language, growth, depression

"honestly the best thing i've done in the past year was replacing "i wanna die" with "i wanna commit a crime." same humor and sentiment without the suicidal ideation

graduating from emo to punk"

abuse, boundaries, socialization, relationships

"the sunk cost fallacy
a behavior where we continue to do something harmful based on how many resources we've already invested.
*like engaging in toxic/abusive relationships based on how many years you've already it in"

[art by selfloverainbow]

unscheduled post

channel activity will be resuming again (even numbered days), for admin lore and info on why the channel gets paused like this (completely optional) check this post's comments

[image updated for better readability]
charts, neurodivergency

"what people think being highly sensitive means
being irrationally over emotional

what being highly sensitive actually means

being extremely observant
being empathetic
having a highly tuned nervous system
caring about everyone and everything
having strong emotional reactions
all of the feels all of the time"

{art by @KyNorthstar}

abuse, gaslight

"10 Signs You're A Victim of Gaslighting
1. You're frequently second-guessing yourself.
2. You wonder if you're too sensitive.
3. You don't trust your own judgment and decisions.
4. You find yourself constantly apologizing.
5. You can't figure out why you're so unhappy.
6. You always make excuses for your partner's behavior.
7. You feel like you can't do anything right.
8. You think you just aren't good enough.
9. You feel you were once a happier, more confident person.
10. You hold things back from friends and family. "

language, words, abuse

"GASLIGHTING
A favorite tactic of manipulators, used to obstruct and distort their victim’s understanding of reality. Intentionally setting up misdeeds, and then questioning the victim's sanity for reacting to those misdeeds. Rewriting history, or blatantly denying that the event ever took place. First, provoking negative emotions, then dismissing the victim's legitimate concerns with labels like "crazy", "insane", "bipolar", "hysterical", and "sensitive". Gaslighters are patronizing, unapologetic, and above all, they are cowardly. Because they are unable to manipulate healthy individuals, they must first manufacture insanity and chaos. This gives them the power & control that they seek over loving, compassionate human beings.

Learn the signs. Find your freedom. "

abuse, gaslight, guilt

"Just in case anyone needed a reminder. Abusers (and enablers!) will often try to use your reaction to their abuse as a justification for the way they treat you. This is gaslighting. It's also complete bullshit. It's normal and healthy to be angry, indignant, or sad when people treat you badly. Abusers just want a way to shift the blame to you for their actions. "

trauma, anxiety

"over-explaining can be a trauma response to being gaslit in childhood. when i figured that out, i worked to stop doing so. if i already told the truth and was clear, there is nothing else to say and over-explaining leads to distortion. off of that nonsense. "

abuse, growth

"its not ok for them to talk you that way, i dont care how many times they tell you they love you"

{art by natalie byrne}

boundaries

"
"no" might make them angry. but it will make you free.

if no one has ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger"

trauma, unlearning

"If you experienced trauma in childhood or had a rough childhood, dude listen to me. Offer yourself play. You were deprived of it.

Keep bubbles in the house, blow bubbles in the yard, blow them in your room, get a coloring book that doesn’t have to be an adult one with mandalas, watch cartoons, laugh at stupid things, dress up as a superhero for Halloween, wear a Santa hat on Christmas and big light up snowflake earrings, lay down on the floor, lay down in the grass, eat eggos for dinner sometimes. It’s not stupid. You’re not childish. You’re giving your inner child what they had taken from them. They deserve it.

I don't want to derail this post because it's an important message, and OP has addressed it to the people who most need to hear it. But... can i just add, for people who don't feel like they can give themselves permission to do this, that you can give yourself these things even if you didn't overtly experience trauma in childhood?

Even if you never thought of your upbringing as painful or malicious, you can and should still give yourself things you missed out on. Take that class! Learn that skill! Eat the foods you like, or branch out into new ones! Jump in piles of leaves and decorate your walls the way you want them.

Give yourself the things you couldnt have as a kid, especially if you didn't really get to have a childhood, but even if you didn't have the childhood you wanted. Go for a bike ride with friends. Go stargazing. Whatever it was that you feel like you missed, it's important to seek those things and remember that play and joy aren't exclusive to childhood. "

family, found family

"your blood relations are just your suggested pre-generated party members, but it's perfectly ok to ditch as many of them as you like and craft an entire party of lizardfolk pyromancers instead or whatever suits you "

love, hobbies, society indoctrination

"I used to hate using "love" liberally. i felt it was a sacred word only to be used in very special occasions. Now that i'm older, i've come to the realization that love should be shared and felt and received with reckless abandon. Love these characters, love this food, love things in the moment, even if they may seem tiny and insignificant to others. i think it makes life a little more soft around the edges.

Love is not a finite resource."

socialization, guilt, anxiety

"Maybe you aren’t annoying, maybe they were just annoyed. Maybe your entire personality can’t be boiled down to actions others found disruptive. Maybe peoples feelings are subjective views of you, not objective. The same way we teach kids to say "I feel angry when you do this thing" instead of "you made me angry!" maybe you should consider that people, due to their own personal beliefs about social interaction, felt annoyed in response to your actions but that that doesn’t necessarily mean you did something bad or are something bad. And while its sweet that you want to make sure people don’t have negative feelings, there’s a lot of humans in this world and we’re always going to be stepping on each others toes so maybe don’t let people feeling annoyed with you define you. "