourself for the self betrayals as well as for succumbing to letting the pain or anger be your driving force, becomes crucial.
Think about what is happening in the collective, the criminals are operating together, organized, we are all alone, we get slandered or discriminated against for standing up, while most people take the sides of the perpetrators. Even when you free yourself from the manipulation you may still feel stuck, be in scarcity, and feel like you can't do anything by yourself alone.
And finally, wanting justice from the very system that fucked us in the first place.
The anger and blame is a big thing to overcome alongside the recovery of our creator consciousness.
I've been wide awake to what goes on collectively, but I was simulanteoulsy healing from the same pains and an awakening to having been a victim of abuse, manipulation, slander, gaslighting and trauma bonding in many lifetimes. The insidiousness goes so deep that it is hard for anyone who hasn't been there to fully understand it, I know I could not fully before I saw and felt all this within my other soul fractal.
People in victim roles tend to blame themselves and were programmed to not trust themselves, the low self worth, shame, fears and dependencies run deep, hence freeing yourself is truly an awakening process and includes recovering your true self, power, sovereinity, sense of safety and abundance.
One of the real difficult aspects were the conflicts I had. Once we were meant to merge again now it I felt as if she would destroy everything if I would let her in and actually allow her to express everything the way she was, I felt like there was too much woundings and dysfunction in her that I really wanted to hide, I was afraid of what it would do to the people I loved, to the life I was trying to build, to my goals and dreams, my mission....
My conscious soul was very much in resistance to the idea of being a victim, and I believed that with all this pain and suffering within me I would be useless... while she wanted to be seen and acklowleged in her pain, she wanted what she never had, that someone loved her and cared about her despite her woundings. Teaching anyone anything wasn't remotely what she felt she was here for, what on earth did she have to say while feeling completely stuck and hopeless most of the time.
But that was part of her purpose, to become so human that she could sympathize with pretty much any other human because she had been there, she had been driven by the same pain and could understood what made them who they were.
Everything I wrote about in my article on the missing link in trauma healing, down to psychopathy, I have seen in myself, everything I understand is only because I lived through it. It is in this life and through this merging process that I am remembering, recovering, healing, and integrating all of it.
And I also think it was my claricognizense that allowed me to stay more free and in clarity.
But this meant that I wasn't always able to relate to humans, I did not understand all those struggles and lower emotions to the same degree I do now, it's very different when you've truly been there.
The victim role is not just about having been in a victimizing experience, but also not being believed about it and being blamed for it, not being able to speak up out of fear of being ridiculed or ostracized, people always taking the side of the perpetrator. Having to the deal with the aftermath without support, being alone with it all, perpetual lack.
Or even becoming the perpetrator ourselves at times.
All these things are crucial aspects.
Forgiving yourself for the self betrayals as well as for succumbing to letting the pain or anger be your driving force, becomes crucial.
Think about what is happening in the collective, the criminals are operating together, organized, we are all alone, we get slandered or discriminated against for standing up, while most people take the sides of the perpetrators. Even when you free yourself from the manipulation you may still feel stuck, be in scarcity, and feel like you can't do anything by yourself alone.
And finally, wanting justice from the very system that fucked us in the first place.
The anger and blame is a big thing to overcome alongside the recovery of our creator consciousness.
I've been wide awake to what goes on collectively, but I was simulanteoulsy healing from the same pains and an awakening to having been a victim of abuse, manipulation, slander, gaslighting and trauma bonding in many lifetimes. The insidiousness goes so deep that it is hard for anyone who hasn't been there to fully understand it, I know I could not fully before I saw and felt all this within my other soul fractal.
People in victim roles tend to blame themselves and were programmed to not trust themselves, the low self worth, shame, fears and dependencies run deep, hence freeing yourself is truly an awakening process and includes recovering your true self, power, sovereinity, sense of safety and abundance.
One of the real difficult aspects were the conflicts I had. Once we were meant to merge again now it I felt as if she would destroy everything if I would let her in and actually allow her to express everything the way she was, I felt like there was too much woundings and dysfunction in her that I really wanted to hide, I was afraid of what it would do to the people I loved, to the life I was trying to build, to my goals and dreams, my mission....
My conscious soul was very much in resistance to the idea of being a victim, and I believed that with all this pain and suffering within me I would be useless... while she wanted to be seen and acklowleged in her pain, she wanted what she never had, that someone loved her and cared about her despite her woundings. Teaching anyone anything wasn't remotely what she felt she was here for, what on earth did she have to say while feeling completely stuck and hopeless most of the time.
But that was part of her purpose, to become so human that she could sympathize with pretty much any other human because she had been there, she had been driven by the same pain and could understood what made them who they were.
Everything I wrote about in my article on the missing link in trauma healing, down to psychopathy, I have seen in myself, everything I understand is only because I lived through it. It is in this life and through this merging process that I am remembering, recovering, healing, and integrating all of it.
And doing so actually made me a better person in the end, she makes me embrace my humanness and I gained more wisdom through that, through her, than I ever could have in all the high consciousness experiences. Lower dimensions are a different kind of reality because it takes much more awareness and work to shift the density, you can't just escape things, so if you really want to get out you need to really get your hands dirty in a way, become comfortable in the darkness, realizing that everything you embrace reconnects you right to your own light.
In the case of a karmic soul mate, based on what I have seen from him in our past lives and based on our soul contracts, it seemed he wanted to explore what it is like to be the perpetrator, the key aspects were always that he never took responsibiltiy for his actions, seemed oblivious or not care at all about the consequences, did things for his own gain, used black magic on me, took me to people who sacrificed me, often times he was also a bystander to others being perpetrators and not doing anything to help me. Of course the perpetrator has been a victim before too that molded him into who he was.
This is something we collectively have to understand: We were part of this world too, we played the same games. Highly evolved, extremely capable, wise souls, set out on their own journey to explore certain experiences, things we may consciously reject, but are curious about and want to understand deeper, things we know are going to be wrong or painful, but we did feel like we needed to learn about them directly to eventually adequatly assist humanity in this evolution. This goes also for those who don't have another soul fractal walk in. We went to explore and are now faced with clearing up all those distortions within ourselves, all the karma and trauma, it's both humbling and empowering.
Seeing ourselves on the deepest levels is the end of separation.
Through our internal alchemy we help shift and recreate the collective consciousness.
It's not about what we know, it's about what we embody."
-AA
In the case of a karmic soul mate, based on what I have seen from him in our past lives and based on our soul contracts, it seemed he wanted to explore what it is like to be the perpetrator, the key aspects were always that he never took responsibiltiy for his actions, seemed oblivious or not care at all about the consequences, did things for his own gain, used black magic on me, took me to people who sacrificed me, often times he was also a bystander to others being perpetrators and not doing anything to help me. Of course the perpetrator has been a victim before too that molded him into who he was.
This is something we collectively have to understand: We were part of this world too, we played the same games. Highly evolved, extremely capable, wise souls, set out on their own journey to explore certain experiences, things we may consciously reject, but are curious about and want to understand deeper, things we know are going to be wrong or painful, but we did feel like we needed to learn about them directly to eventually adequatly assist humanity in this evolution. This goes also for those who don't have another soul fractal walk in. We went to explore and are now faced with clearing up all those distortions within ourselves, all the karma and trauma, it's both humbling and empowering.
Seeing ourselves on the deepest levels is the end of separation.
Through our internal alchemy we help shift and recreate the collective consciousness.
It's not about what we know, it's about what we embody."
-AA