The haters will call me nevrotic (they're so real for that)

There's a parallel universe in which my job is taking reddit AITA stories to turn them into teary fan fictions

Fuck marry kill:
Mothman, a double cheeseburger, gravity

So many people want to fuck gravity but no one wants to marry it

She's just like m-*gunshot*

I am dying for this collab

The haters will say my boobs are perfect (they may hate me but they can't deny the truth)