Basic Fucking Kindness – Telegram
Basic Fucking Kindness
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The Alembic Collective ⚗️ (@Alembic)
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self compassion, healing

"
"do i deserve this?" "am i worthy of this?"

so irrelevant. do you want it?"
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body, disability, parenting, society

"instead of telling disabled kids "you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it", i think we should tell them, "the things you are capable of doing matter"

a person cant live on an increasingly strained hope that someday they'll be good enough, especially if all you ever do is tell them who they are and what they do now is worthless"
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socialization, love

"platonic love is not a runner up to romantic love. platonic love isnt second place. platonic love isnt less real, less valid, or less powerful than romantic love. dont let your platonic love take a back seat to romantic love"
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loneliness, society, socialization

"{1} it occurs to me that the reason our culture thinks people cant live without sex is that our culture thinks "living without sex" means living without any physical affection at all

{2} people really hear "living without sex" and think it means "no kisses, no hugs from friends and family, no cuddling, no hand-holding or looped arms," huh?

{3} probably because we are increasingly seeing those things specifically as precursors to sex, instead of inherently fulfilling actions on their own terms

{1} that specifically. there's an attitude that's views all physical affection as somehow connected to sex. hence, a social norm that you cant have those things in a nonsexual relationship"
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platonic love, socialization, words

"casually tell your friends you love them, you cowards.

yes, all the time. its only kinda weird at first and then its normal, so suck it up"

'i love you!
i love you too!
love you too! ok later man
yes! its *chef's kiss
haha! ok gotta get some sleep
night! i love you!'


#art_credit_missing
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boundaries, trauma, socializing

"a man saw a snake being burned to death and decided to take it out of the fire. when he did, the snake bit him causing excruciating pain. the man dropped the snake, and the reptile fell right back into the fire.

so, the man grabbed a metal pole, took the snake out of the fire and saved its life

someone who was watching approached the man and said: "that snake bit you. why are you still trying to save it?" the man replied: "the nature of the snake is to bite, but thats not gonna change my nature, which is to help". do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. do not lose your good heart, only learn to take precautions"
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food, medical

"the flip side of 'cleanse diets dont do anything' is that if you tried a cleanse diet and you did experience a notable reduction in fatigue, joint pain, and general blarginess, you need to talk to an allergy specialist, because there's nearly a 100% chance that means you have an undiagnosed allergy to some component of your customary diet

this is an excellent point and i'd imagine there's a lot of quack diets that continue circulating and getting press based on this exact principle

absolutely - a great many diets of the "stop eating everything except there three foods" variety are 100% trading on the fact that they're practically guaranteed to generate some positive testimonials by virtue of coincidentally cutting somebody's undiagnosed food allergy out of their diet

cleanse diets are a fad, elimination diets are a diagnostic tool, and they often overlap in the foods you're told to stop eating. go see and allergist!!!"
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anxiety, diogenes, mental health, cleaning

"the marie kondo "does this spark joy?" method of decluttering never worked for me, but an adhd tiktoker just changed my entire life by introducing "the poop rule: if this object had poop on it, would you wash it off, or throw it away?" "
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tolerance, social contracts, fascism, society

[trannoscription in separate message]
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"i was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work. one of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. so the bartender and i were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says, "no. get out."

and the dude next to me say, "hey im not doing anything, im a paying customer". and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, "out. now." and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. and he was dressed in a punk uniform, i noticed

anyway, i asked what that was about and the bartender was like, "you didnt see his vest but it was all nazi shit. iron crosses and stuff. you get to recognize them."

and i was like, ohok and he continues

"you have to nip it in the bud immediately. these guys come in and its always a nice, polite one. and you serve them because you dont want to cause a scene. and then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. and that dude is cool too.

and then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a nazi bar now. and its too late because they're entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. so you have to shut them down"

and i was like, 'oh damn.' and he said "yeah, you have to ignore their reasonable arguments because their end goal is to be terrible, awful people."

and then he went back to ignoring me. but i havent forgotten that at all."
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digital, emotional self harm, communities

"{1} sometimes your owns against homo/transphobes arent funny enough to warrant consciously reminding me of that people hate me for immutable characteristics about myself

{2} i love opening up twitter and its just this over and over again

[simplified image]
trans person or cis ally @ transgood
NUH UH
horrific transphobe @ trannygenocider
*disgustingly transphobic text and/or disturbing imagery*"
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society, mental health

"you cant change the people around you,
but
you can change the people around you"
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self compassion, art, frustration tolerance

"you'll be surprised by the many talents hidden within you if you gave yourself the permission to be a beginner"
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math, general life advice, statistics, media manipulation

"heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics.

"increases your chances by 80%" does not mean "there is now an 80% chance".

if your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%

if your chances were roughly 1%, they're now just slightly less than 2%

thats how that works

verbiage used when describing statistics is often manipulated to prey on a target audiences ignorance. i think it's important to understand these basic concepts"
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invisible problems, executive dysfunction, disabilities

"its a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you wont be using because you hate that kind of exercise. its a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. its a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. dont aim so high that you wont be hitting anything!"
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boundaries, socialization

"its impossible to please everyone. the question is whether you're disappointing the right people.

part of setting healthy boundaries is deciding who you're willing to let down - and who has the right to make you feel guilty.

not everyone deserves power over your emotions."
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growth, healing

"sometimes you need a "stop doing" list as badly as you do a "to do" list"
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minorities, oppression, society

"equal rights for other doesnt mean fewer rights for you. its not pie."
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digital, socialization, neurodivergency

"lets talk about the sarcasm switch aka /s

-adding /s to the end of a statement is used in many online communities to denote sarcasm
-this is useful to people who have trouble reading the tone of a statement without verbal indicators
-this especially helps include neurodiverse folks in the conversation!
-this type of slang is based on html syntax, and there's more:
-/s - sarcastic
-/j - joking
-/srs - serious
-/hj - half joking

and more besides! like emojis, html tone indicators provide important context & clarification to written communication. you can include a wider audience by using them, and autistic readers like me will really appreciate it!"
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