BREAKING: We've just been informed this was stolen from nixcraft and given to us. Nixcraft, we're so sorry, please don't beat us up after school

Babyvx is currently compiling. However, the compiler is poorly optimized and the estimated time remaining is roughly 6.5 months.

a video demonstration of modern day windows security patches

Dear gay4smellyvx,

It was a truly epic gamer move that you were cheating in Call of Duty. We're sorry for your loss.

R.I.P.

This person is lying on their resume and claiming to work for vx-underground. It makes zero sense.

1. vx-underground doesn't have contractors.
2. We don't have a security strategy
3. We don't have any sort of policies... or policy management
4. We don't do risk management, or risk assessments
5. We don't do compliance stuff. We have nothing to comply with
6. We don't do incident response
7. We don't do security awareness training
8. We don't deal with vendors
9. We don't do security monitoring, there is nothing to monitor
10. We don't do any sort of security governance, there is no one to report security governance to
11. We don't do continuous improvement

vx-underground is a free website, not a fortune 500 company.

Airliners now let you sit on the wings of the aircraft (or maybe this is a bug in the ticket purchasing software, hard to tell)

Good morning, evening, or night.

Instead of working today we're just going to scream out the window as loud as possible.

Thanks,

"why do you guys make such weird posts??"

Because we've been discussing malware, collecting malware, writing malware, reversing malware, reviewing malware, reading about malware — anything and everything malware for years.

It has fundamentally corrupted our minds

Schools need to stop teaching kids malware is like, 'trojans', and 'worms', etc. It's not 1996 anymore.

New malware types:
- Ransomware
- Loaders
- Information Stealers
- Piles of shit that doesn't work
- RATs

Win32.PileOfShit.xy-4aed2e104fbcf37c57b6f1039541de2d8e0898b26353f5dab9bc5a9a10f47744

Updates:

Administrative:
- We're still in the process of correcting our downstream mass-oopsie we performed. We identified over 500,000 corrupt malware samples we shared ... we accidentally prepended 'file=' in the raw binary data. Oops. We're almost done restoring all the damage we've caused. It's only taken us 8 days++--;

- All harddrive purchases from April, 2024 have been finalized. Moving forward all drives will be pre-cloned so there is no waiting period — we just mail it out. We're learning, kind of.

Families:
- AgentTesla
- Android.Anubis
- Android.Joker
- Android.SpyNote
- AsyncRAT
- BatchWiper
- FormBook
- GPCodeRansomware
- LockbitRansomware
- Mirai
- RedLine
- Remcos
- SkuldStealer
- SnakeKeylogger
- Turla
- XenoRAT
- XWorm

Today TheRecordMedia released an article regarding Ford's new patent: targeted advertisements by actively monitoring and listening to passengers conversations.

It sounds bad, but reading the article it's actually x100 worse.

More information: https://therecord.media/ford-patent-application-in-vehicle-listening-advertising

tl;dr it's cool and badass when your car parses your conversations to determine vehicle passengers, passengers name, locations, traveling speed, objects of interest around them, road conditions, traffic, etc. then sells it to advertisers and data collection groups

Someone tailgating you? Sitting in traffic and bored? Say no more, fam. Thanks to HengersCS you can now educate people on the password while driving.

the people behind you trying to read the tiny ass font:

POV: Your manager is part of The Com

Hello,

We've finished correcting the colossal oopsie we created. We're in the process of correcting the MalwareIngestion bulk releases.

Files are being synced on VirusTotal again.

tl;dr back to getting millions of malwares

Today the United States Department of Justice announced the conviction of Remy St. Felix. St. Felix is accused of being the mastermind behind a string of violent home invasions targeting individuals possessing large quantities of cryptocurrency.

Prosecutors state St. Felix targeted crypto holders in North Carolina, Florida, Texas, and New York.

Due to the violence of the actions — including assaulting victims, zip-tying them, holding them at a gunpoint, and threatening to murder their family, St. Felix is facing charges for; conspiracy, kidnapping, Hobbs Act robbery, wirefraud, and brandishing a firearm in furtherance of a crime of violence. He is facing a maximum sentence of life in prison.

More information: https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/man-convicted-violent-home-invasion-robberies-steal-cryptocurrency

how to write cool malware

1. come up with idea
2. write basic shit code, hurts eyes
3. refine it, make less ugly
4. slowly increase complexity
5. refine it, make it beautiful
6. release it, pretend to understand it