I want you to pay for my student loans and fix my abuela’s house.

Ever since Subway sandwiches changed their bread things have gone downhill for pedophiles and people who fake hate crimes.

If it wasn’t -20 degrees in Chicago the night Jussie Smollett faked his hate crime there’d be two innocent white guys sitting in jail right now.

Who dislikes Kamala Harris more? Joe Biden or the rest of America?

Had you ever heard of Jussie Smollett before he faked his hate crime?

Dr. Fauci is like Dr. Doolittle but he can only speak to sheep.

If Fox News is Nazi propaganda why does CNN and MSNBC keep hiring Fox’s old anchors?

The only way Democrats and the media could be happier about the tornadoes is if the tornadoes shouted “This is MAGA country!”.

How long until Democrats require proof of vaccination to vote?

LeBron James surviving Covid is proof it’s not dangerous to little babies.

The only thing Joe Biden hates hearing more than Let's Go Brandon is Let Go of Brandon.

Do the people telling Joe Biden what to say have dementia too?

Hunter Biden was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He used the spoon to do heroin before selling it to pay for the prostitutes.

Joe Biden looks more confused now than that time he walked in on Michelle Obama at the urinal.

How did a pandemic become so political?

LeBron’s gotten more people kicked out of his games than watched Space Jam 2.

.08% of the population lost their lives to COVID and the remaining 99.92% had their lives taken from them by government.

After Bette Midler said West Virginia was full of inbred hicks, Ilhan Omar announced she’s running for the Senate in West Virginia.

Is it weird that my dad can go into a women’s restroom in L.A. but can’t go to a restaurant?

Does anyone else love watching Joe Biden get mad?

Have you heard about the new Fauci variant? It’s shorter than most variants but it’s depressing and causes you to lie while craving massive amounts of attention. Unfortunately, there’s no cure and can linger far past it’s usefulness.