lgbt, mental health, socialization
"I'm gonna say it here too. Allow me to be crystal fucking clear.
It is not cowardly to stay in the closet. Full stop. You do not owe anyone any part of yourself you aren't ready to share
If you unable to come out because you fear for your safety or well-being or because you know it will cause you substantial discomfort, that is not a defect in you. It's a failure of the society in which you live and the community
surrounding you.
If you just don't want to share that part of yourself, that is valid and i support you"
"I'm gonna say it here too. Allow me to be crystal fucking clear.
It is not cowardly to stay in the closet. Full stop. You do not owe anyone any part of yourself you aren't ready to share
If you unable to come out because you fear for your safety or well-being or because you know it will cause you substantial discomfort, that is not a defect in you. It's a failure of the society in which you live and the community
surrounding you.
If you just don't want to share that part of yourself, that is valid and i support you"
❤3
abuse, ptsd, mental health, socialization
"You are not obligated to forgive your
abusers.
Not if they're dying.
Not if they've found Jesus.
Not if they beg.
Not if they just want to know your kids.
You do not owe your abusers anything. It is not an act of aggression to close the door and never look back."
"You are not obligated to forgive your
abusers.
Not if they're dying.
Not if they've found Jesus.
Not if they beg.
Not if they just want to know your kids.
You do not owe your abusers anything. It is not an act of aggression to close the door and never look back."
❤4
ptsd, mental health
"Signs you are healing from trauma
-You are aware of your triggers and patterns
-You are not as easily and intensily triggered
-Quicker return to your normal state after you've gone into fight/flight/freeze
-Your emotional intelligence has improved
-Feelings of powerlessness and helplessness change into confidence, worthiness and inner strength
-Selfsabotage, shame and guilt are diminishing
-Feelings of being stuck turn into realisation that taking a step forward is possible"
"Signs you are healing from trauma
-You are aware of your triggers and patterns
-You are not as easily and intensily triggered
-Quicker return to your normal state after you've gone into fight/flight/freeze
-Your emotional intelligence has improved
-Feelings of powerlessness and helplessness change into confidence, worthiness and inner strength
-Selfsabotage, shame and guilt are diminishing
-Feelings of being stuck turn into realisation that taking a step forward is possible"
❤3
"kids who arent fed kindness with a spoon learn to lick it off knives"
be kind to your inner child
be kind to your inner child
🔥7
depression, mental health, self compassion, "run the dishwasher twice"
"when i was at one of my lowest (mental) points in my life, i couldnt get out of bed some days. i had no energy or motivation and i was barely getting by, and i had therapy once per week"
[full tranoscription in comments]
"when i was at one of my lowest (mental) points in my life, i couldnt get out of bed some days. i had no energy or motivation and i was barely getting by, and i had therapy once per week"
[full tranoscription in comments]
❤4
abuse, mental health, survivorship bias
" "the trauma made you kind" fuck that. no. i am kind because i cannot allow anyone to go through what i did. i am soft because i chose to be.
Trauma made me scared, angry, and vulnerable.
I made myself kind.
“Ten spears go to battle," he whispered, "and nine shatter. Did the war forge the one that remained? No, Amaram. All the war did was identify the spear that would not break.”
- Brandon Sanderson’s Oathbringer "
" "the trauma made you kind" fuck that. no. i am kind because i cannot allow anyone to go through what i did. i am soft because i chose to be.
Trauma made me scared, angry, and vulnerable.
I made myself kind.
“Ten spears go to battle," he whispered, "and nine shatter. Did the war forge the one that remained? No, Amaram. All the war did was identify the spear that would not break.”
- Brandon Sanderson’s Oathbringer "
👏10👍1
mental health, socialization
"Triggers are like allergies.
An allergy is an extreme sensitivity to something that might not bother most people.
There are common ones and rare ones
They range from mildly annoying to life threatening, depending on the degree of sensitivity
Not everyone has them. Some people might have several
There's no need to include allergy warnings when your audience is small and well known and you know no one present is allergic to anything you're bringing.
When your audience is wider or unknown, it's courteous to include warnings for the more common ones (peanuts, milk). Because better safe than sorry.
If you find out that someone with a rarer one might be present, you should include warnings for things you usually wouldn't (cayenne pepper, mint).
It you set off an allergic reaction, you apologize even if you didn't know they had that allergy, you do what you can to help. and you take care not to do it again.
Teasing someone for having one is stupid
People don't choose to have them. and those that have them wish they didn't
Faking one that you don't have is bad form.
And if you intentionally expose an allergic person to something you know they are allergic to, you are an ASSHOLE."
"Triggers are like allergies.
An allergy is an extreme sensitivity to something that might not bother most people.
There are common ones and rare ones
They range from mildly annoying to life threatening, depending on the degree of sensitivity
Not everyone has them. Some people might have several
There's no need to include allergy warnings when your audience is small and well known and you know no one present is allergic to anything you're bringing.
When your audience is wider or unknown, it's courteous to include warnings for the more common ones (peanuts, milk). Because better safe than sorry.
If you find out that someone with a rarer one might be present, you should include warnings for things you usually wouldn't (cayenne pepper, mint).
It you set off an allergic reaction, you apologize even if you didn't know they had that allergy, you do what you can to help. and you take care not to do it again.
Teasing someone for having one is stupid
People don't choose to have them. and those that have them wish they didn't
Faking one that you don't have is bad form.
And if you intentionally expose an allergic person to something you know they are allergic to, you are an ASSHOLE."
👏6❤2
mental health, socialization, self compassion
"someone who drowns in 7 feet of water is just as dead as someone who drowns in 20 feet of water. stop comparing traumas, stop belitting your or anyone else's trauma because it wasnt "as bad" as someone else's. This isn't a competition, we all deserve support and recovery."
"someone who drowns in 7 feet of water is just as dead as someone who drowns in 20 feet of water. stop comparing traumas, stop belitting your or anyone else's trauma because it wasnt "as bad" as someone else's. This isn't a competition, we all deserve support and recovery."
👍11
story time
admin was once in charge, with some other adults, of devising a punishment for a group of teenagers, 17-19yo maybe. they basically went out of their way to do things they werent supposed to do, and ended up arriving over an hour late to lunchtime, where a lot of other people waited for them to arrive for over half an hour before starting the meal
the "adults" group had a brief meeting about what could be an appropriate punishment, and over and over again, they would think of bad punishment. "we could make them eat under the sunlight instead of under the shadow". "how about we leave them without dessert?". "tomorrow we will make them wake up an hour early". those all were rejected because you arent supposed to fucking harm kids. no physical punishment. no playing with the food access, under any circumstances. putting them under a summer sunlight in high heat hours was, definitively, not acceptable. and it was made clear the sort of punishment ideas that were going to be rejected, yet still mostly everyone kept returning to them, because they had a hard time to think of an actual real, normal, acceptable punishment.
and admin thinks about that experience often. everyone who is in charge of other alive beings should constantly reevaluate what they do. it is extended practice to limit access to food to kids as a punishment, even if it is just "no dessert", but sometimes they lost access to a whole dinner for example. and that is not acceptable. if anyone here, at any point, has thought that food is a privilege that kids, or adult people, or animals, can lose just because they did something "bad", they need to reevaluate themselves
admin was once in charge, with some other adults, of devising a punishment for a group of teenagers, 17-19yo maybe. they basically went out of their way to do things they werent supposed to do, and ended up arriving over an hour late to lunchtime, where a lot of other people waited for them to arrive for over half an hour before starting the meal
the "adults" group had a brief meeting about what could be an appropriate punishment, and over and over again, they would think of bad punishment. "we could make them eat under the sunlight instead of under the shadow". "how about we leave them without dessert?". "tomorrow we will make them wake up an hour early". those all were rejected because you arent supposed to fucking harm kids. no physical punishment. no playing with the food access, under any circumstances. putting them under a summer sunlight in high heat hours was, definitively, not acceptable. and it was made clear the sort of punishment ideas that were going to be rejected, yet still mostly everyone kept returning to them, because they had a hard time to think of an actual real, normal, acceptable punishment.
and admin thinks about that experience often. everyone who is in charge of other alive beings should constantly reevaluate what they do. it is extended practice to limit access to food to kids as a punishment, even if it is just "no dessert", but sometimes they lost access to a whole dinner for example. and that is not acceptable. if anyone here, at any point, has thought that food is a privilege that kids, or adult people, or animals, can lose just because they did something "bad", they need to reevaluate themselves
❤13👍3👎1