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Timur Mucuraev - In loneliness i am not alone / Lyrics. Тимур Муцураев - в одиночестве я не один

i don't feel like a person

i feel like a pile of flesh, kept together by a bundle of unnecessary and too intense emotions

why is being a human being with feelings so embarrassing?

this is one of the days that i really don't like being me

i don't want to exist
not dying or anything, just... not existing

I don't want to ever have existed

I'm just a kid pretending to be an adult trying not to break down in front of everyone

I've got nothing that attracts ladies(in رابطه context)
ولی خب:

i have nowhere to hide from people, they're just constantly seeing me against my will

بعد از خودم انتظار دارم این وسط پروداکتیو هم باشم و به درسا و کارام هم برسم، لایک؟

تو فعلا نمیر فقط🤡

امروز از اون روزاییه که واقعا دلم نمیخواد وجود داشته باشم، حس میکنم هر لحظه ممکنه مغزم ذوب بشه و از بینیم بریزه بیرون

از اون روزایی که فقط «نه»

Since it is the self- hate night:

I woke up in the night
I found an empty cage
How you got out, I don't know
I guess you clawed your way
You waited there in the shadows
You made me feel afraid
I would have run before
But, nah, nah, not today
Breathe
I close my eyes and count to three
You're only there if I believe
And you're just a monster
Just a monster and I'm not scared
You're just a monster
Just a monster
You're just a monster and I'm not scared
Come on and cut me then
If you really must
Don't you realize that you and I
We bleed the same blood
You've got so much power
And it makes you feel tough
But can you see that all you need
Is just to be loved?
Breathe
Close my eyes and count to three (one, two, three)
And you're just a monster
Just a monster and I'm not scared
You're just a monster
Just a monster
You're just a monster and I'm not scared
You're only in my mind
Yeah, you're only in my mind
Tomorrow I'll be fine
'Cause you're only in my mind
You're only in my mind
Gonna see you one more time, na-na
Only in my mind
Tomorrow I'll be fine
And you're just a monster (monster)
Just a monster
You're just a monster and I'm not scared
You're just a monster (monster)
Just a monster
You're just a monster and I'm not scared