A great IELTS Writing Task 1 answer by a student 🍋

"The charts show how many metric tons of fresh citrus fruit were exported from seven different countries in 2010. Overall, oranges were the most prevalent type of fruit sold overseas, followed by lemons, grapefruits and other types. The two leading countries in terms of total supply volumes were South Africa and the US.

Oranges comprised the highest volume of export (2.6 million metric tons altogether), with South Africa being the leading seller (1 million metric tons). Following closely came Egypt and the US, with about 900,000 and 700,000 metric tons respectively.

Second in popularity were lemons, traded internationally by Turkey and Mexico in almost the same volume: with half a million metric tons by the former and just 50,000 metric tons fewer by the latter. Argentina sold half the volume Turkey did: 250,000 metric tons.

Unlike for lemons, with 1.2 million metric tons sold altogether, the total sum for grapefruits was just about a half of that. The major sellers of this citrus fruit were South Africa, the US and Turkey. The first two countries sold slightly less than a quarter of a million metric tons each, while Turkey was only 50,000 metric tons behind (175,000).

As for unspecified types of citrus fruit, the leading trader was Mexico. Interestingly, it sold 450,000 metric tons, which was exactly the same volume as its lemon export. The other countries that traded other types were Israel and the US, but their exports didn’t exceed 10 metric tons each."

254 words

By Ekaterina Syomina

This is a really good answer for a less-than-good task. First, the scales on each type of fruit are different, which is not very common. Second, paraphrasing “exports” is a bit challenging, as is showing lexis and grammar range. But I think Ekaterina did a great job showing that range.

🍋 See my overview for this task here: https://news.1rj.ru/str/irinalutsenko/420

#Irina_ielts_students #ieltswritingtask1

Conjunctions, elements, and yet another boring post by Irina ⛄️

The post is going to be technical and boring, but I feel compelled to write it because it's about a very common mistake.

So, can you spot the mistake in these sentences?

1️⃣ "They can choose their lifestyle, including their job, dietary behaviour, bad or good habits."

2️⃣ "One or two curse words, ironic or sarcastic phrases dropped innocently every now and then, do not really make a difference when used separately."

3️⃣ "While writing a thesis, we sometimes succumb to common temptations like having another cappuccino with cinnamon, taking a pause to catch up with the news or to read a bit of a recently acquired novel."

Elements on a list. What are they? They can be different things—nouns, verbs, adjectives, phrases—but they are things identical in importance and form.

Some simple examples:
- Two elements: "I like apples and pears."
- Three elements: "I like apples, pears, and kiwis."

In conventional writing, the last element on a list must be connected with "and" or "or" because this indicates the end of the list. Easy-peasy.

But things get complicated when sentences are long and elements are complex.

1️⃣ Let's take this sentence apart: "They can choose their lifestyle, including their job, dietary behaviour, bad or good habits."

Don't let the "or" fool you. One type of elements here is nouns: job, behavior, habits. Another is adjectives: bad, good. The "or" we have connects adjectives. The last noun element doesn't have an "and" or an "or."

Fix: "They can choose their lifestyle, including their job, dietary behaviour, and bad or good habits."

2️⃣ Let's do the same with the second sentence: "One or two curse words, ironic or sarcastic phrases dropped innocently every now and then, do not really make a difference when used separately."

Just like in the previous sentence, some elements are connected, some aren't. The "or"s connect numbers and adjectives. But nouns—words, phrases—are not connected. If we use another "or," however, the sentence would have too many. So I have a more elegant fix.

Fix: "A curse word or a sarcastic phrase dropped innocently every now and then does not really make a difference."

Proper connections between elements are important because they help the reader to identify things that are equal/parallel in value and not to get lost in the sentence.

✏️ You turn.

Can you spot the mistake? How would you rewrite this sentence, making sure to connect elements properly? Try your hand in the comment.

"While writing a thesis, we sometimes succumb to common temptations like having another cappuccino with cinnamon, taking a pause to catch up with the news or to read a bit of a recently acquired novel."

🌸 PS: There is a stylistic device in creative writing called asyndeton—deliberate omission of a conjunction. But this device should be reserved for stylistic purposes and has no place in more conventional types of writing.

CPE, Tashkent, 17 May 🇺🇿📆

One of my students has registered for the C2 Proficiency exam on 17 May in Tashkent (exam center at Novza).

If you've been thinking of taking CPE, register for the same date and prepare together. How cool would it be to take the test with someone you'd met before? (Very cool!)

The student is great—she will get an A, no doubt.

Dm me so that I can give you her contact. @iraluts 💌

📝 Avoiding repetitions

This is what we need when we write for exams. The main way many people rely on is synonyms—a valid way, but not the only one. What else is there?

Since I am a teacher through and through, I prepared a great exercise (in my opinion, at least) for my writing students.

1️⃣
I took a paragraph from a New Scientist article and removed all the good ways, adding repetitions instead. I asked students to rewrite the paragraph, making sure to avoid repetitions.

"Another idea that purports to explain our love of the wild is known as attention restoration theory. In a nutshell, it says that our ability to pay attention is restored by time in nature. Attention can be divided into two types of attention: involuntary attention, in which our attention is captured by intriguing or important stimuli (an intimate conversation between a couple sitting at a table behind you in a cafe, for instance), and directed or voluntary attention, where you actively pay attention to something (the book you were trying to read before you started eavesdropping). Voluntary attention requires what psychologists call top-down control, which means that our thoughts are regulating our actions."

2️⃣
And here is the original.

"Another idea that purports to explain our love of the wild is known as attention restoration theory. In a nutshell, it says that our ability to concentrate is restored by time in nature. Attention can be divided into two types: involuntary, in which our attention is captured by intriguing or important stimuli (an intimate conversation between a couple sitting at a table behind you in a cafe, for instance), and directed or voluntary attention, where you actively focus on something (the book you were trying to read before you started eavesdropping). The latter requires what psychologists call top-down control, which means that our thoughts are regulating our actions."

So, what ways does the original writer use? Would you have paraphrased some phrases differently?

📝 This just a tiny little glimpse of what we do in my "Writing with New Scientist" course. We learn from professional writers and build the writing skill thoroughly, with carefully crafted exercises.

📝 Schedules, levels, testimonials, and more details: https://vk.com/market/product/writing-with-new-scientist-47977221-5061302

☂️ Link to the article "Blue Therapy" ☂️

❤️ IELTS Writing Task 2: Paragraph Rewrite ❤️

First and foremost: I love writing. I love rewriting. I love teaching writing. ❤️

Now, on to IELTS.

The paragraph below was written by a student. It's not a bad paragraph—the ideas are there, and so is a lot of good language. But why don't we improve the flow and tone the language down? 🎵

Topic: "More and more people say that they do not feel safe when they leave home. Why is this? What could be done to address this issue?"

✏️ Body paragraph 1: Original paragraph by a student

"Granted, this world has never been a perfectly safe place to live in, but never before has this imperfection seen such abundant evidence, distorting people’s perception of the environment beyond the walls of their homes. Nowadays, hardly a minute passes after a terrorist attack, a fatal car accident or even a casual brawl, when all the media start bombarding their vulnerable users with shocking headlines and damning reports, all of which subtly, but inevitably alter the human psyche – fragile and highly perceptive to everything that may compromise our safety in the street. While journalists and reporters are having a field day, intentionally exaggerating the extent of incidents and amplifying feelings of sorrow or horror in a bid to get more views, people cannot help but extrapolate these negative experiences to their own lives, thus becoming apprehensive, insecure or even paranoid about what might happen outside."

✏️ Body paragraph 1: My rewrite

"The main reason for the people's fear is the distorted perception of the world, which, in turn, stems from increased exposure to bad news. Nowadays, hardly a minute passes after a terrorist attack, a fatal car accident, or even a casual brawl, when all the media start bombarding their vulnerable users with reports of these events. This is only exacerbated by the fact that journalists and news editors often intentionally exaggerate the extent of the incidents and amplify feelings of sorrow or horror in order to get more views. The audiences, however, cannot help but extrapolate these negative incidences to their own lives, thus becoming apprehensive, insecure or even paranoid about what might happen outside."

Now the paragraph has the same ideas, but it flows better and is less emotional.

#ieltswritingtask2 #ieltswriting

Tiny words and cool sentences for writing 💡

Even though some sesquipedalian words are certainly pulchritudinous, I am a huge fan of tiny and deceptively familiar words, like "so" or "if" or "one." These words can sometimes be harder to use than sesquipedalian ones.

Here are seven sentences from my recent quizzes. Check yourself one more time. Do you remember all these words and phrases? Do you understand the meanings? More importantly, do you share my love for such tiny words?

1️⃣ "Another possible, if more controversial, explanation for the benefits of blue spaces goes back much deeper into our evolutionary past."

2️⃣ "Another big question is one being voiced by many people excited by semaglutide's widespread effects: could everyone benefit from it in some way?"

3️⃣ "We tend to be optimistic about our own lives. We are also optimistic, although less so, about our family and friends."

4️⃣ "The behaviour of simple animals like fruit flies is usually assumed to be highly deterministic, involving reflexive responses to external stimuli. In fact, it is anything but."

5️⃣ "But as the technology evolved, so too did an extraordinary idea."

6️⃣ "... if we can formalise enough proofs so Als can access them, we could train these systems such that they can themselves generate proofs more quickly, and maybe even more effectively, than we can."

7️⃣ "The scientists reasoned that, for a given statement to count as common sense, the majority of people would have to agree that it was, and individuals would also need to be aware that other people viewed it as such."

The source of all these sentences is the "New Scientist" magazine. I have a whole writing course based on articles from this magazine. The patterns above are just a tiny glimpse of what we do in this course. Click to find out more and 💌 @iraluts.

So, how did you do? Do you know all these patterns? More importantly, do you love them?

IELTS Writing Task 2: Staying on Topic 💡

As usual, I won't hand you the answer on a silver platter. I'll invite you to think first.

Below are two short excepts with the same key argument. Which one seems on topic and which one seems off topic? Why?

Topic: "Many students find it harder to study when they are at university or college than when they were at school. Why is this? What can be done to solve the problem?"

1️⃣
"The second reason is that students often find part-time jobs when they are at university. In many countries, tertiary education is not free, and tuition fees are exorbitant, which means students have to start working very early to put themselves through college. In countries where higher education itself is free, students still have to get jobs to cover their living costs as the stipends or financial aid are typically not high enough to cover rent, food, and entertainment."

2️⃣
"The second reason is that students often find part-time jobs when they are at university. Whether they do so to cover tuition fees or to earn some pocket money, the result is that they fall behind on their studies as they do not have the time to do what is required, for example, to attend lectures, to complete the background reading, or to do the proper research for their writing assignments. As a consequence, the amount of material they have to cover piles up each week, making it harder to catch up and to progress."

See how the same key argument can go in different directions?

The first piece goes off topic because it focuses on money. The second piece stays on topic because it focuses on studies. 💡

To help yourself stay on topic, brainstorm for some things typically associated with the topic. What do people do when they study at university? They go to lectures, they read text books, they do writing assignments etc. Connect your key argument to these things.

PS: Yes, I know "pile up" and "catch up" are too informal, but my brain is not braining this morning. What would you use instead?

#ieltswriting #ieltswritingtask2

Cohesion, grammar, and lexis at a leisurely pace combined with in-depth ideas—what can be better to build your writing skills?

My unique writing course "Writing with New Scientist" is a writing course based on academic articles and geared towards IELTS writing and academic writing in general. A perfect pre- or post- #IELTS course! And now a #CPE track!

📝 C2, CPE track, experienced writers:

Saturday 11-12:30 Moscow time

Course instructor Irina Lutsenko

📝 C1, brand new group, IELTS track:

Thursday 12:30-14:00 Moscow time

Course instructor Anastasia Beisova

Testimonials, schedules and more details at: https://vk.com/market/product/writing-with-new-scientist-47977221-5061302

💌 @iraluts

IELTS Writing Task 2: Repetition or development? 🐼

Repeating rather than developing an idea is a Task Response weakness I talk about on a regular basis in my IELTS classes.

And, as usual, to vividly illustrate this weakness, I write two excerpts on the same topic. Here is an example. Which excerpt repeats the ideas and which one develops them? ❓

Topic: "The numbers of plants and animals is decreasing in most countries. Why is this happening? What can be done about it?"

1️⃣
"Both reasons for this development stem from human activities. The first one is that as the population of the planet grows, people increasingly encroach on territories where wildlife lives. They do so because they have to invade plant and animal habitats, and since the number of people is high, it, in essence, replaces biodiversity. After intruding into natural environments, people cause flora and fauna to die out due to human intervention."

2️⃣
"Both reasons for this development stem from human activities. The first one is that as the population of the planet grows, people increasingly encroach on territories where wildlife lives. They do so for a range of purposes, from construction and expansion of cities to clearing the land for farming and agriculture. These activities either obliterate flora and fauna entirely or cause them to move to new habitats, where they might not necessarily survive."

KEY: The first excerpt repeats the same idea over and over again—in different words. The second one develops it.

Don't let paraphrasing or fancy language fool you—or don't fool yourself by thinking that if you've written something complex, you've developed your ideas.

"Development" means adding new bits of information—examples, comparisons, causes, effects, definitions, you name it—in every clause or sentence so that the paragraph moves forward. 🐼

#ieltswritingtask2 #ieltswriting

Attaching an example of a typical worksheet in my "Writing with New Scientist" course.

Each worksheet is different. This one is 13 pages long (!!!!!) and contains an #IELTS Writing Task 1 process task. 🎀

My unique "Writing with New Scientist" course is a solid, thorough writing course very rich in language and cohesion. It's designed to take your writing to the next level. A perfect pre- or post-IELTS or -CPE course.

✏️ Worksheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JJVxEWgLj8DFA9qb43ZLKUjReUNXrzNYpvB4D3eWhb0/edit?tab=t.0

✏️ Link to the magazine with the article.

💌 @iraluts
🎀 https://news.1rj.ru/str/irinalutsenko

IELTS Writing Task 1: writing about exceptions 📊

If you've seen enough #IELTS tasks, you'll know that most of them contain exceptions—one category that is different.

For example, a line graph where three lines go down, but one goes up. Or a bar chart about men and women where the figure for men is higher in all the groups, but in one the figure for women is higher. Things like that.

Here are some phrases you can use to talk about exceptions in IELTS Writing Task 1:

1️⃣ except / with the exception of ...

2️⃣ ... was the only (category) to have witnessed a decrease

3️⃣ all (categories) but (one) saw growth

4️⃣ (This country), however, bucked the trend ...

5️⃣ Unlike the rest (of the categories), (this one) saw ...

6️⃣ (This category) stands out because ...

To practice the patterns above, write a sentence with one of them about the task in the picture. Use the "spoiler" feature so that other subscribers don't see your sentence immediately and have a chance to practice too.

And if you can think of more phrases for exceptions, share in the comments. ❤️

#ieltswritingtask1 🌸 @irinalutsenko

💡 Insights about writing college applications 💡

Our awesome course "Writing College Applications" with our awesome American instructor is in full swing. 🇺🇸

Here are some super-useful brainstorming techniques that will help you find what to write about in your application.

1️⃣ Values
- List your values for 10 minutes.
- Go through and identify 5-7 values you’d really like to share.
- For each of these, come up with 1-2 life experiences you can use to demonstrate these values.

2️⃣ Who are you?
- Take 10 minutes to list nouns/noun phrases to describe you.
- Try to move beyond the obvious options (family relations, nationality, job, etc.).
- Identify the top 3 you want to highlight.
- Identify 3 you’re trying to build up and reflect on how you’re trying to build that in your life.

3️⃣ Timeline
- Create a timeline of the last 3-4 years of your life.
- Include all of the most important/informative events of each year.
- Pull out a few key events and list the values that these events demonstrate.

Once you’ve identified what you would like to highlight, go back and compare what you want to show with what you need to show. Now you're all set to write.

Even though our course is about writing college applications, these techniques are super-useful for many kinds of writing that require self-presentation.

💡 More insights from this course:

- https://news.1rj.ru/str/irinalutsenko/469

- https://news.1rj.ru/str/irinalutsenko/464

IELTS Writing Task 1: Commas with relative clauses in maps 🏝

Commas with relative clauses are one of the most common mistakes I have to correct. Most grammar books will tell you: "If the information is essential (necessary etc), you don't need commas. If the information is not essential (necessary etc), you need commas."

And then students spend valuable time racking their brains whether the information is essential—and then make mistakes anyway.

I explain this topic in a different way: It all boils down to whether there is one of something or more than one of something.

1️⃣ "The entrance, which was located in the western wing, was renovated." = There is only one entrance in the building. The relative clause provides a side comment.

2️⃣ "The entrance which was located in the western wing was renovated." = There are several entrances. Without the specification in the relative clause, the reader won't understand what entrance I mean.

To help you better understand this, here is an exercise. The two excerpts about the task above contain relative clauses. Do you need the commas? ❓

1️⃣ The first lava flow took place on 6 May and affected the western part of the town. Before the eruption there used to be a town square with houses around it. The whole square was buried under lava. The lava, however, did not reach the coastal line, so the houses [1] which were located along it were untouched. Another construction that was not destroyed was the castle [2] which was located in the central part of the town.

2️⃣ The eruption resulted in two large lava flows, one on 6 May and one on 12 May, affecting the western and eastern parts respectively. The first flow [3] which reached much of the coastal line buried the square and most of the buildings, with the only ones remaining intact being the castle and a few right on the coast. The flow [4] which reached the town six days later did not cause structural damage to any infrastructure.

KEY

[1] No comma_
[2] A comma__
[3] Commas__
[4] No commas

PS: My IELTS Task 1 pictures, including this one, are real tasks. They look oh so cute because they are drawn by my wonderful colleague Anna Skopina. 🏝

#ieltswritingtask1