If I had a nickel for every wlw ship where one of them is green…
https://redd.it/1pysny6
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https://redd.it/1pysny6
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From the actuallesbians community on Reddit: If I had a nickel for every wlw ship where one of them is green…
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It’s no longer for me but it’s unfair to my husband so I’m anxiously opening up a different option
We’ve been poly since the day we met until now. Even while I was pregnant and when we had our baby.
The baby is 7 months old now and we love her so deeply. Because of this though we broke it off with our past relationships because they no longer fit into our new lifestyles and they understood. This didn’t mean that we were no longer poly, it just meant that for the time being we were focusing on our baby. Especially with her needing me 24/7 to feed.
Now that she’s 7 months old, we have a nanny in the day time, and sleeps throughout the night… I recognize that my husband is antsy and interested in looking for a new relationship again.
The problem is that I’m not. I feel fulfilled. I don’t want to meet anyone new, I don’t want to widen my social circle, I don’t want to open my heart to someone else nor do I care very much to have sexual relations with anyone else either. Not just in the sense of wanting monogamy but more in the sense of just wanting to be a mother and just a mother.
I’m now in this position where I feel that if I ask to stop being poly because of what I want for myself and how I want my baby to grow up I feel awfully unfair and selfish to this person who I have promised a certain lifestyle to when we met.
And so I’m in an odd place. I’m constantly anxious. Constantly sad. Constantly worried.
He’s kind and he says that he would never leave us for anyone, which is true because we were poly strongly for years and it was never an issue of being left. But he says that this is how he has always been. He has never been monogamous. He has always had a need for more.
I thought that it’s unfair for him to stop just because I want to. But I want to. I want to stay at home and be with my child and hopefully with her father too. But he wants more.
I feel absolutely dumb now, like I never lived through polyamory before or like I never knew the boundaries and rules. Suddenly there are brand new anxieties like what if I’m at home making sure we don’t overspend because we have a kid and I want to save for her so I eat sausages and rice for dinner while he’s outside on a dinner date eating steak with his girlfriend. Or what if I’m up late taking care of a sick baby but he’s unreachable because it’s his promised day with his other partner. What if me and the baby are out for a walk and he was out on a walk with his girlfriend too and she sees her dad and she runs to her dad and then it becomes a whole situation of “why isn’t dad coming with us?” And WHY isn’t he coming with us? Why SHOULDNT he come with us? If he has the time… why SHOULDNT it be with us?
I’m feeling so stupid. None of these existed before I was pregnant and even when I was pregnant, not even right after. Just now that I realize we’re gearing back up for it…
I promise I did not see this coming. We were great! We had partners, we were happy, we were secure and at peace. We didn’t discuss what would happen after the baby because frankly our lifestyle was sustainable even while I was pregnant. It only really stopped because after the baby we were just so BUSY and preoccupied and TIRED. I didn’t think there would be a shift in my brain! And unfortunately just MINE.
Need advice.
https://redd.it/1pyplfd
@reddit_pride
We’ve been poly since the day we met until now. Even while I was pregnant and when we had our baby.
The baby is 7 months old now and we love her so deeply. Because of this though we broke it off with our past relationships because they no longer fit into our new lifestyles and they understood. This didn’t mean that we were no longer poly, it just meant that for the time being we were focusing on our baby. Especially with her needing me 24/7 to feed.
Now that she’s 7 months old, we have a nanny in the day time, and sleeps throughout the night… I recognize that my husband is antsy and interested in looking for a new relationship again.
The problem is that I’m not. I feel fulfilled. I don’t want to meet anyone new, I don’t want to widen my social circle, I don’t want to open my heart to someone else nor do I care very much to have sexual relations with anyone else either. Not just in the sense of wanting monogamy but more in the sense of just wanting to be a mother and just a mother.
I’m now in this position where I feel that if I ask to stop being poly because of what I want for myself and how I want my baby to grow up I feel awfully unfair and selfish to this person who I have promised a certain lifestyle to when we met.
And so I’m in an odd place. I’m constantly anxious. Constantly sad. Constantly worried.
He’s kind and he says that he would never leave us for anyone, which is true because we were poly strongly for years and it was never an issue of being left. But he says that this is how he has always been. He has never been monogamous. He has always had a need for more.
I thought that it’s unfair for him to stop just because I want to. But I want to. I want to stay at home and be with my child and hopefully with her father too. But he wants more.
I feel absolutely dumb now, like I never lived through polyamory before or like I never knew the boundaries and rules. Suddenly there are brand new anxieties like what if I’m at home making sure we don’t overspend because we have a kid and I want to save for her so I eat sausages and rice for dinner while he’s outside on a dinner date eating steak with his girlfriend. Or what if I’m up late taking care of a sick baby but he’s unreachable because it’s his promised day with his other partner. What if me and the baby are out for a walk and he was out on a walk with his girlfriend too and she sees her dad and she runs to her dad and then it becomes a whole situation of “why isn’t dad coming with us?” And WHY isn’t he coming with us? Why SHOULDNT he come with us? If he has the time… why SHOULDNT it be with us?
I’m feeling so stupid. None of these existed before I was pregnant and even when I was pregnant, not even right after. Just now that I realize we’re gearing back up for it…
I promise I did not see this coming. We were great! We had partners, we were happy, we were secure and at peace. We didn’t discuss what would happen after the baby because frankly our lifestyle was sustainable even while I was pregnant. It only really stopped because after the baby we were just so BUSY and preoccupied and TIRED. I didn’t think there would be a shift in my brain! And unfortunately just MINE.
Need advice.
https://redd.it/1pyplfd
@reddit_pride
Reddit
From the polyamory community on Reddit
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