invisible problems
"so grief is like this
there is a box with a ball in it, and a pain button
in the beggining, the ball is huge. you cant move the box without the ball hitting the pain button. it rattles around on its own and in there and hits the button over and over. you cant control it - it just keeps hurting. sometimes it seems unrelenting
over time, the ball gets smaller. it hits the button less and less but when it does, it hurts just as much. its better because you can function day to day more easily. but the downside is that the ball randomly hits that button when you least expect it
for most people, the ball never really goes away. it might hit less and less and you have more time to recover between hits, unlike when the ball was still giant"
"so grief is like this
there is a box with a ball in it, and a pain button
in the beggining, the ball is huge. you cant move the box without the ball hitting the pain button. it rattles around on its own and in there and hits the button over and over. you cant control it - it just keeps hurting. sometimes it seems unrelenting
over time, the ball gets smaller. it hits the button less and less but when it does, it hurts just as much. its better because you can function day to day more easily. but the downside is that the ball randomly hits that button when you least expect it
for most people, the ball never really goes away. it might hit less and less and you have more time to recover between hits, unlike when the ball was still giant"
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relationships, boundaries, socialization
"your partner is allowed to have meaningful relationships with other people
your partner is allowed to get things from those relationships they dont get from you
demanding you being the only source of pleasure and support in their life is possesive and toxic"
"your partner is allowed to have meaningful relationships with other people
your partner is allowed to get things from those relationships they dont get from you
demanding you being the only source of pleasure and support in their life is possesive and toxic"
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body, minorities
"this is the first time i've seen color tattoos on dark skin that actually look vibrant and pigmented
[...]
dark skin accepts greens, yellows, and white beautifully"
"this is the first time i've seen color tattoos on dark skin that actually look vibrant and pigmented
[...]
dark skin accepts greens, yellows, and white beautifully"
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socialization, discrimination
"i hate that when the discussion turns to helping people, there's always someone who takes the most ungenerous, contemptible stand towards others.
if by helping legitimately needy people, i accidentally help some lazy people, so what? how is that worse than helping no one?"
"i hate that when the discussion turns to helping people, there's always someone who takes the most ungenerous, contemptible stand towards others.
if by helping legitimately needy people, i accidentally help some lazy people, so what? how is that worse than helping no one?"
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unscheduled reminder that many if not most lgbt+ people go trough months or years of confusion and uncertainty without being sure what they are ("i know/strongly suspect that im not cishet but what am i exactly? what am i comfortable with?", etc) and that nobody is a failure nor a faker if they are unsure and/or confused.
if you feel like an intruder in a space that you perceive as undeserved, remember that the Q in lgbtiq stands for "questioning" as well, not only for queer
if you feel pressured to find a label to introduce yourself with, be careful not to force yourself into things that you are not comfortable with just because you feel like you owe anyone some explanation
if you cant pinpoint what exact labels apply to you, there is nothing wrong with that. there are many people who in the end, decide that no label applies to them, and it is perfectly valid to decide that. everybody's journey is unique, dont try to rush it just to imitate others' journeys. if you dont have any label for yourself yet, it is okay. if you are unsure if some label applies to you, its okay. if you feel more comfortable while thinking of yourself as lgbt+, but you cant identify with any letter, go with q. its okay.
if you feel like an intruder in a space that you perceive as undeserved, remember that the Q in lgbtiq stands for "questioning" as well, not only for queer
if you feel pressured to find a label to introduce yourself with, be careful not to force yourself into things that you are not comfortable with just because you feel like you owe anyone some explanation
if you cant pinpoint what exact labels apply to you, there is nothing wrong with that. there are many people who in the end, decide that no label applies to them, and it is perfectly valid to decide that. everybody's journey is unique, dont try to rush it just to imitate others' journeys. if you dont have any label for yourself yet, it is okay. if you are unsure if some label applies to you, its okay. if you feel more comfortable while thinking of yourself as lgbt+, but you cant identify with any letter, go with q. its okay.
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