Proof: https://archive.ph/aa3eD

United States adversaries trying to decipher the hidden meaning behind "asdfasdfasdf" (it's a secret code word) (it's actually an underpaid military person smashing the keyboard)

meanwhile on temu

We hope in the near future there will be dozens upon dozens of cybersecurity nerds who attribute the weird spooky malware people on Twitter for their career success (from giveaways, or the library)

Oh my God. It actually worked. Someone learned the password. It's a Christmas miracle.

Hello,

Some nerd messaged us saying their dog has spleen cancer and is asking for donations for medical care.

Please consider donating to doggie. Also, note it is donation protected so if you think it's sketchy you can get a refund.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-save-my-beloved-roxy-she-needs-surgery-treatme

500 drones each the size of fire trucks just busted through my living room ceiling

POV: you work in tech

There was a shooter in Wisconsin, United States. The shooter killed 2 people and left 6 injured.

The shooter is getting flamed online. Partially for the shooting, partially because the shooter published his manifesto on a Google doc and forgot to make it public.

Basterlord,

Я потерял вашу контактную информацию. Можете ли вы написать мне в Telegram? Вы знаете секретный пароль, который нужно использовать.

Thank you to the person who called us homosexuals from a compromised Italian government e-mail.

We haven't received an e-mail from a compromised government e-mail in a few months.

Today Lockbit ransomware group released a lengthy statement threatening Christopher Wray, the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Except... Christopher Wray resigned yesterday.

Announced his resignation***

Resign is misleading, implies effective immediately.

> need to find DM
> checks twitter DMs
* boss music starts playing *

ya im a professional malware analyst (i throw the sample in triage or virustotal and hope it tells me something)

> check emails
> email from breachedforum
> get called homosexual african american
> *scroll*
> another email from compromised italian gov email
> long manifesto
> ???

Lockbit ransomware group is advertising Lockbit 4.0.

We requested access to join their platform and, because we can't pay, we are offering them 9 (nine) limited edition cat pictures.

Will this work? Will Lockbit get mad?

Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z

> Lockbit ransomware group bought Lockbit4-dot-com through Cloudflare!

Wrong. They advertised the domain but left it available for purchase. Someone bought it. No idea who could have done such a thing.