Bought the onion that was genetically engineered by the CIA to be a bioweapon which melts your face off

The office printer seeing the IT Team trying to print thousands of BitLocker keys

Stock exchange opened. It appears CrowdStrike share holders are relatively concerned.

lol

Winblows users btfo once again

CrowdStike PR trying to apologize to enraged IT nerds

Fucking kid dropped a rock on my head

Logging into Xitter and seeing thousands upon thousands of people, who have never written a single line of code their entire life and can barely use a computer, giving their expert input into kernel-mode programming

i have plans but i cannot tell you because the haters would sabotage me