The wrong relationship with children.
It is easier said than done, but you have to think of the future consequences that you are subjecting a whole generation too because of the choices you are making.
There are many long-term effects of staying in a toxic relationship, and your children will end up attaining particular tendencies that include learning negative patterns, withdrawal, depression and isolation.
If you are staying in a bad relationship for your children, as admirable as it might feel, it might not be the best for either of you in the long run.
When children see mom and dad unable to maintain a healthy relationship, often with mom crying or dad yelling, they may fear getting close to others. This often starts with isolation behavior in social scenarios with peers and can grow into a fear of intimacy.
Children coming from toxic relationships will view intimacy as a way that people get hurt. In order to protect themselves, they reject any form of a close relationship.
Even when they desperately want to be loved and in love, they will engage in relationships extremely guarded. As the relationship continues, they may replay what they say mom and dad do in arguments.
Children develop habits based on what they see. Boys and girls see dad belittling or even physically harming mom will learn that this is the normal way couples interact.
Kids who see mom cowering at the sound of dad’s keys in the door will feel they need to hide from those who supposedly love them.
These patterns are developed subconsciously and take a lot of work to undo.
As a single mom raising a boy, the last thing you want is for him to raise his hand to you when he is getting punished.
As a single mom of a girl, you want your daughter to feel strong enough to stand up for her feelings, safety, and happiness.
This is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish when staying in a toxic relationship so you need to do what's right for you and your children's life before it's too late.
So take my advice and ...Choose an environment that best serves your children and the generations that follow.
Break the cycle of abuse.
No child deserves that.
It is easier said than done, but you have to think of the future consequences that you are subjecting a whole generation too because of the choices you are making.
There are many long-term effects of staying in a toxic relationship, and your children will end up attaining particular tendencies that include learning negative patterns, withdrawal, depression and isolation.
If you are staying in a bad relationship for your children, as admirable as it might feel, it might not be the best for either of you in the long run.
When children see mom and dad unable to maintain a healthy relationship, often with mom crying or dad yelling, they may fear getting close to others. This often starts with isolation behavior in social scenarios with peers and can grow into a fear of intimacy.
Children coming from toxic relationships will view intimacy as a way that people get hurt. In order to protect themselves, they reject any form of a close relationship.
Even when they desperately want to be loved and in love, they will engage in relationships extremely guarded. As the relationship continues, they may replay what they say mom and dad do in arguments.
Children develop habits based on what they see. Boys and girls see dad belittling or even physically harming mom will learn that this is the normal way couples interact.
Kids who see mom cowering at the sound of dad’s keys in the door will feel they need to hide from those who supposedly love them.
These patterns are developed subconsciously and take a lot of work to undo.
As a single mom raising a boy, the last thing you want is for him to raise his hand to you when he is getting punished.
As a single mom of a girl, you want your daughter to feel strong enough to stand up for her feelings, safety, and happiness.
This is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish when staying in a toxic relationship so you need to do what's right for you and your children's life before it's too late.
So take my advice and ...Choose an environment that best serves your children and the generations that follow.
Break the cycle of abuse.
No child deserves that.
👍8
A CHILD DOES NOT FORGET IF YOU TEACH HIM FROM A LITTLE AGE
▪️The Noble Scholar Ibn Uthaymin رحمه الله said:
He (Muhammad) ﷺ said: (O child, name Allah and eat with your right hand).
And know that teaching such manners to young people is not forgotten, i.e., a child does not forget if you teach him when he is little, but if he grows up, he may forget what you teach him and may rebel a little against you when he grows up, but as long as it is young and teach him will be more reciprocated.
Source: Explanation from Riad As-Salihin (3/172)📙
الطفل لا ينسى إذا علمته وهو صغير
قال العلامة ابن عثيمين - رحمه الله تعالى- :
قَـالَ ﷺ : (يا غُلَامُ، سَمِّ اللَّهَ، وكُلْ بيَمِينِكَ.)
وليعلم أن تعليم الصغار لمثل هذه الآداب لا ينسى، يعني أن الطفل لا ينسى إذا علمته وهو صغير، لكن إذا كبر ربما ينسى إذا علمته، وربما يتمرد عليك بعض الشيء إذا كبر، لكن ما دام صغيرا وعلمته يكون أكثر إقبالا.
📚 المصدر: شرح رياض الصالحين (٣ / ١٧٢)
▪️The Noble Scholar Ibn Uthaymin رحمه الله said:
He (Muhammad) ﷺ said: (O child, name Allah and eat with your right hand).
And know that teaching such manners to young people is not forgotten, i.e., a child does not forget if you teach him when he is little, but if he grows up, he may forget what you teach him and may rebel a little against you when he grows up, but as long as it is young and teach him will be more reciprocated.
Source: Explanation from Riad As-Salihin (3/172)📙
الطفل لا ينسى إذا علمته وهو صغير
قال العلامة ابن عثيمين - رحمه الله تعالى- :
قَـالَ ﷺ : (يا غُلَامُ، سَمِّ اللَّهَ، وكُلْ بيَمِينِكَ.)
وليعلم أن تعليم الصغار لمثل هذه الآداب لا ينسى، يعني أن الطفل لا ينسى إذا علمته وهو صغير، لكن إذا كبر ربما ينسى إذا علمته، وربما يتمرد عليك بعض الشيء إذا كبر، لكن ما دام صغيرا وعلمته يكون أكثر إقبالا.
📚 المصدر: شرح رياض الصالحين (٣ / ١٧٢)
👍6
Teaching to my 9 year old son:
“My body my choice” vs “Allah gave me my body, so Allah’s choice”
Let’s take a step back.
My 9 year old son and I were doing ‘umrah, and during sa’ī between Safa and Marwa, my son asked me the following question.
My son asked me: “Abba, can I only do 4 rounds in ‘Umrah instead of 7 because I am feeling tired?”
I said: “NO”
He asked why? I told him: “One of the lessons of ‘umrah is to teach us that Allah’s SWT instructions are more important than our feelings. Once ‘umrah finishes, we should have internalized the idea that Allah’s SWT instruction comes before anything. Even before our own desires, choices and feelings, unless there’s a life threatening emergency (in which case Allah is The Most-Merciful). If He SWT asked you to pray Fajr, then regardless of how you feel, you have to pray, since He SWT is more knowledgeable as our Creator. We as human beings are not aware of whether our feelings and choices will be beneficial for us or harmful for us.”
Why am I sharing this?
I think that it is very important for us as parents to teach our children the superiority of Allah’s SWT instruction over their feelings. We are living in such a godless society, where a person’s ego and choices are the center of their own universe, where feelings are given ultimate authority and centrality. What’s arguably worse is that the outside world seeks to affirm and conform to those feelings, despite them being potentially harmful for ourselves and for others. This conflicts with the Islamic worldview that displaces the centrality of man with the centrality of God.
In summary, I think that we as parents should focus on the following:
- We need to teach our children that the idea of personal bodily autonomy and “my body my choice” is not true, because Allah’s SWT instructions are more important than our own autonomy, choices and feelings, because He SWT is the creator of our bodies, and therefore His SWT choice takes precedent and will always be better for us.
- Furthermore, those feelings are needlessly and extremely sexualized in our times, and because we have forgone seeking any/all instruction from God, we have seen such chaos with modern sexuality.
- Lastly, instead of deconstructing modern day philosophies to your child, construct Islamic foundation in such a solid way that when they are exposed to these godless concepts, they will able to see all the inherent flaws. (FYI: deconstruction is good for adults)
I hope this helps. May Allah SWT protect us and our kids. Ameen
#NietzscheIsDead
#AllahIsTheEverLiving
“My body my choice” vs “Allah gave me my body, so Allah’s choice”
Let’s take a step back.
My 9 year old son and I were doing ‘umrah, and during sa’ī between Safa and Marwa, my son asked me the following question.
My son asked me: “Abba, can I only do 4 rounds in ‘Umrah instead of 7 because I am feeling tired?”
I said: “NO”
He asked why? I told him: “One of the lessons of ‘umrah is to teach us that Allah’s SWT instructions are more important than our feelings. Once ‘umrah finishes, we should have internalized the idea that Allah’s SWT instruction comes before anything. Even before our own desires, choices and feelings, unless there’s a life threatening emergency (in which case Allah is The Most-Merciful). If He SWT asked you to pray Fajr, then regardless of how you feel, you have to pray, since He SWT is more knowledgeable as our Creator. We as human beings are not aware of whether our feelings and choices will be beneficial for us or harmful for us.”
Why am I sharing this?
I think that it is very important for us as parents to teach our children the superiority of Allah’s SWT instruction over their feelings. We are living in such a godless society, where a person’s ego and choices are the center of their own universe, where feelings are given ultimate authority and centrality. What’s arguably worse is that the outside world seeks to affirm and conform to those feelings, despite them being potentially harmful for ourselves and for others. This conflicts with the Islamic worldview that displaces the centrality of man with the centrality of God.
In summary, I think that we as parents should focus on the following:
- We need to teach our children that the idea of personal bodily autonomy and “my body my choice” is not true, because Allah’s SWT instructions are more important than our own autonomy, choices and feelings, because He SWT is the creator of our bodies, and therefore His SWT choice takes precedent and will always be better for us.
- Furthermore, those feelings are needlessly and extremely sexualized in our times, and because we have forgone seeking any/all instruction from God, we have seen such chaos with modern sexuality.
- Lastly, instead of deconstructing modern day philosophies to your child, construct Islamic foundation in such a solid way that when they are exposed to these godless concepts, they will able to see all the inherent flaws. (FYI: deconstruction is good for adults)
I hope this helps. May Allah SWT protect us and our kids. Ameen
#NietzscheIsDead
#AllahIsTheEverLiving
👍10💯1
Children of Muslims in Jannah
The Prophet ﷺ said: “The children of the Muslims are in Paradise, being looked after by the Prophet Ibraheem (عليه السلام).” [Ahmad]
A Muslim parent should not grieve excessively on the death of a beloved child, because their child has entered Jannah and is being taken care of by Ibraheem (عليه السلام) and Saarah. [Abu Naeem] These Muslim children will be handed back to their parents on the Day of Resurrection [Ad-Daylami] and will hold on to the hands or clothes of their parents and not let go until Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) admits them together to Jannah. [Muslim]
Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) not only provides wonderful care-givers in the best place to our children that die while minor, but also informs us about it in advance, so that we don’t grieve about their fate. Subhan-Allah!
The Prophet ﷺ said: “The children of the Muslims are in Paradise, being looked after by the Prophet Ibraheem (عليه السلام).” [Ahmad]
A Muslim parent should not grieve excessively on the death of a beloved child, because their child has entered Jannah and is being taken care of by Ibraheem (عليه السلام) and Saarah. [Abu Naeem] These Muslim children will be handed back to their parents on the Day of Resurrection [Ad-Daylami] and will hold on to the hands or clothes of their parents and not let go until Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) admits them together to Jannah. [Muslim]
Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) not only provides wonderful care-givers in the best place to our children that die while minor, but also informs us about it in advance, so that we don’t grieve about their fate. Subhan-Allah!
👍8
SHOW KINDNESS TO PARENTS
"...Be grateful to Me [Allah] and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination." Surat Luqman (Quran 31:14)
Allah associates gratitude to Him with gratitude to one's parents.
As we have seen, thanking Allah shows faith in Allah — and one way to thank Allah is by thanking our parents...for raising us, for taking care of us, and for all of the sacrifices they have made on our behalf.
Allah gives huge importance to parents in several verses in the Quran. We must honor them and show kindness to them even if they do not share the same beliefs.
"But if they [your parents] endeavor to make you associate with Me [Allah] that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness..." Surat Luqman (Quran 31:15)
No matter the situation, we must always strive to be kind and respectful to our parents.
As Allah tells us in a verse from Surat al-Isra':
"...Say not to them [so much as], 'uff,' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word." (Quran 17:23)
"Uff" is an expression of irritation that one may sometimes feel toward another person, but we must avoid expressing ourselves this way with our parents.
Pleasing our parents means pleasing Allah — and it is crucial for our success in both this life and the Hereafter.
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
"...Be grateful to Me [Allah] and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination." Surat Luqman (Quran 31:14)
Allah associates gratitude to Him with gratitude to one's parents.
As we have seen, thanking Allah shows faith in Allah — and one way to thank Allah is by thanking our parents...for raising us, for taking care of us, and for all of the sacrifices they have made on our behalf.
Allah gives huge importance to parents in several verses in the Quran. We must honor them and show kindness to them even if they do not share the same beliefs.
"But if they [your parents] endeavor to make you associate with Me [Allah] that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness..." Surat Luqman (Quran 31:15)
No matter the situation, we must always strive to be kind and respectful to our parents.
As Allah tells us in a verse from Surat al-Isra':
"...Say not to them [so much as], 'uff,' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word." (Quran 17:23)
"Uff" is an expression of irritation that one may sometimes feel toward another person, but we must avoid expressing ourselves this way with our parents.
Pleasing our parents means pleasing Allah — and it is crucial for our success in both this life and the Hereafter.
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
👍3
After receiving guidance, the best supplication one can make is asking Allaah for firmness upon the Deen. For Ibraaheem عليه السلام had supplicated, saying:
وَإِذْ قَالَ إِبْرَاهِيمُ رَبِّ اجْعَلْ هَـٰذَا الْبَلَدَ آمِنًا وَاجْنُبْنِي وَبَنِيَّ أَن نَّعْبُدَ الْأَصْنَامَ
{And (remember) when Ibraaheem said: “O my Lord! Make this city (Makkah) one of peace and security, and keep me and my sons away from worshipping idols.”} [Surah Ibraaheem (14): 35]
Ibraaheem عليه السلام feared for himself from worshiping the idols, even though he was the one who broke the idols and shattered them with his own hands, because of which he suffered the punishment and humiliation at the hands of his people, all this for the sake of Allaah, yet he is supplicating:
وَاجْنُبْنِى وَبَنِىَّ أَن نَّعْبُدَ الاٌّصْنَام
{(O Allaah!) …and keep me and my sons away from worshiping idols} [Surah Ibraaheem (14): 35]
He did not say: “I am now saved”. Rather, he requested Allaah to protect him and his sons from worshiping the idols. A man should fear his Lord at all times. How many guided people have gone astray? And how many people have deviated from the Straight Path? How many Believers have become Kaafir and apostates? And how many deviants have been guided by Allaah? And how many Kuffaar have become Muslims? Verily, the matter is in the Hands of Allaah, He guides whom He Wills.
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
وَإِذْ قَالَ إِبْرَاهِيمُ رَبِّ اجْعَلْ هَـٰذَا الْبَلَدَ آمِنًا وَاجْنُبْنِي وَبَنِيَّ أَن نَّعْبُدَ الْأَصْنَامَ
{And (remember) when Ibraaheem said: “O my Lord! Make this city (Makkah) one of peace and security, and keep me and my sons away from worshipping idols.”} [Surah Ibraaheem (14): 35]
Ibraaheem عليه السلام feared for himself from worshiping the idols, even though he was the one who broke the idols and shattered them with his own hands, because of which he suffered the punishment and humiliation at the hands of his people, all this for the sake of Allaah, yet he is supplicating:
وَاجْنُبْنِى وَبَنِىَّ أَن نَّعْبُدَ الاٌّصْنَام
{(O Allaah!) …and keep me and my sons away from worshiping idols} [Surah Ibraaheem (14): 35]
He did not say: “I am now saved”. Rather, he requested Allaah to protect him and his sons from worshiping the idols. A man should fear his Lord at all times. How many guided people have gone astray? And how many people have deviated from the Straight Path? How many Believers have become Kaafir and apostates? And how many deviants have been guided by Allaah? And how many Kuffaar have become Muslims? Verily, the matter is in the Hands of Allaah, He guides whom He Wills.
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
👍9
Over 1400 years ago, when a child was born, the messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) made it his sunnah to take a small part of a date and place it in his mouth. He would then chew it until it was soft and then he would rub it onto the palate of the new born baby. This is called the tahneek.
Aaishah (ra) reports, "new-born children used to be brought to the Messenger of Allah and he would supplicate for blessings for them, and rub a chewed date upon their palate." (Muslim)
Today, over 1400 years later - the BBC News has reported that "experts" have said - "A dose of sugar given as a gel rubbed into the inside of the cheek is a cheap and effective way to protect premature babies against brain damage"
This is why we as Muslims follow the sunnah of the messenger without questioning it. It is revelation from Allah. Everything that the messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) did is the best. So don't wait until science catches up, because Islam is the forefront of development.
The things we do according to the sunnah (such as fasting Mondays and Thursdays) are only just being recognised as "scientific breakthroughs".
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
Aaishah (ra) reports, "new-born children used to be brought to the Messenger of Allah and he would supplicate for blessings for them, and rub a chewed date upon their palate." (Muslim)
Today, over 1400 years later - the BBC News has reported that "experts" have said - "A dose of sugar given as a gel rubbed into the inside of the cheek is a cheap and effective way to protect premature babies against brain damage"
This is why we as Muslims follow the sunnah of the messenger without questioning it. It is revelation from Allah. Everything that the messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) did is the best. So don't wait until science catches up, because Islam is the forefront of development.
The things we do according to the sunnah (such as fasting Mondays and Thursdays) are only just being recognised as "scientific breakthroughs".
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
👍13
Nowadays, parents send their brightest children to top ranking universities, and they send their children - who fail at everything else - to study Islamic sciences.!!
Then these same parents complain about the low quality of Islamic scholarships!
Why don’t you send your brightest children to study Islam, so you can produce high quality scholars?
Then, some of these children who were pushed into Islamic studies because they were failures in life, grow up, hating worldly education and discourage the society from making money etc. because they didn’t have them.
As the saying goes:
!دستش به آلو نمیرسه میگه آلو ترش است
‘𝗛𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝘂𝗺, 𝘀𝗼 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱: 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝘂𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿!’
Nowadays, they also try to mix orphanages with madaris, and beg everyone to help the madaris for the sake of the orphans - this is also a mistake.
If you do that, many people will be put off from sending their children to study Islamic sciences, they will associate it with orphans and begging.
In the past, Islamic sciences were considered prestigious, people used to send their brightest children to study Islamic sciences - that’s why we flourished and produced so many great intellectuals.
We should restore the honour and lost prestige of Islamic education, remove the dust that covers its shine.
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
Then these same parents complain about the low quality of Islamic scholarships!
Why don’t you send your brightest children to study Islam, so you can produce high quality scholars?
Then, some of these children who were pushed into Islamic studies because they were failures in life, grow up, hating worldly education and discourage the society from making money etc. because they didn’t have them.
As the saying goes:
!دستش به آلو نمیرسه میگه آلو ترش است
‘𝗛𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝘂𝗺, 𝘀𝗼 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱: 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝘂𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿!’
Nowadays, they also try to mix orphanages with madaris, and beg everyone to help the madaris for the sake of the orphans - this is also a mistake.
If you do that, many people will be put off from sending their children to study Islamic sciences, they will associate it with orphans and begging.
In the past, Islamic sciences were considered prestigious, people used to send their brightest children to study Islamic sciences - that’s why we flourished and produced so many great intellectuals.
We should restore the honour and lost prestige of Islamic education, remove the dust that covers its shine.
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
👍15
Imām ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:
“How many people have caused misery to their own children, the apples of their eyes, in this world and in the Hereafter, by neglecting them, not disciplining them, encouraging them to follow their whims and desires, thinking that they were honouring them when they were in fact humiliating them, that they were being merciful to them when in fact they were wronging them.
They have not benefited from having a child, and they have made the child lose his share in this world and in the Hereafter.
If you think about the corruption of children you will see that in most cases it is because of the parents.”
[Tuhfat al-Mawlood, Page. 146]
“How many people have caused misery to their own children, the apples of their eyes, in this world and in the Hereafter, by neglecting them, not disciplining them, encouraging them to follow their whims and desires, thinking that they were honouring them when they were in fact humiliating them, that they were being merciful to them when in fact they were wronging them.
They have not benefited from having a child, and they have made the child lose his share in this world and in the Hereafter.
If you think about the corruption of children you will see that in most cases it is because of the parents.”
[Tuhfat al-Mawlood, Page. 146]
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Forwarded from Jannah is Our Dream
When You Have Business, Travel Or Marriage Plans Make Sure You Keep It a Secret.....
👍7
Imam Ahmad's reaction on the birth of the daughters.
Ibn al Qayyim said:
وقال صالح بن أحمد : كان أبي إذا ولد له ابنة يقول : الأنبياء كانوا آباء بنات . ويقول : قد جاء في البنات ما قد علمت .
وقال يعقوب بن بختان : ولد لي سبع بنات ، فكنت كلما ولد لي ابنة دخلت على أحمد بن حنبل فيقول لي : يا أبا يوسف ، الأنبياء آباء بنات ؛ فكان يذهب قوله همي
Saaleh bin Ahmad said: Whenever a daughter would born to my father (Ahmad bin Hanbal), He would say: The Prophets were the fathers of the daughters, and You know what is mentioned regarding them (in Quran and sunnah).
Yaqub bin Bakhtan said: I had 7 daughters and Imam Ahmad would come to me and say: O Abu Yusaf: The Prophets were fathers of the daughters, His saying would relief my sorrow. [Tuhfa tul Mawdood page 26]
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
Ibn al Qayyim said:
وقال صالح بن أحمد : كان أبي إذا ولد له ابنة يقول : الأنبياء كانوا آباء بنات . ويقول : قد جاء في البنات ما قد علمت .
وقال يعقوب بن بختان : ولد لي سبع بنات ، فكنت كلما ولد لي ابنة دخلت على أحمد بن حنبل فيقول لي : يا أبا يوسف ، الأنبياء آباء بنات ؛ فكان يذهب قوله همي
Saaleh bin Ahmad said: Whenever a daughter would born to my father (Ahmad bin Hanbal), He would say: The Prophets were the fathers of the daughters, and You know what is mentioned regarding them (in Quran and sunnah).
Yaqub bin Bakhtan said: I had 7 daughters and Imam Ahmad would come to me and say: O Abu Yusaf: The Prophets were fathers of the daughters, His saying would relief my sorrow. [Tuhfa tul Mawdood page 26]
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
👍4
𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐲
𝔸𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕙 سبحانه وتعالى 𝕊𝕒𝕪𝕤,
يَوْمَ يَفِرُّ الْمَرْءُ مِنْ أَخِيهِ
"(That will be) the Day a man will flee from his brother.
وَأُمِّهِ وَأَبِيهِ
And (from) his mother and his father.
وَصَاحِبَتِهِ وَبَنِيهِ
And (from) his wife and his children."
[Qur'an 80:34-36]
Al-Qurtubi رحمه الله mentioned some of the reasons why a person will flee from his close and beloved on the Day of Resurrection.
🔹Every person will be preoccupied (worried) about themselves.
🔹Out of fear of being asked for rights that are due upon him from others.
🔹He will not want others to see the severe and difficult situation he is in.
🔹Due to him knowing that he will not be helped and benefited by them in any way whatsoever.
[Tafseer al-Qurtubi, vol.22, pgs.89-90, Resalah Publishers, 1st edition]
𝔸𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕙 سبحانه وتعالى 𝕊𝕒𝕪𝕤,
يَوْمَ يَفِرُّ الْمَرْءُ مِنْ أَخِيهِ
"(That will be) the Day a man will flee from his brother.
وَأُمِّهِ وَأَبِيهِ
And (from) his mother and his father.
وَصَاحِبَتِهِ وَبَنِيهِ
And (from) his wife and his children."
[Qur'an 80:34-36]
Al-Qurtubi رحمه الله mentioned some of the reasons why a person will flee from his close and beloved on the Day of Resurrection.
🔹Every person will be preoccupied (worried) about themselves.
🔹Out of fear of being asked for rights that are due upon him from others.
🔹He will not want others to see the severe and difficult situation he is in.
🔹Due to him knowing that he will not be helped and benefited by them in any way whatsoever.
[Tafseer al-Qurtubi, vol.22, pgs.89-90, Resalah Publishers, 1st edition]
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Always be honest with ur kids, don't just teach them to be honest, SHOW them honesty.
This hadith reminds me of this incident of Imam Bukhari (rahmatullah):
Imam Bukhari (rahimahullaah) travelled to meet a man in order to take hadeeth from him. But he saw this man calling his horse with an empty vessel in his hand, as if there was food in that vessel, moving it in order for the horse to come near so he can grab the horse. So Imam Bukahri asked him, “What is in that vessel?” And the man said, “Nothing.” Then Imam Bukhari said, “By Allaah, I will NOT take hadeeth from you, because you are a LIAR.” Subhaan Allah!
Reference for the hadith: 'Abdullah said, "Lying is not correct, neither in seriousness nor in jest. None of you should promise his child something and then not give it to him." [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 387: classed Sahih by Shaykh Al Albaani]
This hadith reminds me of this incident of Imam Bukhari (rahmatullah):
Imam Bukhari (rahimahullaah) travelled to meet a man in order to take hadeeth from him. But he saw this man calling his horse with an empty vessel in his hand, as if there was food in that vessel, moving it in order for the horse to come near so he can grab the horse. So Imam Bukahri asked him, “What is in that vessel?” And the man said, “Nothing.” Then Imam Bukhari said, “By Allaah, I will NOT take hadeeth from you, because you are a LIAR.” Subhaan Allah!
Reference for the hadith: 'Abdullah said, "Lying is not correct, neither in seriousness nor in jest. None of you should promise his child something and then not give it to him." [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 387: classed Sahih by Shaykh Al Albaani]
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Paying back your mother
Ibn Umar رضي الله عنه saw a Yemeni man doing tawaf carrying his mother, and he was saying:
“I am her humble camel. If her mount is scared, I am not scared.”
Then he said,
“O Ibn Umar, do you think I have repaid her?”
Ibn Umar رضي الله عنه said:
“No, not even for a single pang (of pregnancy).”
Ibn Umar رضي الله عنه saw a Yemeni man doing tawaf carrying his mother, and he was saying:
“I am her humble camel. If her mount is scared, I am not scared.”
Then he said,
“O Ibn Umar, do you think I have repaid her?”
Ibn Umar رضي الله عنه said:
“No, not even for a single pang (of pregnancy).”
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A RIGHTEOUS UPBRINGING IS THROUGH EXAMPLE
The performance of worship is the greatest aid to the woman in fulfilling her household duties with perfection.
The righteous woman is the one who fulfills her role in the desired fashion. Likewise, the basis of a righteous upbringing is through example, as the woman performing this worship with humility and serenity has the greatest effect upon those within the home, from the children and other than them. When the woman perfects her Wudū and then stands before her Lord with humility and submission, then she will cultivate the children upon these good qualities through her example, in addition to a clarification and direction through her speech.
Book: A Woman's Guide to Raising a Family
By Shaykh Sālih al-Fawzān
Translated by Raha Batts
Hikmah Publications
P. 23, 24
The performance of worship is the greatest aid to the woman in fulfilling her household duties with perfection.
The righteous woman is the one who fulfills her role in the desired fashion. Likewise, the basis of a righteous upbringing is through example, as the woman performing this worship with humility and serenity has the greatest effect upon those within the home, from the children and other than them. When the woman perfects her Wudū and then stands before her Lord with humility and submission, then she will cultivate the children upon these good qualities through her example, in addition to a clarification and direction through her speech.
Book: A Woman's Guide to Raising a Family
By Shaykh Sālih al-Fawzān
Translated by Raha Batts
Hikmah Publications
P. 23, 24
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