chronic pain, neurodivergence, normativity, health, disability
"people who are fully healthy, fit and neurotypical seem to think they are that way because they're doing something right that the rest of us havent thought of, and not just because they got lucky
"you are one stroke of bad luck, common viral illness, or traumatic event away from being just like me" is honestly the most terrifying thing you can tell an abled person - and you should. i was healthy and fit and doing everything 'right' too - right up until some inner switch flipped and my body crumbled right out from under me""
"people who are fully healthy, fit and neurotypical seem to think they are that way because they're doing something right that the rest of us havent thought of, and not just because they got lucky
"you are one stroke of bad luck, common viral illness, or traumatic event away from being just like me" is honestly the most terrifying thing you can tell an abled person - and you should. i was healthy and fit and doing everything 'right' too - right up until some inner switch flipped and my body crumbled right out from under me""
💯70❤16❤🔥1🔥1😢1🎃1
art, rest
"my dad likes to call the stretches of time where you're not creating "dreaming periods" and says that they're meant to allow you to absorb all of the beauty, life, and inspiration from the things around you so that when you're able to create again, you will have fanned your spark back into a flame. sometimes its hard to see those moments as anything but stagnation, but he always says that they're natural and healthy and needed - things that should be embraced rather than feared"
"my dad likes to call the stretches of time where you're not creating "dreaming periods" and says that they're meant to allow you to absorb all of the beauty, life, and inspiration from the things around you so that when you're able to create again, you will have fanned your spark back into a flame. sometimes its hard to see those moments as anything but stagnation, but he always says that they're natural and healthy and needed - things that should be embraced rather than feared"
❤42❤🔥32🔥6
men loneliness, patriarchy, society
"i think the moment i was disillusioned about life was when i was maybe 7 years old and realized the reason all my friends had become assholes was because boys arent allowed to have any physical contact that isnt fighting
my parents were hippie feminists so my brother and i could play clapping games and sleep in puppy piles and give eachother weird hairdos, but all the 'normal' boys just up and stopped knowing how to touch anyone without hitting sometime betweeen kindergarten and first grade
and my little kid mind briefly saw the vastness of life stretching out in front of all of us, and all the hugs everyone would need and not get, and for a moment i was just like
maybe life is not such a good idea after all
[...]
i strongly suspect that a lot of str8 dude feelings of ennoscriptment to women's bodies, particularly the bodies of their wives and girlfriends, is a direct result of those women being the only non-violent physical contact they're allowed to have"
"i think the moment i was disillusioned about life was when i was maybe 7 years old and realized the reason all my friends had become assholes was because boys arent allowed to have any physical contact that isnt fighting
my parents were hippie feminists so my brother and i could play clapping games and sleep in puppy piles and give eachother weird hairdos, but all the 'normal' boys just up and stopped knowing how to touch anyone without hitting sometime betweeen kindergarten and first grade
and my little kid mind briefly saw the vastness of life stretching out in front of all of us, and all the hugs everyone would need and not get, and for a moment i was just like
maybe life is not such a good idea after all
[...]
i strongly suspect that a lot of str8 dude feelings of ennoscriptment to women's bodies, particularly the bodies of their wives and girlfriends, is a direct result of those women being the only non-violent physical contact they're allowed to have"
💯65❤18💔10😢7🔥4👍1
activism, politics, social, digital
"a little advice from someone studying extremist groups: if you're in a social media environment where the daily ubiquitous message is that you have no hope of any kind of future and you cant possibly achieve anything without a violent overthrow of society, you're being radicalized, and not in the good way.
if the solution to your problems sounds like "we need a blank slate" its a lie. there are no blank slates, and the closest approximation people can generally imagine is "burn it all down and let god/fate/history sort it out"
thats not problem solving. its barely catharsis, in practice. it doesnt just create more problems than it solves, it destroys more solutions than it creates.
put the apocalypse down, and back aways slowly.
real solutions to complex, systemic problems are not so easily reduced to "us good, them evil; kill them."
"a little advice from someone studying extremist groups: if you're in a social media environment where the daily ubiquitous message is that you have no hope of any kind of future and you cant possibly achieve anything without a violent overthrow of society, you're being radicalized, and not in the good way.
if the solution to your problems sounds like "we need a blank slate" its a lie. there are no blank slates, and the closest approximation people can generally imagine is "burn it all down and let god/fate/history sort it out"
thats not problem solving. its barely catharsis, in practice. it doesnt just create more problems than it solves, it destroys more solutions than it creates.
put the apocalypse down, and back aways slowly.
real solutions to complex, systemic problems are not so easily reduced to "us good, them evil; kill them."
❤38👏18💯13👎11👍6🤔3😢2🔥1
guilt, unrealistic age expectations, time
"my boyfriend didnt go to university until he was 28 because he didnt feel anywhere near ready when he was 18. he graduated with first class honours, went on to do a masters, and is now a history teacher. its so much more important to do things when you're able to fully commit to them and do them to the best of your ability than to rush to do them by an imaginary deadline"
"my boyfriend didnt go to university until he was 28 because he didnt feel anywhere near ready when he was 18. he graduated with first class honours, went on to do a masters, and is now a history teacher. its so much more important to do things when you're able to fully commit to them and do them to the best of your ability than to rush to do them by an imaginary deadline"
❤93👍12🔥1
digital, addictions, patterns, adhd
"my counselor once told me to make sure i wasnt doing things to distract myself from the boredom rather than try to sate it. i feel its one of the most important things he ever said to me.
when im distracting myself from the boredom, i read or game excessively so i dont feel the emptiness of boredom. its a short term thing, and it only staves the boredom as long as im doing the thing.
when im sating myself from the boredom, i pursue things i am genuinely interested in and so find myself being fulfilled and happier for a longer period of time. even if i stop doing it temporarily, i dont immediately fall apart as i would with the distraction"
"my counselor once told me to make sure i wasnt doing things to distract myself from the boredom rather than try to sate it. i feel its one of the most important things he ever said to me.
when im distracting myself from the boredom, i read or game excessively so i dont feel the emptiness of boredom. its a short term thing, and it only staves the boredom as long as im doing the thing.
when im sating myself from the boredom, i pursue things i am genuinely interested in and so find myself being fulfilled and happier for a longer period of time. even if i stop doing it temporarily, i dont immediately fall apart as i would with the distraction"
👏41❤13🤯3💯2😢1
impostor syndrome, self compassion, guilt, trauma
"yo does anyone else feel CONSTANTLY guilty? like you've always done something wrong but you dont know what it is?
yes, and i've spoken to my therapist about it, who offered an explanations:
she says that people who from a young age were made to feel like they keep doing things wrong - people who's parents had impossibly high standards for them, people who were bullied, people who have special needs, people who didnt develop crushes on the "right" people, people who didnt act like the "right" gender - basically ended up made to feel guilty so much that guilt became their default response to anything which the person didnt already have a set emotion for
people for whom guilt is the default emotional respones are also more likely to have low self-esteem, doubt their own experiences, and experience impostor syndrome. so, watch out for that too guys"
"yo does anyone else feel CONSTANTLY guilty? like you've always done something wrong but you dont know what it is?
yes, and i've spoken to my therapist about it, who offered an explanations:
she says that people who from a young age were made to feel like they keep doing things wrong - people who's parents had impossibly high standards for them, people who were bullied, people who have special needs, people who didnt develop crushes on the "right" people, people who didnt act like the "right" gender - basically ended up made to feel guilty so much that guilt became their default response to anything which the person didnt already have a set emotion for
people for whom guilt is the default emotional respones are also more likely to have low self-esteem, doubt their own experiences, and experience impostor syndrome. so, watch out for that too guys"
❤35❤🔥13💔7👍2💯2🔥1🤯1😢1
politics, activism, community, guilt
"remember as you say punch nazis, wwii resistance heroes also smuggled and hid refugees, deleted refugee data, lied to cops, broke the law
hid art. made graffitti. smuggled out kids, hid people, preserved knowledge, and kept the truth out of the lies
not everyone is built to be a fighter. and thats okay. a war isnt won by the infantry alone. we need support in this trying time as the great beast called fascism rises. dont tolerate intolerance. stay angry. stay together. stay smart."
"remember as you say punch nazis, wwii resistance heroes also smuggled and hid refugees, deleted refugee data, lied to cops, broke the law
hid art. made graffitti. smuggled out kids, hid people, preserved knowledge, and kept the truth out of the lies
not everyone is built to be a fighter. and thats okay. a war isnt won by the infantry alone. we need support in this trying time as the great beast called fascism rises. dont tolerate intolerance. stay angry. stay together. stay smart."
❤61💯24
unscheduled post
due to current spambot waves, talking in italian in the chat has changed from disencouraged to automated instantaneousban.
if you ever want to reference an italian localism or otherwise use italian words, please keep this in mind
thank you
late edit: the automated action has been changed to instant deletion rather than instant ban for the time being
due to current spambot waves, talking in italian in the chat has changed from disencouraged to automated instantaneous
if you ever want to reference an italian localism or otherwise use italian words, please keep this in mind
thank you
late edit: the automated action has been changed to instant deletion rather than instant ban for the time being
❤31😱12🤩3🤣3
chronic illness, body, invisible problems, rest
"we need to stop thinking about disability as something that we either "allow" or "dont allow" to get in the way of shit
my disability does what it wants. and if it stops me from doing things, i cant help that
its got nothing to do with me "allowing" it to do anything"
"we need to stop thinking about disability as something that we either "allow" or "dont allow" to get in the way of shit
my disability does what it wants. and if it stops me from doing things, i cant help that
its got nothing to do with me "allowing" it to do anything"
👏36❤18💯9😢1
unrealistic age expectations, political, society, discussions
"«how would YOU fix the medical system then 😡» im 17 years old
like i dont need to be a carpenter to see that your ikea chair that impales everyone that sits on it and then shatters was put together wrong but that doesnt mean i know how to fix it"
"«how would YOU fix the medical system then 😡» im 17 years old
like i dont need to be a carpenter to see that your ikea chair that impales everyone that sits on it and then shatters was put together wrong but that doesnt mean i know how to fix it"
💯76❤19
invisible problems, neurodivergency
"ADHDers often feel like we "should" be able to do something because *we've done it before* or that our difficulty with focus/productivity isnt a real disability b/c sometimes we can do it just fine.
GUYS. LADIES. GENTLETHEMS.
THAT IS THE DISABILITY.
THE INCONSISTENCY."
"ADHDers often feel like we "should" be able to do something because *we've done it before* or that our difficulty with focus/productivity isnt a real disability b/c sometimes we can do it just fine.
GUYS. LADIES. GENTLETHEMS.
THAT IS THE DISABILITY.
THE INCONSISTENCY."
❤53💔17
socialization, relationships, boundaries, communication
"you're not actually a better friend for not articulating and respecting your own needs, limits and boundaries. your lack of communication and boundaries is not some impressive sacrifice. you're not doing anyone any favors by acting like you're okay with things you arent okay with. you're just building burnout and resentment that will eventually damage the relationship in question. and when you eventually snap and walk away because you silently overburdened yourself to be a "good friend", it wont be the other persons fault
highkey, this is how i lost my friends in high school. im being so serious. i know y'all are people pleaser, y'all have precious trauma or whatever to be that way, but im so serious when im telling y'all its time for that character development"
"you're not actually a better friend for not articulating and respecting your own needs, limits and boundaries. your lack of communication and boundaries is not some impressive sacrifice. you're not doing anyone any favors by acting like you're okay with things you arent okay with. you're just building burnout and resentment that will eventually damage the relationship in question. and when you eventually snap and walk away because you silently overburdened yourself to be a "good friend", it wont be the other persons fault
highkey, this is how i lost my friends in high school. im being so serious. i know y'all are people pleaser, y'all have precious trauma or whatever to be that way, but im so serious when im telling y'all its time for that character development"
💯35🔥19❤10🤨3👎1