The Mother’s rights over her child
The mother has many major rights over her child. These rights are innumerable, Abu Hurayrah (may ALLAH be pleased with him) said: “A man came to the Messenger of ALLAH (ﷺ) and said, ‘O Messenger of ALLAH (ﷺ) who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your father.’”
ALLAHﷻ says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship…” [Qur'an, al-Ahqaaf 46:15]
Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “A man came to the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) and asked him for permission to participate in jihaad. The Messenger of ALLAH (ﷺ) said to him, ‘Are your parents alive?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Then your jihaad is with them.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2842; Muslim, 2549)
Obeying her when she tells you to do something good. But if she tells you to do something bad, such as shirk, then there should be no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.
ALLAHﷻ says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly” [Qur'an, Luqmaan 31:15]
The mother has many major rights over her child. These rights are innumerable, Abu Hurayrah (may ALLAH be pleased with him) said: “A man came to the Messenger of ALLAH (ﷺ) and said, ‘O Messenger of ALLAH (ﷺ) who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your father.’”
ALLAHﷻ says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship…” [Qur'an, al-Ahqaaf 46:15]
Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “A man came to the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) and asked him for permission to participate in jihaad. The Messenger of ALLAH (ﷺ) said to him, ‘Are your parents alive?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Then your jihaad is with them.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2842; Muslim, 2549)
Obeying her when she tells you to do something good. But if she tells you to do something bad, such as shirk, then there should be no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.
ALLAHﷻ says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly” [Qur'an, Luqmaan 31:15]
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Muslim Children Tips
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I want to secure my children's future!
Abdul Rahman bin Qasim, may Allah have mercy on him, entered upon al-Mansur, may Allah have mercy on him, on the day he was pledged for the caliphate. Al-Mansour said to him:
Advise me, O Abdul Rahman.
He said: Should I advise you based on what I saw or what I heard?
He said: Rather, according to what you saw.
He said: O Commander of the Momineen! Umar bin Abdul Aziz gave birth to eleven children and left behind eighteen dinars. He was shrouded for five dinars, a grave was bought for him for four dinars, and the rest was distributed among his children (that is, nine dinars remained for eleven children!!)
Hisham bin Abdul Malik gave birth to eleven children, and each son’s share of the estate was one thousand dinars (one million dinars each)
By Allah... O Commander of the Momineen:
One day, I saw one of Umar bin Abdulaziz’s sons give one hundred horses in charity for Jihad for the sake of Allah and saw one of Hisham's sons begging in the markets
People asked Umar bin Abdulaziz on his deathbed:
What did you leave for your children, Umar?
He said: “I left them the fear of Allah.”
If they are righteous, then Allah the Almighty takes care of the righteous.
If they are otherwise, I will not leave them what helps them to disobey Allah the Almighty
Consider, many people work hard and exert great effort to secure the future of their children, thinking that having money in their hands after their death is a security for them.
They overlooked the great security that Allah the Almighty mentioned in his book:
وَلْيَخْشَ الَّذِينَ لَوْ تَرَكُوا مِنْ خَلْفِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّةً ضِعَافًا خَافُوا عَلَيْهِمْ فَلْيَتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَلْيَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا
And let those (executors and guardians) have the same fear in their minds as they would have for their own, if they had left weak offspring behind. So let them fear Allâh and speak right words
Surat An-Nisa (9).
Source: Biography of Umar bin Abdul Aziz by Ibn al-Jawzi (33)
https://twitter.com/saudischoolbook
Abdul Rahman bin Qasim, may Allah have mercy on him, entered upon al-Mansur, may Allah have mercy on him, on the day he was pledged for the caliphate. Al-Mansour said to him:
Advise me, O Abdul Rahman.
He said: Should I advise you based on what I saw or what I heard?
He said: Rather, according to what you saw.
He said: O Commander of the Momineen! Umar bin Abdul Aziz gave birth to eleven children and left behind eighteen dinars. He was shrouded for five dinars, a grave was bought for him for four dinars, and the rest was distributed among his children (that is, nine dinars remained for eleven children!!)
Hisham bin Abdul Malik gave birth to eleven children, and each son’s share of the estate was one thousand dinars (one million dinars each)
By Allah... O Commander of the Momineen:
One day, I saw one of Umar bin Abdulaziz’s sons give one hundred horses in charity for Jihad for the sake of Allah and saw one of Hisham's sons begging in the markets
People asked Umar bin Abdulaziz on his deathbed:
What did you leave for your children, Umar?
He said: “I left them the fear of Allah.”
If they are righteous, then Allah the Almighty takes care of the righteous.
If they are otherwise, I will not leave them what helps them to disobey Allah the Almighty
Consider, many people work hard and exert great effort to secure the future of their children, thinking that having money in their hands after their death is a security for them.
They overlooked the great security that Allah the Almighty mentioned in his book:
وَلْيَخْشَ الَّذِينَ لَوْ تَرَكُوا مِنْ خَلْفِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّةً ضِعَافًا خَافُوا عَلَيْهِمْ فَلْيَتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَلْيَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا
And let those (executors and guardians) have the same fear in their minds as they would have for their own, if they had left weak offspring behind. So let them fear Allâh and speak right words
Surat An-Nisa (9).
Source: Biography of Umar bin Abdul Aziz by Ibn al-Jawzi (33)
https://twitter.com/saudischoolbook
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Forwarded from Signs B4 Day of Judgement
Please download 2 Books and Read.. In Sha Allah. Very Important
Share this links with your family members and friends.
BOOK OF THE END. https://www.kalamullah.com/book-of-the-end.html
THE END OF THE WORLD. https://www.kalamullah.com/theendoftheworld.html
Share this links with your family members and friends.
BOOK OF THE END. https://www.kalamullah.com/book-of-the-end.html
THE END OF THE WORLD. https://www.kalamullah.com/theendoftheworld.html
~Be A Righteous Father~
وَكَانَ أَبُوهُمَا صَالِحًا
“and their father was a righteous man” (Al-Kahf:82)(Al-Kahf:82)(Al-Kahf:82)
Abdullah ibn Mas’ūd (may Allāh be pleased with him), used to pray at night and would see his small child sleeping then he would say, “this is for your bright future” and whilst crying would recite:
وَكَانَ أَبُوهُمَا صَالِحًا
“And their father was righteous” (Al-Kahf:82)(Al-Kahf:82)(Al-Kahf:82)
lbn Abbās (may Allāh be pleased with him) said: “They were protected by the righteousness of their father.”
Saeed lbnul Musayb said: “I pray, then when I remember my child, I increase in my prayers"
(Tafseer Al-Baghawee Vol-5 Pg 196)
وَكَانَ أَبُوهُمَا صَالِحًا
“and their father was a righteous man” (Al-Kahf:82)(Al-Kahf:82)(Al-Kahf:82)
Abdullah ibn Mas’ūd (may Allāh be pleased with him), used to pray at night and would see his small child sleeping then he would say, “this is for your bright future” and whilst crying would recite:
وَكَانَ أَبُوهُمَا صَالِحًا
“And their father was righteous” (Al-Kahf:82)(Al-Kahf:82)(Al-Kahf:82)
lbn Abbās (may Allāh be pleased with him) said: “They were protected by the righteousness of their father.”
Saeed lbnul Musayb said: “I pray, then when I remember my child, I increase in my prayers"
(Tafseer Al-Baghawee Vol-5 Pg 196)
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#Parents
And in todays times we say "uff" if they ask you to get them a glass of water.
Ma'moon said: "I have never seen anyone more kinder to their parents than al-Fadl ibn Yahya. His father used to do wudu only with warm water, but whilst they were both in prison, the guard stopped supplying them with firewood.
It was a cold night, so when his father went to sleep, al-Fadl filled a container with water and held it close to the fire of the lamp to heat it up. He stayed in that position awake till dawn, so that his father could make wudhu with warm water."
(al-Mujalisah wa Jawahir al-'Ilm)
And in todays times we say "uff" if they ask you to get them a glass of water.
Ma'moon said: "I have never seen anyone more kinder to their parents than al-Fadl ibn Yahya. His father used to do wudu only with warm water, but whilst they were both in prison, the guard stopped supplying them with firewood.
It was a cold night, so when his father went to sleep, al-Fadl filled a container with water and held it close to the fire of the lamp to heat it up. He stayed in that position awake till dawn, so that his father could make wudhu with warm water."
(al-Mujalisah wa Jawahir al-'Ilm)
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Please, Parents when you are single or Married,
Don't try to take curse of innocent people or dont try to make fun of other or dont degrade others or Don't try to criticize others...........
The list goes on.........
It's famous saying, As you do to Others you wil be treated as same..
If you do so in future your children will be victims of those issues.
When parents sins then the children has to suffer for them.
Be careful with your tongue...
Be careful not to oppressed others there is no veil between them and Allah (swt) there duas r accepted immediately.
Think of your future children before doing this to others....
Don't try to take curse of innocent people or dont try to make fun of other or dont degrade others or Don't try to criticize others...........
The list goes on.........
It's famous saying, As you do to Others you wil be treated as same..
If you do so in future your children will be victims of those issues.
When parents sins then the children has to suffer for them.
Be careful with your tongue...
Be careful not to oppressed others there is no veil between them and Allah (swt) there duas r accepted immediately.
Think of your future children before doing this to others....
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Al-Imām ibn Katheer, [may Allāh bestow mercy upon him], said:
“The blessings bestowed upon children emanates from the actions of their parents¹, while the blessings upon parents arise from the supplications of their children.”
Al-Bidāyah wan-Nihāyah, 20/416 | Al-Imām ibn Katheer [may Allāh have mercy on him].
Translation: Authentic Quotes
TN: Footnote one is referring to Surah al-Kahf, al-āyah 82 - {and under the wall was a treasure that belonged to them, and their father had been a righteous man. So your Lord willed that these children should come of age and retrieve their treasure, as a mercy from your Lord.}
“The blessings bestowed upon children emanates from the actions of their parents¹, while the blessings upon parents arise from the supplications of their children.”
Al-Bidāyah wan-Nihāyah, 20/416 | Al-Imām ibn Katheer [may Allāh have mercy on him].
Translation: Authentic Quotes
TN: Footnote one is referring to Surah al-Kahf, al-āyah 82 - {and under the wall was a treasure that belonged to them, and their father had been a righteous man. So your Lord willed that these children should come of age and retrieve their treasure, as a mercy from your Lord.}
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The best gift to give children is Islamic education.
The best gifts for our parents: Qur'an memorization & regular supplications.
The best gifts for our parents: Qur'an memorization & regular supplications.
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As - Shaykh Muḥammad bn Ṣāliḥ al-ʿUthaymīn said:
*Teach Your Children truthfulness through speech and actions, so when you speak to them, do not lie to them and when you make them a promise, do not break your promise.*
Al-Ḍiyāʾ al-Lāmiʿ min ʾl-Khuṭab al-Jawāmiʿ 2/258
*Teach Your Children truthfulness through speech and actions, so when you speak to them, do not lie to them and when you make them a promise, do not break your promise.*
Al-Ḍiyāʾ al-Lāmiʿ min ʾl-Khuṭab al-Jawāmiʿ 2/258
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Du'a for an unruly child 🌸🤲🏻
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّيْ اجْتَهَدْتُ أَنْ أَؤدِّبَ إبني/بنتي فَلَمْ أَقْدِرْ عَلَى تَأَدِيْبِهِ/ها فَأَدِّبْهُ/ها أَنْتَ لِي
O Allāh, I strove to discipline '
My son/my daughter, but I was unable to discipline, so discipline him/her for me!
O Allāh, I surely tried hard to cultivate my son/my daughter, but i was not able to cultivate him, so YOU cultivate him for me.
via Tarbiyah al Hind
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّيْ اجْتَهَدْتُ أَنْ أَؤدِّبَ إبني/بنتي فَلَمْ أَقْدِرْ عَلَى تَأَدِيْبِهِ/ها فَأَدِّبْهُ/ها أَنْتَ لِي
O Allāh, I strove to discipline '
My son/my daughter, but I was unable to discipline, so discipline him/her for me!
O Allāh, I surely tried hard to cultivate my son/my daughter, but i was not able to cultivate him, so YOU cultivate him for me.
via Tarbiyah al Hind
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Muslim Children Tips
Please, Parents when you are single or Married, Don't try to take curse of innocent people or dont try to make fun of other or dont degrade others or Don't try to criticize others........... The list goes on......... It's famous saying, As you do to Others…
Disabled children, punishment for the sin of parents?
This is a false belief and contradicts the Qur’an.
God does not punish children for the sins of their parents:
وَمَن يَكْسِبْ إِثْمًۭا فَإِنَّمَا يَكْسِبُهُۥ عَلَىٰ نَفْسِهِۦ ۚ
“𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗻,
𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.”
(Qur’an 4:111).
وَمَن ضَلَّ فَإِنَّمَا يَضِلُّ عَلَيْهَا ۚ وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌۭ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ ۗ
“𝗛𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘀.
𝗡𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.”
(Qur’an 17:15).
فَمَن نَّكَثَ فَإِنَّمَا يَنكُثُ عَلَىٰ نَفْسِهِۦ ۖ
“𝗜𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲,
𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.”
(Qur’an 48:10).
كُلُّ نَفْسٍ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ رَهِينَةٌ
“𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗹 𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀.”
(Qur’an 74:38).
There is an ignorant superstitious idea (خرافة) floating around in our communities, which is that when a child is born disabled, it is a punishment for their parents sin, or if someone does a bad deed to someone else’s child, the same will be done to his/her child etc.
We should correct our beliefs and educate the ignorant ones who keep pushing such foolish ideas.
This is a false belief and contradicts the Qur’an.
God does not punish children for the sins of their parents:
وَمَن يَكْسِبْ إِثْمًۭا فَإِنَّمَا يَكْسِبُهُۥ عَلَىٰ نَفْسِهِۦ ۚ
“𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗻,
𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.”
(Qur’an 4:111).
وَمَن ضَلَّ فَإِنَّمَا يَضِلُّ عَلَيْهَا ۚ وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌۭ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ ۗ
“𝗛𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘀.
𝗡𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.”
(Qur’an 17:15).
فَمَن نَّكَثَ فَإِنَّمَا يَنكُثُ عَلَىٰ نَفْسِهِۦ ۖ
“𝗜𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲,
𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.”
(Qur’an 48:10).
كُلُّ نَفْسٍ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ رَهِينَةٌ
“𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗹 𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀.”
(Qur’an 74:38).
There is an ignorant superstitious idea (خرافة) floating around in our communities, which is that when a child is born disabled, it is a punishment for their parents sin, or if someone does a bad deed to someone else’s child, the same will be done to his/her child etc.
We should correct our beliefs and educate the ignorant ones who keep pushing such foolish ideas.
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May Allah have mercy on our mother. We can never repay her back but she will always remain in our duaas.
Abu Burdah reported: Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, watched a Yemeni man circling the House while carrying his mother on his back, saying, “I am her humble camel. If her mount is scared, I am not scared.” Then he said, “O Ibn Umar, do you think I have repaid her?” Ibn Umar said, “No, not even for a single pang of pregnancy.”
al-Adab al-Mufrad 10
Sahih (authentic)
Abu Burdah reported: Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, watched a Yemeni man circling the House while carrying his mother on his back, saying, “I am her humble camel. If her mount is scared, I am not scared.” Then he said, “O Ibn Umar, do you think I have repaid her?” Ibn Umar said, “No, not even for a single pang of pregnancy.”
al-Adab al-Mufrad 10
Sahih (authentic)
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You never know how your life is going to change.
You may be complaining about something insignificant when suddenly tragedy hits.
Even when faced with difficulties you need to remember that it's the qadr of Allah and it's a form of mercy. So be grateful for the hardships because Allah in His infinite mercy has chosen this as a way to purify you and help you to shape your character.
It’s also a good reminder to always be grateful for everything you have and to keep your complaints to a minimum. #Alhamdulillah
Life is so fragile and your world could shatter in minutes.
You may be complaining about something insignificant when suddenly tragedy hits.
Even when faced with difficulties you need to remember that it's the qadr of Allah and it's a form of mercy. So be grateful for the hardships because Allah in His infinite mercy has chosen this as a way to purify you and help you to shape your character.
It’s also a good reminder to always be grateful for everything you have and to keep your complaints to a minimum. #Alhamdulillah
Life is so fragile and your world could shatter in minutes.
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MUST READ: A SILENT TRAGEDY!
There is a silent tragedy that is unfolding today in our homes, and concerns our most precious jewels: our children. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! In the last 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions:
Statistics do not lie:
• 1 in 5 children have mental health problems
• A 43% increase in ADHD has been noted
• A 37% increase in adolescent depression has been noted
• There has been a 200% increase in the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14
What is happening and what are we doing wrong?
Today's children are being over-stimulated and over-gifted with material objects, but they are deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:
• Emotionally available parents
• Clearly defined limits
• Responsibilities
• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
• Movement in general but especially outdoors
• Creative play, social interaction, unstructured game opportunities and boredom spaces
Instead, in recent years, children have been filled with:
• Digitally distracted parents
• Indulgent and permissive parents who let children "rule the world" and whoever sets the rules
• A sense of right, of deserving everything without earning it or being responsible for obtaining it
• Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
• A sedentary lifestyle
• Endless stimulation, technological nannies, instant gratification and absence of boring moments
What to do?
If we want our children to be happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and get back to basics. It is still possible! Many families see immediate improvements after weeks of implementing the following recommendations:
• Set limits and remember that you are the captain of the ship. Your children will feel more confident knowing that you have control of the helm.
• Offer children a balanced lifestyle full of what children NEED, not just what they WANT. Don't be afraid to say "no" to your children if what they want is not what they need.
• Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.
• Spend at least one hour a day outdoors doing activities such as: cycling, walking, fishing, bird / insect watching
• Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or distracting technology.
• Play board games as a family or if children are very small for board games, get carried away by their interests and allow them to rule in the game
• Involve your children in some homework or household chores according to their age (folding clothes, ordering toys, hanging clothes, unpacking food, setting the table, feeding the dog etc.)
• Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure your child gets enough sleep. The schedules will be even more important for school-age children.
• Teach responsibility and independence. Do not overprotect them against all frustration or mistakes. Misunderstanding will help them build resilience and learn to overcome life's challenges,
• Do not carry your children's backpack, do not carry their backpacks, do not carry the homework they forgot, do not peel bananas or peel oranges if they can do it on their own (4-5 years). Instead of giving them the fish, teach them to fish.
• Teach them to wait and delay gratification.
• Provide opportunities for "boredom", since boredom is the moment when creativity awakens. Do not feel responsible for always keeping children entertained.
• Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it at the first second of inactivity.
• Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping centers. Use these moments as opportunities to socialize by training the brains to know how to work when they are in mode: "boredom"
• Help them create a "bottle of boredom" with activity ideas for when they are bored.
There is a silent tragedy that is unfolding today in our homes, and concerns our most precious jewels: our children. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! In the last 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions:
Statistics do not lie:
• 1 in 5 children have mental health problems
• A 43% increase in ADHD has been noted
• A 37% increase in adolescent depression has been noted
• There has been a 200% increase in the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14
What is happening and what are we doing wrong?
Today's children are being over-stimulated and over-gifted with material objects, but they are deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:
• Emotionally available parents
• Clearly defined limits
• Responsibilities
• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
• Movement in general but especially outdoors
• Creative play, social interaction, unstructured game opportunities and boredom spaces
Instead, in recent years, children have been filled with:
• Digitally distracted parents
• Indulgent and permissive parents who let children "rule the world" and whoever sets the rules
• A sense of right, of deserving everything without earning it or being responsible for obtaining it
• Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
• A sedentary lifestyle
• Endless stimulation, technological nannies, instant gratification and absence of boring moments
What to do?
If we want our children to be happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and get back to basics. It is still possible! Many families see immediate improvements after weeks of implementing the following recommendations:
• Set limits and remember that you are the captain of the ship. Your children will feel more confident knowing that you have control of the helm.
• Offer children a balanced lifestyle full of what children NEED, not just what they WANT. Don't be afraid to say "no" to your children if what they want is not what they need.
• Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.
• Spend at least one hour a day outdoors doing activities such as: cycling, walking, fishing, bird / insect watching
• Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or distracting technology.
• Play board games as a family or if children are very small for board games, get carried away by their interests and allow them to rule in the game
• Involve your children in some homework or household chores according to their age (folding clothes, ordering toys, hanging clothes, unpacking food, setting the table, feeding the dog etc.)
• Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure your child gets enough sleep. The schedules will be even more important for school-age children.
• Teach responsibility and independence. Do not overprotect them against all frustration or mistakes. Misunderstanding will help them build resilience and learn to overcome life's challenges,
• Do not carry your children's backpack, do not carry their backpacks, do not carry the homework they forgot, do not peel bananas or peel oranges if they can do it on their own (4-5 years). Instead of giving them the fish, teach them to fish.
• Teach them to wait and delay gratification.
• Provide opportunities for "boredom", since boredom is the moment when creativity awakens. Do not feel responsible for always keeping children entertained.
• Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it at the first second of inactivity.
• Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping centers. Use these moments as opportunities to socialize by training the brains to know how to work when they are in mode: "boredom"
• Help them create a "bottle of boredom" with activity ideas for when they are bored.
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